


Amaryllis in Bloom

by LairdStewart98



Category: Katawa Shoujo
Genre: Disabled Character, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, POV Original Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-03-15 05:27:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13606512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LairdStewart98/pseuds/LairdStewart98
Summary: Smith Kaito. Kaito Smith. A boy who lost his left hand and leg in a car crash. His entire life changed in a single minute. He's later moved to Yamaku Academy, where he meets new friends. And possibly love.





	1. Welcome to Yamaku

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a slightly modified version of my story from my profile on FanFiction.net.  
> Hope you enjoy!

**"You raze the old to raise the new"  
** Justina Chen

* * *

People say that things always happen for a reason. I believe them when they say this. What they don't tell you however is how long you'll suffer before the next ray of happiness appears in the tunnel that is your life.

A minute. That's how long it took for my life to completely change. A single car ride and a single stupid choice.

We were driving along the mountain road near my hometown. I had forgotten to put my seatbelt on. It was raining, visibility was poor. Another car was coming the other way. My dad swerved to avoid it we went over the edge. My parents were in the front while I was in the back. We bounced down the mountainside when we collided with a tree.

The car stopped. I didn't

I went straight through the glass and kept on rolling. They found me about half-a-mile further down.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was dead for two minutes and unconscious for three months. I received multiple bone fractures and lacerations all over my body. The damage on the left side was the worst. I lost my left hand as well as my left leg from the knee down. I now also have minor brain damage on the left side, left a big scar on my head too.

Therapy was frustrating, to say politely. Months if not years (I don't remember things like that very well anymore) blurred together as I gained strength, regained control of my arm, hand and leg. I had to relearn it all. I was a leftie until the accident, now I'm not. I had to get used to using my right hand until the prosthesis came, so that was fun (not). Add the damage to my left brain and well...you probably get the picture.

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about the past, I'm here for the future!

God, that sounded cheesy. I blame my physio-guy for that, he was always spewing fortune cookie drivel like that. But I digress. After my therapy all the doctors told my parents that I had spent too long inside, that I needed to go back into society and get my education. Naturally my parents were worried I wouldn't cope because I required special needs, so the doctors recommended this school for the disabled, Yamaku Academy. The place had all the things normal schools had, but it also had hospital-level nursing staff on site 24/7 so I would want for nothing. Unfortunately it was in another city, but they were assured that the school had dorms. So, off I was packed.

* * *

 

Two months later, I found myself standing at the gates of Yamaku.

At least it looks clean.

Sorry I'm probably giving the wrong impression. The school was massive, especially compared to my last one (at least I think it was, my memory's kind of fuzzy on the exact size). Anyway, the gates themselves were these massive manor-type iron ones. I felt the steel with my good hand, feeling the strange texture of cool metal and flaky paint.

"Hello?" came a voice from behind me. I may have let out an involuntary noise in surprise. I get lost in the little details so easily now, I never heard him coming.

I turned to face the voice. It was a guy, brown hair and eyes. His hair fairly well groomed with the exception of a single hair that stuck up like a unicorn's horn.

"Uh..." I spoke, cursing my stunted social skills "Hey"

"You new as well?" he asked me

I nodded, finding it easier than trying to coerce my brain and mouth to work together.

"I'm Hisao" the boy nodded as a form of greeting

I returned the greeting "Smith Kaito. Kaito Smith"

Hisao kind of gave me a funny look, which I don't really blame him for. I mean, he probably saw the fake hand and the scars; I wasn't really hiding them. Nevertheless, he opened the gate for me. "Shall we?" he said.

I nodded and we walked through the gate together. The main grounds were huge. It almost felt like a park. It seemed that Hisao and I were headed to the same place; the main building.

"No parents?" I asked him.

Hisao looked at me funny again. I guess that came out wrong.

"At the dorm?" I added "Mine are"

Hisao went "Ah" at that, as if he realised what I was asking "my parents are at the dorms, yes. They're unpacking for me while I meet whoever we're supposed to be meeting"

I nodded in understanding. It seemed he had been told the exact same thing I had. Our parents would deal with our luggage while we met up with a teacher or something like that.

A part of me wanted to ask what he was doing in Yamaku, or rather what made him come here. I couldn't see anything physically wrong with him. Thankfully, my brain still knew well enough to not voice the question. I could understand touchy subjects after all.

He muttered something under his breath as we walked through the doors, where we were met by a tall man in a suit. All dark hair and eyes with too many bag underneath him, he spoke to us "You must be Ni...Na...Niki? And, uh, was it Smee?"

I snickered a little at that. The man was addressing us by our surnames, and butchering them in the process. "Sorry" I apologised when he gave me a look "Smith. Kaito Smith"

"Nakai" Hisao corrected him as well.

"Excellent" man smiled "My name is Mutou. I'll be your homeroom and science teacher"

I perked up a little there. Science was one of my favourite subjects. Although, if I remembered right I drifted more towards the biology-side of science. I despised the physics-side; too many numbers.

Mutou shook us both by the hand and looked at his watch "The head nurse had wanted to see you both for a brief check-in, but I'm afraid there's no time for that now"

"Should we go later?" Hisao asked him

"Yes, afternoon would be fine" Mutou nodded "Now come. We should introduce you to the rest of the class. They're already waiting"

Now that was a situation I was hoping to avoid. I hated being the centre of attention, even before my accident.

"Would you like to introduce yourselves to the class?" he asked us.

"Yeah, sure" Hisao said "I mean, isn't that normal?"

"Of course" Mutou replied "But not everyone likes to be the centre of attention" He turned to me "And you, Mr. Smith. What would you like?"

My mind felt like TV static as I tried to formulate an answer, my words coming out in disjointed mumbles "Uh...Okay, I mean yeah. Okay"

Mutou gave me a funny look, but nodded nonetheless "It's okay. We have many shy students here. You only need to introduce yourself if you feel up to it"

I nodded, and up the stairs we went. As walked I was rehearsing my introduction in my head, trying to make coherent sentences about myself and what I liked "Hello, my name is Kaito Smith. I like art and reading  ~~I can be quite quiet but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person~~ (strike that last part). 

I kept getting distracted by the floor. The corridors were made of linoleum tiles, but some of them were a slight shade darker than the others. There was no proper pattern to them either, and that frustrated me. I spent a lot of brainpower trying to find one to no avail. 

I was that focused on my task that I hadn't noticed that the other had stopped until I walked into Hisao "Careful" he reprimanded me.

"Sorry"

"We're here" Mutou said, gesturing to the door. Class 3-3. Third floor, third room. Clever.

Mutou opened the door, and in we went. 


	2. The First Day

**"All children start their school careers with sparkling imaginations, fertile minds, and a willingness to take risks with what they think"  
** Ken Robinson

* * *

"Hello class" Mutou said "Sorry I'm late again"

I looked out across the class as Mutou spoke. At first everyone seemed like normal, unblemished teenagers. Then I started noticing stuff, like how that girl was missing a thumb, or that guy had a cane, or that girl was speaking to her friend in sign.

"...please welcome our newest classmates"

Mutou clapped his hands, as did the rest of the class. Even the girl with only one hand. I flinched a little at the loud noise, but nevertheless bowed alongside Hisao. The silence that followed was almost just as deafening (somehow).

"So...Hisao decided to be the one to break the silence "I'm Hisao Nakai. My hobbies are reading and soccer. I hope to get along well with everyone, even though I'm new" He stopped after that and looked at me expectantly, which immediately blew a fuse in my brain.

I looked across the class as I tried to recall what I had intended to say "I uh...Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I, uh, like art and um...reading....I'm quiet" I kind of clammed up after that.

Mutou, thankfully, started speaking to fill the awkward silence, although I couldn't for the life of me remember what he said. Everyone clapped again once he was done though, which was a little jarring.

"Right, we'll be doing some group work today" he announced "Hisao. Kaito. You two can work with Hakamichi. She's the class representative so she should be able to answer any questions you have"

Wait, wasn't it  _his_ job to explain stuff? He was the teacher after all. Nevertheless, we went to go sit with this Hakamichi. A bright girl with golden eyes and the most absurd shade of pink hair stood up to meet us.

"I guess you're Hakamichi" Hisao said "It's nice to meet you"

"Hahahaha!" laughed the girl. I definitely flinched that time. That was  _loud_.

"It's nice to meet you too! But I'm not Hakamichi, I'm Misha! This is Hakamichi" she gestured to the girl sitting next to her, a pretty girl with hair that seemed blue under the classroom lights and a pair of piercing blue behind a pair of silver glasses. I found myself squirming slightly under her gaze.

"It's nice to meet you" Hisao said to her.

"Hi" I said.

Hakamichi looked at Misha, who translated our greetings (presumably) to her. Hakamichi smiled and made a few gestures of her own.

"I can see you're a little confused, right?" Misha translated "But I understand why you would think I was Shicchan. Shizune is deaf, so I'm kind of like an interpreter for her. She says it's nice to meet you too!"

Shizune signed something and Misha translated "You're the new students, aren't you?". The girl laughed "Well, Shicchan, of course they are! If they weren't, they wouldn't have been standing at the front for no reason, right? Right! They look pretty interesting, don't they? We knew there were going to be new students, but we didn't know you would be here today. So soon! Right Hicchan? Kaito?"

I could only stare. This Misha spoke a mile-a-minute. Hisao seemed baffled as well "Hicchan?"

"Yup!" Misha smiled with a massive grin "It fits, doesn't it?"

"I don't really see how" he said.

"You look just like a Hicchan!" Hakamichi signed. Misha laughed alongside the other girl's smile. I wasn't too sure what the joke was, but it seemed Hisao was going to be stuck with that nickname for the foreseeable future.

"I wonder why everyone thinks that" Hisao wondered aloud.

Hakamichi tapped her fingers on the desk to get Misha's attention. They gestured back and forth at speeds too fast to track. Eventually even Misha seemed to have trouble keeping up.

"Err...Sorry about that!" she said to us "Shicchan wants you to know that she's the class rep, so if there is anything you two want to know, you need only ask her" Hakamichi signed some more "Do you like the school so far? We can show you both around a little if you haven't had the time to walk around and..." there was a pause. She looked liked she stuck on a word "...familiarise yourself with it?"

While I found Misha's energy and Hakamichi's stare a little off-putting, I hated the idea of walking around the school alone even less "Okay"

"Yeah," Hisao seemed to agree with me "That'd be pretty helpful. We just kind of came straight to class"

Hakamichi signed something, and Misha burst into ear-splitting laughter "That's no good! You should always try to learn as much as you can about where you're going before you go there. No just with school either. Always! Even if it's a trip to the convenience store! Really, Shicchan? Hahahaha!"

Hisao slumped a little more in his chair, making his slight frame look even smaller.

"You okay?" I asked.

Hakamichi signed something and Misha translated "Don't take it the wrong way please. I hate it when people are afraid to ask questions! That's how people learn things, by asking! Asking for help is perfectly normal, as much as needing help! Stop looking like you just failed a test!" Misha laughed at that last bit.

Hisao gave a small smile "Alright"

"Another thing" Misha signed as she spoke, likely out of habit "You don't have to call Shicchan something so formal like "Hakamichi" or "Class Rep" all the time! Just call her Shicchan!" Hakamichi gave her a look and sign that made her speak some more "Okay, too formal. Maybe Shizune would be more appropriate?"

Shizune nodded.

"Yup, yup!" Misha grinned ""Shizune" is fine!"

Hisao and I both nodded in agreement. It appeared that I had been wrong about Shizune. I had thought she'd be nastier, just from the staring I had gotten. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

Shizune tapped the desk with a frown. Guess I spoke too soon.

"Oh right, we haven't even touched the assignment!" Misha realised "We should start working now, or Shicchan will get mad"

Ah, so Shizune was one of  _those_ kinds of people: Perfectly friendly but a stickler for rules and protocol. I guess that kind of character was to be expected of a class rep.

"It's pretty long too" Hisao noted "We should probably start now if we want it finished before the end of class"

I wish I could say that I was a massive contribution, but sadly I wasn't that much help. Hisao and Shizune were both really smart, working together through Misha like a well-oiled machine. I, on the other hand, couldn't make sense of the numbers. I was always terrible with numbers and equations and all that, even before my accident.

I also kept getting distracted by the things around me, namely the other people. There was a girl in the front row who looked like she was napping, and Mutou was sitting at his desk trying (in vain) to fix his tie; little details I picked up which inevitably led to my time being wasted.

Despite that, we managed to finish a few minutes earlier than anyone else.

Not long after that the bell rang (which was pretty loud as well) and Misha beckoned Hisao and I to follow her and Shizune. We eventually found ourselves in the cafeteria.

"It's the cafeteria!" Misha announced as we entered, which was both needless and attracting a little more attention from passer-bys than I was comfortable with. Seemingly ignorant to stares though, Misha led us to the line where we got our food without any incidence. I was surprised by the variety, although upon reflection it probably made sense to try and accommodate those that needed special diets. It reminded me of hospital. I liked that, it was familiar. Familiar is good.

I got some rice and joined Misha, Shizune and Hisao at the closest table. I must admit I ate like a pig, shovelling my food away like it'd be like my last until Misha tapped me on the top of my head to get my attention. I looked up, rice still in my cheeks as Shizune looked at me with shocked expression.

"So-" I stopped myself and swallowed "Sorry. Hungry"

Shizune seemed to have read my expression well enough, because hers softened as she signed something. Helpless, I looked to Misha to translate.

"Do you want to know something?" Misha asked

Hisao must have started listening then, because he looked up from his barely touched food and made a noise like "Huh?"

"Questions. We're your guides so you should ask if there is something!"

"Books?" I asked. Met with blank stares, I tried again "Um...I like books" I elaborated "Is there a library?"

Misha frowned for the briefest of moments (I guess she wasn't a big reader) before her smile returned as big and bright as ever "There's one on the second floor! We can show it to you sometime!"

If I was honest, I wanted to go to the library immediately and hide myself under a pile of books, but I guess I would have to wait "Um...Okay"

They spoke a little with Hisao while I returned to my food. Can't say I was very interested.

* * *

Eventually the bell rang and we returned to class.

Turns out we weren't the first ones there. At the very back there was a girl, slumped over her desk like she was tired or cold. Her hair was an entrancingly dark colour. It looked black, but in the sunlight that came through the windows it shone with lots of different bluish and purplish colours. She jumped a little when Misha came crashing through the door (the girl had no volume control), shrinking into her seat even further. I kind of felt sorry for her. Our very presence seemed to spook her.

Misha and Shizune however didn't seem to notice or care, and returned to their seats as if all was well. 

I found myself thinking about that girl, even as the classroom filled with the others and class resumed.

* * *

So after what felt like an eternity the final bell rang and school ended. Shizune and Misha apologised to Hisao and I, saying that they couldn't stay with us any longer, that they had outstanding work to do or something. At least they had the courtesy to escort us to the nurse's office. Or should I say building; the place was massive. An entire place dedicated to healing and physical therapy.

We came to a door labelled "Head Nurse". Hisao knocked and upon invitation we entered.

The room was pretty normal for a nurse's office; small, neat with an overwhelmingly sterile smell. It reminded me of hospital, which was nice. Familiar was good.

The nurse seemed nice. He was a young(ish) looking man with a pleasant smile, not at all like Misha's cat grin.

"Hello!" he said brightly "What can I do for you both?"

"Are you the nurse?" Hisao asked him.

"We're new" I added.

The man rolled his eyes as he smiled (guess he's heard what we'd said many times before) "I see" he shook Hisao's hand "Yes, I am the nurse. Says so on the door, no?" he then turned and shook my hand "You can call me by name if you wish, or you can call me "The Nurse" like everyone else"

"Right," Hisao said "Like Kaito said, we're new. We were told by our home teacher to come and meet you. My name is Hisao Nakai"

The Nurse snapped his fingers "Ah, so  _you're_ Nakai. I was reading your file just this morning" he looked at me "Yours too, Mr. Smith"

"Now," he continued "If you want, I can speak to you both now, or I can keep this private and do you one at a time"

I didn't really care, but Hisao gave me an uncomfortable look that even I could notice "I'd prefer a little privacy"

"Oh. Okay" I nodded "Just outside?"

The Nurse nodded "We shouldn't be long"

I nodded and went outside. I stood by the door for a while, but then I got bored. My attention was drawn to the other side of the hallway, there I could a little flaw in the brickwork. Some of the concrete had crumbled away to reveal a small hole wide enough for a pencil. With nothing else to do, I raised a fake finger and started scratching away at the hole.

I'm not really sure how long I was there before someone came and tapped me on the shoulder. "What are you doing?" It was Hisao.

"Um..." I found myself unsure how to answer. I just gestured towards the wall, in the vague direction of the hole. It hadn't gotten that much bigger "There was a hole"

Hisao just gave me a strange look "I'm finished with the nurse" he said "He's waiting for you" He left after that.

I went back to speak with the nurse, who shook my hand the second I got through the door "Hello again, Mr. Smith".

I sat down in a armchair while he lifted a folder off his desk. My file, perhaps. "So," he spoke "An amputated hand and lower leg. Am I reading that right?"

I nodded with a wiggle of my fake hand. I then pulled up a trouser leg so he could see the leg.

"Okay then" he put my file back down on the desk and sat in his chair "You've probably been briefed already about the school, so I'll try and be quick. We have all kinds of facilities available, mostly physical therapy and such. There's always someone from my staff around, even at night, so never hesitate to come to us or give us a call if there's a problem"

That would be the famous 24/7 staff I had been told about.

He picked up my file again and began to read some more "Two prosthetics: One hand and one leg. Do you wear shrinkers to bed?" I nodded "Good. That should help with putting them on in the morning. Do you do any sports?" I shook my head "Okay. Even so, make sure to clean your sockets every day or so, we don't want any bacteria or any other nasty stuff building up after all, do we?"

He was saying nothing I hadn't heard before. Nevertheless, I nodded "Okay"

The Nurse smiled "Great. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulder, so I don't think I'll need to pester you as often. Even so, if you feel any discomfort, come straight to me so I can check it out. If something's up with your prosthesis, like if you outgrow them or break them, I know who to call to organise replacement models for you"

I nodded, though I was secretly hoping I wouldn't get any bigger. I was already 6ft and taller than a lot of my peers. I didn't need another reason to stand out.

"Super. That'll be all then" He ushered me out before I had even realised it. Pretty quick indeed.

* * *

With nothing else to do, I went to the dorms. Room 118. On the way there, I found Hisao talking to some guy in the door of Room 117. He had messy dark, thick glasses and a stripy scarf.

"Hey" I greeted Hisao as I passed

"Who's that?" the guy in the glasses almost jumped in the air at the sound of my voice. I guess he was blind.

"Uh..."

"This is Kaito" Hisao introduced me "Kaito, this is Kenji"

"Dude!" Kenji snapped "Don't go throwing my name around! You never know who's listening!"

Okay, now I was confused "It's uh, just us"

"Hmm..." Kenji looked at me, or least in my general direction "Sometimes I wonder of I'm the one that's blind" (What?) "They're always watching" he told me, before spinning back to Hisao and almost head-butting him "See you again sometime!" He slammed the door in our faces, and there was the sound of several locks being used.

"Huh?" I couldn't manage anything more than that.

"Don't look at me," Hisao muttered "I'm just as confused as you are" I chuckled a little at that.

Saying goodnight to Hisao, I went into my room. It was a simple room; a desk, a bed, bookshelves and a closet. The closest was full of school uniforms (fantastic, not), the bookshelves were empty (that would have to be remedied). My bags were unpacked thankfully (thank you, parents).

I found my clothes, my papers, my pencils and brushes. I found a mirror too, guess I forgot my mom put that in there as well.

Staring into that little handhold mirror, I couldn't help but gaze at my features. I definitely got my features from father, who was Caucasian, with my round blue-grey eyes and hair that I couldn't decide was either dark blond or light brown. More specifically, I was running a hand along the scar on the side of my head. A rugged scar that curled up from my cheekbone to my crown, cutting a bald line through my hair. I had other scars, like some small ones on my arms but that was the biggest one you could see without getting me naked.

I sighed. I wouldn't tell anyone, but I was still a little self-conscious about it all.; the way that my scars were a little conspicuous or the way that my brain still got muddled sometimes. 

Alas, there was nothing I could really do about it. So with  the day at its end and myself yawning with every second breath, I stripped and went to sleep.


	3. First Impressions (And How To Mess Them Up)

**"Experience is making mistakes and learning from them"  
** Bill Ackerman

* * *

I woke up not knowing where I was. I'd just had a nightmare about my accident. An unfortunately common occurrence.

So I had to start the daily routine: sit until my breathing settled and go over the important information:

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy.

Even after a good night's sleep, it feels good to know that I know what's going on in my life. Given how muddled my mind can be on its worst days it can sometimes be a must to just stop and think.

After ten minutes of that, I got dressed and went to class, running into Hisao along the way.

* * *

Class ran at a snail's pace as day went on.

"Hey Shizune" Hisao asked out of the blue "Where does everyone go after class? I mean, are there clubs that people go to or something?"

While I had never considered asking that question, I was the one who voiced the immediate error "Uh, I don't think she can hear you"

As I'd expected, Shizune just stared at him for a moment before tapping on Misha's shoulder with a frown.

Misha looked up from her doodle with a sheepish expression "Ahaha! Sorry Shicchan! Is there something you wanted from me?"

Shizune signed to her, and Hisao asked his question again "Oh! I see! Hmm...That's a good question, Hicchan"

Shizune signed something "Oh, that's right! Everyone is encouraged to join a club. A lot of people do so because there isn't really anything else to do. There are also school events, like the festival coming up in a few days. Almost every student in the school tends to help out with it, doing whatever. So, you guys actually transferred in at a busy time. Maybe you can both help out!"

Wait, what?

"Sure" Hisao agreed "What's the festival about?"

Misha froze, then laughed "Wahahaha! I don't know. The truth is it's a local event, and I'm not from this area, so..."

I recognised the next look on her face: the panicked look of an empty mind. She started desperately signing to Shizune, in response, adjusted her glasses in a needlessly fancy manner before replying.

Misha chuckled "Who cares?" she translated in an unnecessarily loud voice. I winced at the sound, as did a few people sitting near us.

"Not so loud" Hisao chastised her.

Shizune signed "Human beings evolve with each new generation! The ideals and beliefs behind a festival will inevitably change with time!"

Misha added with her own quip "Now, it's about delicious fried food and amusing little games that you play to win prizes! Hahahaha!"

The teacher, their patience now worn thin, cleared their throat and hit the board with their pointer, their meaning clear. At least Misha had the sense to shut up after that.

Shizune signed something, which Misha translated in a (thankfully) quieter voice "We are in the middle of class, and should start working" She didn't stop talking though "That's right! Hicchan, are you asking because you're interested in joining a club?"

I may have imagined it, but I could sworn that I saw a look pass between the two girls.

"Yeah, I was thinking about it" Hisao said, seemingly oblivious to whatever they were planning.

I, at that point, looked around to see the dark-haired girl from the other day get up and slip out of class without a word. Confused, I looked to the teacher, who had also noticed her leave. Why didn't he say anything? It hadn't looked like she was working with anyone either. No one reacted.

"Kaito?" came Misha's voice (no surprise there) "Are you alright? Is something wrong?"

I didn't get it. A girl just sneaked out and no one noticed? No one thought that was weird?

"...No" I answered.

Shizune smiled and signed something to Misha "Do either of you have plans for lunch today?"

"Not really" was Hisao's reply.

"Library" was mine.

Misha shared a look and some sign with Shizune, who shrugged her shoulders and signed something else in response. "Okay then," she said "Hisao, do you want to have lunch with us?"

"Sure" he nodded

Shizune smiled, and Misha laughed "Perfect!"

* * *

So I had forgotten to go to the library, and I just went and got some chicken soup instead. 

When class resumed, The dark-haired girl came back as well, sitting back into her seat without a word like she had never left.

No one seemed to think it was weird. It frustrated me because I felt like I was the only one who was bothered by it. Even Hisao didn't seem to notice. I wanted to ask someone, but I couldn't help but worry about how the others would think of me for asking. It was a rock and a hard place.

The day ended, and Hisao left with Shizune and Misha. I remembered that I was looking for the library, so off I went.

I went to the second floor, only to find that none of the doors had signs on them. A small amount of panic clouded my mind as I walked along the corridors, looking for a sign or a hint that one of the identical doors led to the haven I sought.

Taking a risk, I opened a door. I was completely wrong. There were no books, all there was in the room was a blonde girl drinking tea.

"Hello?" she called out, not facing me.

"Sorry!" I blurted "Wrong room!"

I went to slam the door shut and run when the girl spoke again, her voice simultaneously calming and commanding "It's okay. Come in. Have a seat"

Against my better judgement, I complied, sitting across from her. Her gaze never changed, or even seemed to acknowledge my presence. I think she was blind.

"Are you blind?" the question left me before I had even thought that it might not have been very polite.

She seemed to take the question well "Why yes I am" she said with a wry smile.

"Sorry" I apologised "That was rude I...I'm um, not very good with this"

"It's quite alright" she smiled, taking a sip of her tea "Would you like some tea?"

A part of me just wanted to leave. To find the library and hide so I didn't screw up again. On the other hand...I really liked tea.

"Okay" I said after a moment.

So off she went, slowly, carefully but very deliberately making tea. To be honest I was expecting her blindness to be a hindrance, but she made it just as quickly as I would have. I guess I should probably revise my way of thinking.

"So," she said as she poured me my tea and sat back down "Are you new to the school?"

I took a sip of the tea. It was good "Yes"

"I'm Lilly Satou. Pleased to meet you"

I felt uncomfortable. I knew it was weird, but her sightless gaze unnerved me. Her polite demeanour was even more off-putting. I was certain I was doing something wrong. It was like waiting for a bomb to go off. I would do something rude or offend her somehow rude or offend her somehow and she would angry or snap or something "Uh, Smith Kaito. Kaito Smith" I spoke into my cup, incapable of looking her in the eye.

She nodded "Tell me, Kaito, which room were you looking for?"

"Library" I explained, my voice a little clearer that time.

"Which class are you in?" she asked.

"3-3. With...uh..." my mind went blank.

"Mutou?"

I nodded, only to realise that she couldn't see "Yeah"

She raised a hand to her mouth and giggled "He's quite the character. I imagine you'll come to like him; most do"

We sat in there in silence for a while, drinking our tea. Lilly didn't seem to mind the silence, which I like, but I still felt like I was walking on eggshells around her.

I had finished my tea by the time I had worked up the nerve to ask my question "Um, where's the library?"

She finished her tea upon her answer "Come. I'll show you. I need to meet with the librarian anyway. I'll introduce you"

A little surprised by the offer, all I could think of saying was "Okay"

Standing up (she was taller than I expected), Lilly drew a stick from her bag. It was one of those blind-man canes that they use to get around. With her leading, we made it to the library in no time.

The library was a big room, everything crafted from hardwood, from the counters to the bookshelves to the chairs. It was definitely bigger than my old school's library, and it definitely smelled older. I loved it. There weren't that many students present either, so it was quiet (which I also liked).

"Yuuko" Lilly called "Are you here?"

Something responded, a loud thud and groan coming from underneath the counter. A second later rose a young woman with red hair, green eyes and glasses.

"Hi, Lilly" The woman said in a pained voice, rubbing the back of her head "How can I help you?"

"Good afternoon" Lilly said "What happened just now? I heard a strange sound"

"It's nothing" she responded "I just hit my head. See, I dropped an eraser under my desk and while I was looking for it a pencil dropped and when I was looking for both of them you came and surprised me"

"Are you alright?" Lilly's voice was full of concern "I'm sorry, I couldn't know-"

"It's okay!" The librarian interrupted her "It's okay. Sorry for making you worry. This is nothing, I've had worse happen to me"

Sheesh, and I thought I was neurotic.

The librarian chuckled a little awkwardly, shuffled some papers (which was also awkwardly loud in the silence) before speaking again "Oh, Lilly! Did you get my message?"

Lilly had to think for a moment before answering "You mean the two imported books that arrived?"

The librarian flashed her first smile. She actually had a nice smile "Right! Right! They finally came! I can't believe it took so long, but..." she stopped speaking as she seemed to notice me for the first time.

"Um...Hi"

She yelped as if I had yelled at her "Oh, I'm sorry for not noticing you before! Did you need to check out a book? Or return? I'm sorry!"

My voice fumbled to make a response "Uh..."

"He's with me" Lilly spoke "Yuuko, this is Kaito, a new student. Kaito, this is Yuuko, the school librarian"

"Hi" I said again

"Kaito" Yuuko said if she were committing my name to memory "Right. Kaito. Pleased to meet you, Kaito" she bowed in greeting.

"Yuuko often arranges to import foreign books in Braille for me" Lilly said to me, before speaking to Yuuko "Would you like to tell Kaito a little something about the library?"

Yuuko gave her a look of terror, which I could sympathise with "I...please Lilly, I can't. I don't know what he could be interested in. This is too much responsibility"

I was starting to relate to Yuuko the more I saw her fluster and panic. Not wanting to put her through any more stress, I just said "Books" and left to peruse the aisles.

The library was definitely bigger than it looked at first glance. I was trying to memorise the way I came just so I didn't get lost, but I was inevitably lost in the sea of books.

I loved to read, written words anyway. They were simpler to understand. I was at peace here. A library was a library after all, no matter how much Braille you put into it. Libraries were familiar. Familiar was good.

I eventually found myself in a quiet corner of the library, where I found someone I actually recognised: the dark-haired girl from class. The one that snuck out. She was reading a book, keeping it really close to her face. I found myself drawn to her.

Finding another beanbag, I sat down and laid all the books I had collected beside it. The girl jumped, looking up at me from underneath her fringe which fell over her face.

Her eyes reminded me of a deer that I once saw: Big, round and absolutely terrified. I found myself subconsciously rubbing the scar on my head. I didn't mean to scare her.

"Sorry!" I quickly said "I didn't mean...Sorry"

"It...It's okay" the girl said

"Can I..." I tried to form my question "I mean is it okay if I stay, um, sit here?"

She stared at me a little, her expression relaxing only in the slightest way "Oh...Okay"

I gave her a small smile as thanks "I, um...I'm Kaito"

"I...I know" she said "We...are in the same...same class. H-H-Hanako. I'm...Hanako"

I nodded and started to read, only to be side-tracked by a detail on the back of Hanako's hand.

She had scars. Different from mine, maybe burns, like those in the pictures we saw when we were taught about fire safety in school. I found them mesmerising. Peculiar patterns burned into her skin. I gave her another look, she had similar burns on her face as well, hidden under her fringe.

It's only when I met her eyes that I realised I was making her uncomfortable.

"Why did you leave class?" I blurted out the question without thinking.

She stood up like she'd been shocked and said "Ivegottogodosomething!" and ran. A full-blown sprint in the direction of the door.

I cursed my blunder and went to go follow, determined to apologise. But by the time I reached the counter she was long gone.

Lilly and Yuuko were still talking, although it seemed that Hisao had arrived and joined the conversation.

"Did you see her?" I asked them in-between pants.

"Huh?" The three of them turned to look at me.

"A girl" I panted "Did you see her pass?"

"Um, maybe" Yuuko said "What did she look like?"

"Dark hair. Kinda shy. She had burns or something on her face"

Lilly just sighed "You wouldn't be talking about Hanako, would you?"

I nodded "I saw her reading. I...I tried to talk to her but I...I scared her"

"Oh dear" Lilly sighed "Yuuko, would you excuse me, I had better try and find her"

"Sure" Yuuko nodded "I'll just hold on to these until you come back"

"Um," Hisao spoke "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry," Lilly said "But I'll have to explain some other time"

"Right" Hisao looked a little confused, and maybe a little dejected "I'll see you later then"

Lilly quickly grabbed her cane and rushed out of the door, leaving us with Yuuko.

"I don't think I'll ever get the hang of this place" Hisao sighed

"What do you mean?" Yuuko asked

"Everyone here's a little..." Hisao seemed to struggle to find the word.

"Different?" I suggested

"Strange?" was Yuuko's

Hisao just shrugged with a defeated exhale. "I don't know how to live here and deal with these people. Forcing myself to act overly casual only makes me feel phoney"

I could sort of understand his frustration. I hadn't spent that much time around others with special needs either, but then again I wasn't a very sociable person to begin with. My skills were always lacking.

"It's like..." Hisao continued, making vain gestures with his hands as if they would better explain his problem "It's like I'm meant to ignore the elephant in the room"

Yuuko fidgeted a little, as if she wanted to speak, but was nervous to do so. Her voice came quietly, but the words didn't hold any less truth "I think it's only an elephant if you feel that way"

I smiled at her. She was a little wiser than her demeanour would have you believe.

She blushed "What? Did that sound stupid?"

"It was smart" I said

"I guess the problem lies with me then" Hisao calmly admitted.

Silence followed, only broken by Yuuko shuffling the papers around on the desk. An oddly relaxing noise.

"Did you find any books?" she asked me "I should be closing soon. I mean this library should be closing, have to do it. I hope that's not too inconvenient for you"

"I, uh..." I looked back to the bookshelf maze, knowing that my books had been left somewhere within. Another day maybe "No"

Hisao quickly went to get a pile of books. The day was late so we returned to the dorm together. We ran into Kenji in the corridors, or rather he ran into us. His head darted back and forth, as if he was expecting something bad to happen.

"Hey," Hisao spoke "It's just us"

Kenji licked his lips nervously "Who is "us"? I don't know anyone called "us". Are you some new guy again?"

"We met yesterday" Hisao reminded him, sharing a befuddled look with me. My own expression wasn't very different.

"I don't think so," Kenji said adamantly "I would remember someone who I only met yesterday. What day is it?"

"Thursday, I think?" I said. I admittedly had lost track of the days as well.

Kenji ignored me "Prove that we've met before!"

"You live across the hall" Hisao said "You're Kenji"

Kenji jumped back, his look fearful "How to do you know? Are you a spy?"

Now I was very confused. I was trying to keep, I honestly was. But I was losing track of the conversation's pulse, and thus interest. So I left, leaving Hisao to deal with Kenji alone.

"Where are you going?" Hisao called after me.

"My room" I explained. Then I closed the door.

As I went to bed that night, Hanako's face remained in my mind.

Tomorrow, I said to myself. Tomorrow I'll apologise.


	4. Proper Introductions

**"An apology is the superglue of life! It can repair just about anything!"  
** Lynn Johnston

* * *

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. I upset a girl. Her name is Hanako. I'm going to apologise today.

* * *

I was tired. I woke up early today. I wanted to remember Hanako. I even drew her in a sketch. Was that weird?

She came in ten minutes later than everyone else. I was confused why no one thought it was weird, but I wasn't going to ask. The question upset her so I wouldn't ask her.

The teacher spoke again. We were to work in groups. Hisao, Misha and Shizune again it seemed.

Shizune and Misha were talking to Hisao about something. I wasn't really paying attention, rather I was looking around the classroom and trying not to stare at Hanako for too long. I didn't want to scare her.

I was thinking, trying to rehearse my apology:  
~~Hi, I'm Kaito~~. No, she knows who I am.  
Hi, Hanako I-

"Kaito?" came a voice. It was Misha "What are you doing?"

"Hanako" I said without thinking.

"What about Hanako?" she asked.

"She's alone"

"Do you feel sorry that she's alone?"

"Yeah. Can she work with us?"

"No" her voice was surprisingly final "I don't think that would be a good idea"

"Why not?"

"Shicchan wouldn't get along with her"

That seemed mean, so I asked again "Why not?"

Misha laughed again, which I thought was inappropriate, even if it was thankfully quieter than usual "Just because, Kaito"

"That's not an answer" I protested.

Shizune and Hisao seemed to have had taken notice at that point, with Shizune signing her opinion "What Shicchan?" was Misha's reaction ""The friend of my enemy is my enemy"? That sounds so harsh. I'm not going to say that"

"You said it anyway" Hisao noted.

"I know" Misha smiled for some reason before translating Shizune's next sentence "We should start answering the problems now"

So they got back to work. I did try to help out this time, although I still only managed the smallest contribution.

As class ended for lunch Shizune and Misha broke into an argument about good places for lunch, I saw Hanako still sitting in her chair. She was staring at the open door as if she expected something, or someone.

This was my chance. I got up and marched over "H-Hi, Hanako"

"Kai...Kaito?" she reacted like I had just dropped out of the sky.

I stood there, my mind having gone blank from my nerves "I...uh..."

Hanako didn't even blink, her violet eyes locked with mine in an awkward staring contest.

"Sorry!" I finally said, a little bit louder than I meant to say it but I said it. She flinched at the sound of my voice "I'm sorry I scared you. I, uh, didn't mean to"

"It's, uh...It's-"

"I mean, I'm new and I'm not very good with people and I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable and..." I stopped to take a breath only to lose my train of thought (what little there was anyway). I hung my head in shame "I'm sorry"

"It's...It's okay" Hanako said "It...It was my fault"

"No" I shook my head "it was mine. I'm sorry"

She kept staring at the door. "Are you waiting for someone?" I asked.

"Y...Yes..." she nodded "Lilly"

"Lilly?" My brain strained to remember her "The blonde blind one?" A nod was my response. "You're...friends?"

"Y-Yes" She started fidgeting again. I was making her nervous again.

"I'm weird" I hung my head "I don't mean to make you nervous"

"N-No," she shook her head "That's not it. It's easier if Lilly doesn't come here"

"Why?"

"It's...uh..." she started to speak, her gaze looking past me and into the direction of Shizune.

"Shizune?"

She nodded.

""The friend of my enemy is my enemy"" I muttered, remembering the girls words "They're enemies?"

She shook her head. Was that meant to be a yes or a no?

"Hey, Lilly" came Hisao's voice. Hanako and I both looked to the door. Lilly had arrived. Hisao had already moved to go speak with her.

"Hello, Hisao" she nodded at the boy.

Hanako was so quick in moving to the blonde's side she was a blur "Lilly" she smiled.

"Ah, Hanako. Good morning" Lilly smiled "Shall we be off?"

"Um...Hi, Lilly" I said as I made my way over.

"My my, is that Kaito as well?" she responded.

"Uh, yes" I spoke, still trying not to make eye contact.

"It's good to speak to you. How are you today?"

"Um, good. I, uh, spoke to Hanako. Said sorry"

She nodded, her expression pleased "Excellent"

"Um...Lilly" Hanako lightly tugged on the other girls sleeve.

Lilly nodded in acknowledgement "Okay then. I'm sorry Kaito, Hisao, but we must be off"

"Mind if I accompany you two?" Hisao asked.

Lilly smiled "I'm sure that we could accommodate you. Can't we, Hanako?"

Hanako looked at Lilly and then at Hisao, her eyes wide "S...Sure"

"Can I come?" I asked, before hurriedly adding "It's okay if I can't I mean it's already the three of you so I'd understand if-"

Lilly cut me off, her words being much clearer than mine "Of course. The more the merrier, right Hanako?"

Hanako still looked uncomfortable "Okay"

"Are you sure? I mean I know I'm not the best company-"

"You're fine" Lilly assured me. "Shall we go?"

A part of me still felt bad for speaking up. Hanako looked like she was about to have a heart attack. But I had been accepted. Saying no now would have just been weird.

So off we went, all four of us together. Hanako practically clung to Lilly as they walked. Lilly didn't seem to mind though. She was nicer than I had feared, it seemed.

We went around a corner when something sped past me and ploughed into Hisao, knocking him flat. Hanako shrieked a little, and even I made a little involuntary noise.

"Ouch" Hisao groaned.

The thing that hit him was a girl. She was short, with lightish brownish hair, green eyes and a PE uniform. She also had two fake legs. Despite that though, the girl bounced to her with alarming speed.

"Aw man..." she spoke as quickly as she moved (really fast) "Hey, are you alright? I'm sorry about that, really! I wasn't looking where I was going, and you just came out of nowhere. Sorry...Sorry!"

Hisao smiled with a pained grimace as he rubbed his chest with his hand "Don't worry about it...ow" He went quiet for a moment, the look on his face painful and reddening.

"Hey," the girl spoke "Should I get a nurse?"

Hisao's face relaxed "No need. I'm fine"

"You looked sore" I noted.

The other boy steadily rose to his feet and took a deep breath "I said I'm fine. Nothing's broken. No harm done"

"That's good!" the girl sighed.

"What happened?" Lilly asked the air "Kaito? Hisao?" She sounded worried.

Of course, she was blind. She didn't see anything. "Someone ran into Hisao" I explained "Looked sore"

"I'm just winded" Hisao said "Nothing serious"

"Err, sorry, it's my fault" the stranger apologised "I was just going to get some stuff, and I was in a kind of a hurry"

"That "someone" is Emi, isn't it?" Lilly asked.

The girl coughed quietly and shuffled a little awkwardly in one spot "Hi, Lilly, Hanako"

"Do please try to be more careful" Lilly's tone reminded me of one of my old teachers "You might be sturdy enough to endure these sorts of accidents, but there are people who aren't"

"I know that!" The girl (sorry, Emi) spoke like a scolded child "I was just...Ah! I gotta go! Teacher'll have my head. I promised to help with printouts but I went running instead! Sorry, but I've gotta change and everything!" and like that she was gone, and the hallway was silent once more.

"She's fast" I broke the silence.

"Does that kind of thing happen often around here?" Hisao asked Lilly.

"There are more rules in Yamaku than usual for running in corridors" she explained with a sigh "But that rarely stops Emi, it seems. I don't think there's anything we can do to stop her, I'm afraid. Shall we be off then?"

Thankfully, nothing else happened as we walked along. We eventually came to the room where I had first met Lilly. She explained that she often had lunch with Hanako there. I liked it. It was quiet. I liked quiet, at least the peaceful kind.

Lilly poured us tea and we all sat down. We all sat differently; Lilly sat straight, her closed and face relaxed, Hisao was slouched with hands clasped with a look of deep thought, Hanako stared at the table and still enough to be mistaken for a statue. I could see her scars underneath her fringe. I was fascinated by them, but I was trying really hard not to stare.

"Sorry" I said, breaking the silence once again.

Hanako's gaze rose to look at me, but it was Lilly who responded "Whatever for, Kaito?"

"We're new. We're different. Change. I know it's a bit...weird" I was trying to apologise to Hanako. I had the feeling that if Hisao and I weren't there, she'd be a lot more relaxed.

"Don't be silly, Kaito" Lilly smiled "Hanako and I are happy to have the both of you today. Isn't that right, Hanako?"

Lilly nodded as if the matter was settled, then starting to speak to Hisao "How are you faring in Yamaku, Hisao? You seemed a bit flustered before?"

"Apart from getting lost every now and then, and being crash-tackled outside my classroom? Fine, I guess..."

"You...You looked pretty hurt before" Hanako noted "Are you really...okay?"

Hisao went quiet for moment "...Yeah, it's nothing. I was just a bit startled"

"Are you sure?" I asked. I felt there was a bit more to it than that.

"Yes" Hisao's tone was pretty certain.

I nodded, my attention already diverted by my teacup. It made a funny noise when I ran my finger around its rim. It didn't seem like much time had passed before the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch.

"I guess I'd better be off" Lilly said as she packed away her lunch "Are you going to go with Hisao and Kaito, Hanako?"

Hanako looked like a deer in the headlights, but she said "Y-Yes"

"We should hurry then" Hisao nodded "Class has already started by the sound of it"

So the four of us walked out together, stopping at class 3-2 for some reason (no wait, never mind, it was Lilly's classroom) "Hisao, Kaito, thank you for sharing lunch with us today" she said.

"It was a pleasure, Lilly" Hisao responded.

"Yeah" I added.

Lilly went inside, leaving the three of us alone. Hanako looked like she was ready to run in the opposite direction.

"Let's go" I said.

"Do you really want to go back to class now?" Hisao asked Hanako.

"Y-Yes" she said.

"Good" I smiled "Let's go"

It seemed like we  _were_ late. Mutou opened his mouth to say something, but then his gaze landed on Hanako and he just nodded instead, going back to speaking to the class.

Hanako was weird. Everyone seemed to ignore, even the teachers.

Eventually the day ended, and I left class not really knowing what to do with myself. With nothing else to do, I went to the library and stayed there until closing time.

I never saw Hanako, which I thought was weird. And maybe a little disappointing, although I don't know why I would feel that.


	5. Pitching In

**"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another"  
** Charles Dickens

* * *

I woke up a bit earlier than usual today. I worked on my sketch a little before heading out for breakfast. I ran into Hisao (not literally, of course) along the way. He was dressed in some kind of sports attire and he looked red in the face.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

"Went for a run" he explained, passing me and going into his room.

I decided to leave him alone, so I went off to get my breakfast.

* * *

I was the second person to arrive to class that day, Hisao being the first. He was resting in his seat, face-down on the desk.

"What happened to you?" I asked for the second time that day.

Hisao's head shot up to look at me, briefing looking like he was about to kill me. He stared at me long enough to make me worried before his expression deflated as he sighed "It's been a long morning" as if that explained everything. "I just had to deal with Kenji"

"Who?"

Hisao gave me a weird look, which gave me the impression I should know who Kenji was. "Kenji. Lives in 117? Thick glasses? Wears a scarf? Is a complete conspiracy nut?"

I shook my head. I still didn't remember, although now I could understand why Hisao looked frustrated. Conspiracy theorists were an annoying bunch.

So I sat at my desk, the chair next to him. Hisao's head drooped as if he was napping, leaving me to my own devices until class started.

I was tracing my around a knot in the desk when I heard a noise in the doorway. "Excuse me" It was Lilly "Is there anyone here?"

"Good morning, Lilly" Hisao said, his head shooting up.

"Hi Lilly" I waved.

Lilly almost jumped in surprise "Hisao? Kaito? Good morning. I didn't hear you earlier"

"Hisao was napping" I explained "I was...distracted. Never saw you"

"You didn't have to tell her that" Hisao grumbled as he tried to tame his messy hair which had only gotten worse from his nap.

"Have either of you seen Hanako today, by any chance?" she asked, entering the classroom.

"No" Hisao shook his head "She seems to come in just before the bells ring. Or after that"

"Do you want us to take a message?" I asked her.

"No, it's fine" Lilly smiled "It's strange, but I think we're the only three people in the school right now"

"I shouldn't have gotten up so early then" Hisao sighed.

"You're chastising yourself for doing something that other people should?" Lilly arched an eyebrow as she spoke "Punctuality is a good thing. It's a very busy morning today. The festival is coming up soon, and today is the deadline for event registration, budget reports and any other official paperwork. It could be that everyone is trying to complete the necessary form at the last minute. Maybe that's why it's so quiet today"

The door was flung open with a massive SLAM followed by an ear-splitting "Hi, hi!"

"Misha" I grumbled.

"Hi boys!" Misha called to us, Shizune unsurprisingly standing behind her.

"Hey" we both said hello at once in a monotonous grunt.

Shizune signed something once she noticed Lilly. "Look, it's the class representative! Hello!" Misha translated with a smile.

"Good morning" Lilly smiled.

Shizune made a smug face "Of course, you're not the representative of this class, right? Right?"

"I'm not" she agreed, although there was a harsher tone to her voice. Enemies indeed.

"You're here early, Shizune" Hisao noted.

"You were here even earlier than us!" was the reply. Misha then started speaking again as Shizune turned to Lilly "Class rep! It's a good thing you're here! We have to talk. The festival is coming up in three days, right? Every other class has already handed in their projected budget reports for their events. Even the first-years! Except you! Wahahaha!"

"There's still time to hand it in, isn't there?" Lilly responded.

"Today! The deadline is today! You're certainly taking your time, aren't you? If I had it my way, I'd have all the necessary paperwork days ago, but someone had to say "the deadline, please extend it!""

"Yes, that was me" Lilly admitted "Planning something on this scale is not a small task, and a week is too small a time-frame to expect a whole class to work out such a complex issue completely"

"Do you want to know what's harder than distributing the funds for class event? Handling the same matter for every class in the school and then some! The one who does that is me!" Misha seemed to get more and more emotional as she signed, as if she and Shizune had some kind of psychic link.

"Hey, Shizune, aren't you being a little too hard on her?" Hisao spoke up "There's still a whole day left"

"Please, Hisao. It's alright" Lilly sighed before addressing Shizune again "If this is about the budget then I'm disappointed you think I have forgotten about it. I understand how important it is"

"The can I have it, please?" Misha demanded on Shizune's behalf.

"I don't think she has it" I said "Not right now, anyway"

"Indeed it's not" Lilly nodded "I asked two students to take care of it for me. Students from  _my_ class" She put a weird amount of emphasis into her words there.

It were possible, Shizune's frown got even bigger "It was  _your_ responsibility! A budget report isn't something you should just be delegating away; as class rep, it's your job to be on top of things! This kind of disregard for proper procedure is really just terrible!"

 "They completed it, being capable of doing so, but the students have been sick recently, so they could not come to school and give it back to me" she explained "If you want, I will apologise on their behalf for getting sick"

"Okay!" Misha smiled.

Shizune on the other hand just seemed to get angrier. It had gotten to a point where Misha's tone no longer suited the words she was translating "Lilly, don't they live here at the school? That's a five-minute walk, you know. What could they possibly have that prevents them from taking five minutes out of their busy lives to drop off something that will affect the enjoyment of their entire class?"

Lilly tried to speak but Shizune, who as this point was signing at such speeds that even Misha seemed to have trouble keeping up, interrupted her "And what' with that attitude? I said that it's not something you should be delegating away. Are you the class representative or aren't you? Tell me the names of those two students, they should have your job if you can't even handle something this simple yourself"

"One form isn't the full extent of what I am supposed to take care of" Lilly retorted.

Shizune smiled then, although it wasn't a very warm smile "Of course, you do so much as class rep. It must be  _so_ difficult being you"

It was amazing how the blank stare of a blind person could feel so cold and piercing. Lilly's face remained very neutral, but her voice was suddenly very...not "I was actually just discussing the budget reports before you came by. You must be very talented to have finished all your student council duties so quickly that you can track me down to make sure I don't forget my own"

I was pretty sure that was meant to e sarcasm, but I don't really know. Shizune seemed to take it as such "Are you accusing me of slacking off? It seems you're confusing me with yourself!"

"I don't think so. That would be a very difficult thing for me to do; comparing myself to you"

"You're right. The difference between us is like heaven and hell"

"And it's not hard to guess which on you might represent"

Burn.

Even Misha seemed to realise that she was in the middle of a full-blown argument for her smile had wavered.

"Hicchan! Kaito! Don't you slack off either!" Wait, what?

"What are you talking about?" Hisao seemed just as confused as I was.

"Aren't you taking part in the festival? You are, aren't you? The both of you? Then I hope you're going to do a lot more to make sure it goes smoothly than  _this_ person!"

"We just got here!" I spluttered, unsure how to deal with this sudden dump of responsibility.

"It's not like we could do much, even if we wanted to" Hisao protested.

"That's right," Lilly seemed to be supporting us "You shouldn't expect transfer students to jump right into this on their first week"

"Yeah" Hisao nodded "You're being unreasonable with us all"

Shizune signed with a frown "Excuses, excuses. Miss Class Rep has had plenty of time to deal with her report" She pointed at Hisao with such force it was like she was trying to impale him with her finger "And  _you_ have been repeatedly offered a place to help with the student council work, but you have refused to commit to making the festival a success"

"Yeah," Hisao argued "But as I said back then, I'm not sure if-"

"Enough!" I barked with hands on ears "I have a headache!"

Hisao sighed "Fine" before speaking to Lilly "Lilly, class is going to be starting soon, so we can talk more later. I'll tell Hanako you were looking for her"

"Thank you, Hisao" she nodded "I'll leave now then". And with the warmest smile I'd ever seen on her face, she left.

Shizune's glare, on the other hand, chilled my blood.

* * *

Hanako never came to class that morning.

When the final bell rang, Shizune and Misha finally deigned to speak to Hisao and I.

"Uhhh! I'm so tired!" Misha complained.

"Festival preparations must be tough for you" Hisao said.

Shizune scoffed before signing "Well of course. We're in the Student Council you know, so we're pretty busy. It's an important duty of ours, to ensure the success of the festival with all our strength. We would shame ourselves in front of the last Student Council generations if the festival were to fail. That's why there be no flaws, no...err...I think that was incumbrances (Misha muddled up her signs there), no nothing that might make the festival short of perfect"

Anything else she may have said fell on deaf ears. I had just seen Hanako appear at the door.

Misha noticed as well, reacting with "Hey! Playing a delinquent again?" She might have been trying to be funny, but I didn't really find it amusing. All she succeeded in doing was making Hanako blush and try and hide behind the doorframe.

"Hi, Hanako" I smiled to try and put her at ease "What's up?" 

"H...Has Lilly been here?" she asked.

"Sorry, haven't seen Satou" Misha shrugged "She uh, came by in the morning though"

Shizune was starting to irritate me, She just kept staring at Hanako. Did she not realise that she was making the girl uncomfortable?

"Do...Do you know where she is?" Hanako asked, her voice trembling.

Shizune pouted as she signed "If she has any sense in her head, she's in her classroom, working on their festival project. But who knows where that woman is loitering at"

"You need to find her?" Hisao seemed to be ignoring Shizune "She was looking for you this morning, but I guess you must have missed each other"

"Y...Yeah"

"Let's go" I said, moving to the door "We can find her together"

"I'll come too" Hisao joined me "If that's okay"

Hanako gave a little nod of her head, which we took for a yes.

"It's dinnertime soon. Were you planning to eat with Lilly?" he asked her.

She nodded. I could understand why she'd feel she needed Lilly for dinner. The cafeteria was more crowded during lunch, but dinner still had a large crowd and it lasted even longer.

So the three of us left together. Hisao and I had to slow down so Hanako wouldn't be behind. I was enjoying myself, but I was a little saddened that Hanako kept as far from us, from me, as possible. I guess she still wasn't very comfortable with us yet.

We checked the cafeteria. the crowd had shrunk a little, but Lilly was nowhere to be seen. Hanako seemed to shrink even further into herself, which didn't really help her already diminutive frame.

"We'll find her" I assured her "Where else would she be?"

"N-Not sure" she admitted "I was reading...in the library"

"I like the library too" I smiled.

"If I had to guess, she'd be in her own class like Shizune said" Hisao theorised "Right?"

"R-Right" Hanako nodded.

So we made our way up there. I was content with the silence. Hisao, on the other hand, was trying to make small talk "So you and Lilly usually hang out together after class, right?"

"Y-Yes"

"Must be a pain being in different classes, I'm guessing"

She nodded "Lilly...comes by the classroom, though. Even when she's busy..." she spoke with a small smile. I thought it was cute.

"That's nice of her" I noted.

As we climbed the stairs, a group of students passed us. They kept to themselves, but Hanako still hid herself from them, staying close to me since I was taller.

"You okay?" I asked her.

"J-Just keep going..." she whispered.

Even after they were gone she didn't move away, not even as we climbed to the third floor. I thought I was shy, but I was beginning to realise Hanako's anxiety was on a completely different level.

When we got to Lilly's classroom we were met by an overwhelming amount of noise. I made an uncomfortable grunt in the back of my throat.

"What's up with you?" Hisao asked me.

"Lot of noise in there" I grumbled.

"Can't be helped" he shrugged "At least we know there's a good chance she's in there".

Hisao opened the door. I prepared myself for the noise, while Hanako seemed to take cover behind me. Inside was a chaotic bundle of activity, everyone running around working on their own separate tasks. The noise was deafening.

"They must be working on the festival stuff" Hisao wondered aloud, although how I heard him over the noise of everyone else confounded me.

Where was Lilly? Hisao pointed at something, so I guess he found her.

Upon reflection, she wasn't that hard to find; her blonde hair made her stand out and everyone seemed to come and go from her like she was in charge. We had to carefully weave our way through the crowd to make our way to her.

"Hi, Lilly" Hisao called out to her.

Lilly looked up, her head darted around to try and find the source of the voice "Sorry, who..."

"It's Kaito and Hanako" I spoke up "That was Hisao"

"H-Hi"

Lilly nodded and turned to speak to another girl "For the moment, just ask Moriya for his advice. Kenji's busy with painting one of the banners already" before turning back to us "Sorry about that. Our class doesn't have many students with even partial eyesight, so they're in high demand"

"I love painting!" I blurted. Painting and other kinds of art was something I always did in the hospital to pass the time. The doctors always liked it when I did it, giving me whatever I needed. They said it improved my dexterity or something like that.

"We could always give a hand if you'd like" Hisao volunteered.

"Wanna' join us?" I turned to Hanako. I had a very large grin on my face. She nodded, and my smile got even bigger "Great!"

Lilly sighed with relief "Ah, that's good. This might actually get finished before everyone goes off to dinner now. Would you be able to help the person painting the main banner? It's a big task for him to do, but nobody else can help"

"Kenji? Sure" Hisao nodded.

Lilly looked surprised "I take it you've met?"

"We all have rooms next to each other. Hard to miss each other, really" he answered.

"Well, it's good to see you're making friends so fast" she smiled.

Hisao's next smile looked forced and grim "Sure. Friends"

"Isn't he the conspiracy nu-" I started to ask, only for Hisao to silence me with his elbow.

"Let's go help him" he spoke over me "He knows what he needs doing, right?"

"That's right," Lilly nodded "Just ask if you have any questions"

I practically skipped over to where Kenji and the banner were, now oblivious to the noise. Painting was one of my most absolute favourite things to do. Painting was familiar. Familiar was good.

We found Kenji, staring at his banner with intense concentration while he worked. "Hey, Kenji" Hisao greeted with only about half the enthusiasm.

"What's up man?" Kenji sprung to his feet "What're you doing here?"

"We're here to help with the banner" I explained, my foot restlessly goes tap-tap on the tiled floor.

"Who's "we""

"Kaito, Hanako and me" Hisao elaborated.

"H...Hello..." Hanako said hello, coming out from behind me.

"Oh..." Kenji's looked a little suspicious "I guess that's okay"

We all knelt down around the banner. It read "Class 3-2 Noodle Stand".

"You guys selling noodles at the festival?" Hisao asked, seemingly intent on making conversation.

"Yeah, some stalls outside. Or something" was Kenji's answer.

"Can we start now?" I asked. I was a bit eager, as you could see.

"How do you want to split this?" Hisao asked Kenji "We do the borders and you do the text? Or do you want t swap and do the borders?"

"Text is mine. You do borders" Kenji said pretty firmly.

 And like that, we got to work. I was loving it. I lost myself in the work, deaf to all that surrounded. It didn't feel like much time had passed before I felt the slightest tap on my arm. It was Hanako, of all people.

"What?" I asked, coming off a little harsher than I had intended. I couldn't really help it. I wanted to keep painting.

"F...Finished" she said quietly.

I looked down at the banner, properly I mean. It was true, everyone had finished. If I had painted any more I would have ruined the pattern "Oh. Sorry".

I rose to my feet, helping Hanako up the process. I caught sight of the scar on the back of her hand. It ran up her wrist as well. How far did it go? I wondered.

She quickly covered her wrist with her other hand. I must have been staring again. "Sorry" I apologised.

"Looks good, doesn't it?" Hisao smiled, staring down at the banner.

"It does...I guess" Hanako said.

"It looks great" I smiled at her.

She smiled back. It was a small smile, but I liked it.

We went back to Lilly. "We finished the banner" Hisao announced "I guess that's all that needs to be done?"

"Yes" Lilly nodded "Thank you Hisao, all of you. If there's any way I can thank you..."

"It's fine" Hisao shrugged "Beats sitting in my room studying at any rate"

"I love painting" I said.

"I don't mind either" Hanako spoke, her voice now clearer due to a significant lack of people in the classroom now.

Lilly nodded. "Is Kenji still here?"

"Yeah, just finished!" He called from across the classroom, before leaving his finished work to dry and leaving. It wasn't long before it was only me, Hanako, Hisao and Lilly left.

"I guess that's everyone" Hisao noted the obvious.

"I hope we don't have to do anything like that again" Lilly sighed.

"But painting's lots of fun" I complained.

"I think she means working late" Hisao corrected me "Right?"

"Indeed" She nodded "The class's plans this year were ambitious. Maybe too ambitious"

"The stalls look nice, though" Hanako spoke. I agreed with her with a hearty "Yeah!"

"My my," the blind girl smiled "I'm sure a lot of us would be glad to hear that. At least now there's not much work to do until the festival itself"

"Umm..." Hanako spoke up again "It's getting pretty late. Should we go?"

"That's probably a good idea" Lilly nodded "Are you going back to the dorms as well, boys?"

"May as well" I yawned.

"Guess we'll tag along" Hisao shrugged.

I was never fond of the dark, but the walk between the school building and the dorms was quite calm and relaxing with company. The only sounds to hear was our footsteps and the tapping of Lilly's cane.

Hisao yawned. "Tired?" Lilly asked him.

"Yeah" he admitted. "Still getting used to the flow of things, I guess. The uh...thing with Shizune was a little...uh..."

"Annoying" I suggested.

"Surprising" Hisao said instead.

"I'm sorry about it being so public" Lilly sighed "Shizune and I...go back some ways". Wow, I didn't think it was possible to be angered by words alone, but Lilly seemed to get irritated just by _saying_ Shizune's name. "I'll be glad once the festival is over, in any case"

"I can imagine" Hisao nodded "My old school's festivals were a lot more low-key than this"

I personally could not remember the festivals at my old school. I remembered lots of things, but not that. Did we even have festivals?

"Yamaku stresses the idea of a school community, so the staff likes to make our festivals and such special occasions" Lilly explained.

"So why do the kids have to do all the work?" I asked.

"It's an unfair world" Hisao said. The girls chuckled at his words. I wasn't quite sure what the joke was.

"I suppose coming from a strict all-girl's school helped me a bit with Yamaku" Lilly theorised "Compared to there, Yamaku is much more relaxed"

Eventually we came to the dorms and had to bid the girls goodbye.

"See you Lilly, Hanako" Hisao said.

"Bye" I gave a small wave.

The girls nodded in farewell and left. Hisao and I entered the boy's dorm, bid each other goodnight and went to sleep.

I slept like a rock.


	6. Plus One Friend

**"The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect"  
** Brene Brown

* * *

It was weird, but I was in class _before_ Hisao.

Class went on without much fuss, although Mutou stopped his lecture halfway through the speech as he remembered something: "So, as you know, the festival is on the day after tomorrow. I hope everyone's projects are going to be successful this year. Have a good time, but also come Sunday, please keep the meaning of this festival in your minds..."

"Games and fried food!" Misha called out. Everyone laughed at that.

"Yes, thank you Mikado" Mutou sighed "But what I meant was more the-"

The lunch bell rang and drowned out what remained of his sentence, so he gave up and went back to his seat.

I lost sight of Hisao on the way out, so I just decided to go back to my room. Without nothing better to do, I got back to working on my drawing. I only had a pencil to work with but I was happy with how it was going.

Hanako was an interesting subject. The monotone colours of graphite on paper actually suited her quite well. It brought out her pale skin and dark hair.

I was shading in the scars on the back of her hand when a question formed in my mind: What did her burns feel like?

The bell rang again, signalling the start of class, and my question was forgotten once again.

* * *

The day ending, I decided to visit the library. I found Hisao there, chatting with Yuuko.

"Hi" I greeted them.

Yuuko jumped a little "Kaito! Hello! I'm sorry, I never saw you there! How can I help you?"

I was still a little off-put by Yuuko's loud-ness and nerves, so it took me a while to form a reply "Uh...I'm just going to look for books"

"Me too" Hisao nodded, before turning to Yuuko again "We know where everything is. We'll be fine"

The pair of us set off into the aisles together. "Where you looking for anything in particular?" Hisao asked me.

"No. I was just looking around. I just like to be here sometimes"

"I know what you mean" he smiled "It's...quiet, isn't it" He eventually stopped and pulled a book from the shelves. "Well, this is what I was looking for" he waved it a little so I could see it "I'll see you later?"

"Sure"

And so he left, while I explored a little bit more. It seemed every time I went to the library I found an as-of-yet unexplored corner. I even came across a collection of books that had been translated into English, which I thought was a bit weird but cool. I could read English, courtesy of my dad, but it had felt like such a long time since I had last spoken it.

I thought back to my old home, to my parents. Growing up, I never really fit in very well. I was taller than everyone my age and my features were very not-Japanese. Even my name didn't seem to fit. Smith, an English name, not Japanese. My parents always told me to never feel ashamed about looking different. I was Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I had a bloodline that spanned the globe. The best of the west and the east. It was after that pep-talk I started to focus on things that I thought made me better. I was stronger than most people my age. I was fluent in two languages.

Then the accident happened, and I seemed to be back to square one. I was different again, more so than I had ever been before. A wave of sadness overcame me, so bad that I sank to the floor and sat there for a long time, staring at nothing, lost in my own little world.

"Um..." a quiet voice came to bring me out of my own mind. I looked up to find the source: Yuuko.

"Sorry, but I have to close the library" she spoke as if she was having her arm twisted "Are you okay?"

I stared at her for a while, not saying anything. She squirmed a little under my gaze. "I...don't really fit in anywhere" I finally said "I always looked a little different. After...this," I raised my fake hand, the fingers twitching as I tried in vain to form a fist "After this, I fit in even less. It just hit me that I don't really belong anywhere" I felt weird inside. I wasn't really sad anymore, but there was this feeling of, well, I guess I would call it "nothing" inside me. An empty feeling that wasn't really cold or warm, neither happy nor sad. Was that what being dead felt like?

"I..." Yuuko spoke slowly, as if she were afraid "I can't begin to understand what has happened to you in your life but...if you like...Yamaku can be a new start, a place to belong. No one here is really "normal", in the standard way of thinking, I guess"

Something she said resonated with me. I'm not sure why, but I felt better. I stood up, said "Thank you" and went back to my dorm. It was really late so I went to sleep

I slept very deeply that night. Memories of my parents filled my dreams.

* * *

The next day passed like normal. I seemed to be the only one who got a decent night's sleep The class was full dark baggy eyes and sluggish movements. Even Mutou looked more like a zombie than a teacher. He just scrawled something on the board and slumped into his chair.

Shizune and Misha weren't anywhere to be seen, which I thought was weird but I didn't complain. It was quiet. I liked it.

"Smith?"

A voice startled me out of my daydream "Huh?"

It was Mutou. "Outside, please?" he asked.

Irrational fear filled me as I followed him outside the classroom "Did I...Did I do something wrong?"

Mutou actually seemed surprised "Hmm? No. Nothing wrong"

I loudly exhaled with relief as he spoke some more "So, Smith, how are you?"

"Um, good?"

"I'm glad," he nodded "It's only been a week so I was worried that you hadn't settled in just yet"

"Well, I mean it's not all perfect yet but...I mean it's all still a little weird but...it's getting better"

I thought I was being a bit weird, but Mutou nodded like he understood me "I understand. Rest assured we will settle in. It may even feel like a second home in time. My second question: How are your studies? I know you were in hospital for a time. We're not too far ahead, are we?"

"Um, no. No, I think I can keep up"

He smiled at that. "Just remember that if you  _are_ having troubles, know that we have a support system to help you"

"Okay" I nodded.

"Well then," he smiled "Back inside, shall we?"

* * *

Class ended the way it started; quiet and with zero soul. The class sighed in unison and left in a massive zombie horde. Even Mutou couldn't wait to leave. All that was left was me, Hisao and Hanako.

Hisao was writing something down while Hanako just sat as if she was waiting for something (probably Lilly). I wasn't really going anywhere myself.

I had gotten myself distracted by the knot on my desk again and was doodling around it with my pencil, every now and then erasing and starting again. First it was the centre of a sun, then it was pupil of a massive eye, and so on and so forth. I'm not sure how much time passed, but when I looked up the classroom was empty. The others had gone.

So, with nothing else to do, I went to the library. I nodded a greeting to Yuuko before delving into the maze of books.

It wasn't actually that long before I found Hanako, taking seat in the beanbag opposite her. She looked at me like I had just fallen from the sky.

"Hi," I spoke "New book?"

"Y-Yes...I'm almost finished though"

"Cool" I smiled, before opening my own book "Can I have it? When you're done, I mean"

"S-Sure...You m-may not like it but..."

"Still want to check it" I assured her "Never judge a book by it's cover, and all that"

"I-I guess"

We sat in silence for what felt like for a long time, the only noise being when I had to rise and find a new book.

"So...Where's Lilly?" I asked upon my return.

Hanako jumped a little at the sound of my voice "Lilly said she had to go and...meet someone..."

"Hmm?"

"A-Akira. Her sister..."

"Lilly has a sister?"

"She...She and Akira used to live together"

"Older or younger?"

"Um, older"

More time passed before I spoke up again "Hey Hanako, are you...doing anything for this festival thing?" Hanako looked at me like she was about to run again "Sorry! I don't mean to scare you or anything it's just...I don't know what to do so I thought I'd ask you and-"

"I..." The sound of her voice silenced my rambling "I don't know"

My shoulders slumped a little "Yeah. I'm not good with crowds either"

The sunlight was fading when I felt my stomach start to growl. I couldn't actually remember the last I ate. "I'm hungry" I announced, rising from the beanbag "I'm going to find some food before bed. You want to come with me?"

Hanako shook her head "I think I-I'll finish this first"

"Okay," I nodded "Bye"

"Kaito" She quietly called out to me as I went to leave. I turned back "Th-Thank you," she smiled "F-For spending time with me" Her smile was this really warm thing, the warmest smile I've seen in a long time. Her eyes seemed to glow in the low light. They looked beautiful.

"You're welcome" I tried to return her smile with one of equal warmth "Good...Goodnight, Hanako"

"Night"

* * *

I did manage to find food before bed that night, thankfully, but my last thoughts before sleep overtook my mind were of Hanako.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I made a friend. Her name is Hanako.


	7. The Festival

**"There's only one thing more precious than our time, and that's who we spend it on"  
** Leo Christopher

* * *

I woke up late. It was almost noon when I got out of bed.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. I made a friend. Her name is Hanako.

There was a lot of noise outside my window that day. Looking out, I saw crowds of people milling around the courtyard. The festival was underway.

Emerging from my room, I found Hisao talking to Kenji "Hi" I waved.

"Who's that?" Kenji asked, his head jerking in my direction.

"It's just Kaito" Hisao explained.

"Have you seen all the people outside?" I asked them.

"Yeah," Hisao nodded "Guess the festival's in full swing"

"They're everywhere. People, outside my window. Socialising!" Kenji rubbed his temples, suddenly looking very ill "It's going to be so loud now. I was going to go out but now it's ruined, it's all ruined!" Okay, now he was starting to stress  _me_ out. He looked to Hisao, his voice only getting louder "You should have told me, man! I couldn't even brace myself and now it's here and I can't do anything about it. I mean, I could have known earlier! Imagine what I could have accomplished!"

"Sorry," Hisao didn't really look  _that_ sorry "I though you knew. So I guess you're not going to do anything today. You should at least check out the festival, at least"

"I don't know," I spoke up "I don't really like big crowds"

"Neither do I!" Kenji cried "I can't do it! They'll eat me alive out there!"

"Come on, guys" Hisao urged us "We all worked on that class project together, we may as well check that one out. I want to at least meet up with Lilly"

Well, I did like Lilly, so I just shrugged a "Okay".

"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Kenji voice shocked my ears "That blind broad is up to no good; I can feel it in my spleen, you guys. Her presence is like a dark shadow that's in the way of great vision. As expected of blind people"

Wait, what?

"What?" Hisao seemed just as confused as I was.

"Aren't  _you_ blind?" I asked.

"Only legally" he insisted (I didn't think their was a major difference, but I wasn't willing to argue the point) "Metaphorically, I can see further than any other man. I can see the future of mankind, and it's a dark one unless the threat of women is stifled"

"But women are great!" I argued. Hisao chuckled a bit there. Not sure why.

"And that is why you are doomed" Kenji's assessment seemed pretty final. He shrank behind his door again "I'm going to have to find someplace to hide in, a safe haven. And then I'll have to knock myself out so that I don't have to experience this horrible day". And just like that, the door was slammed in our faces and he was gone.

* * *

So with our paranoid friend-or-something-or-other gone, Hisao and I wound up exploring the festival.

The food was...meh, but it was cheap. There were lots of people that had to have just been visiting, given the ages ranged from toddlers to the elderly. The open air smelled of fatty fryers, salty soy sauce and about twenty other smells I couldn't figure out (they all sort of blended together into one big smell).

I wiped my brow "It's warm".

"Yeah," Hisao sighed "We better keep moving or else we cook"

We didn't get that much further, because it wasn't long we found the familiar banner of Lilly's class project. I didn't recognise the girl at the counter, but she looked like one more mistake away from a breakdown. We didn't even speak to her before Lilly came up and took her by the arm, whispered something to her and took her place.

"Sorry about that" The blind blonde sighed "We're having a few problems. What would you like?"

"Um...How about some miso soup?" Hisao asked.

"Chicken Noodle" I added "Um...Soup, I mean"

Lilly's eyebrows rose "Ah, is that Hisao? And Kaito, too?"

"Yep," Hisao nodded "You're looking pretty busy"

Lilly's face deflated as she sighed yet again "Somewhere along the line, our order got mixed up. We're trying to it now, but it looks like we only have half of what we needed"

"Wouldn't serving smaller portions cover the problem?" Hisao suggested.

"We may have to, though I wish we didn't. The fact that a good half of our class is gone doesn't help, either. Our had to leave to see if she can't round up a few more our classmates to help"

Being very aware of the queue forming behind us, I pulled a fistful of yen from my pocket "Some money for the soup"

"Soup...?" Lilly seemed confused for a moment before realising what her job was. "Oh, right. Coming right up" She called for a bowl of miso soup and chicken noodle soup as I handed her the money. It didn't take long before it was ready. "Thanks" I said.

"You're very welcome" she smiled. "Oh, one other thing" she called as we turned to leave "Have either of you seen Hanako?"

"Hanako?"

"Not today" Hisao answered "Why?"

Lilly sighed "It's nothing. I was just wondering what she was doing for the festival. You'll come back when you're done?"

We both a nodded a "yes", as well as promising to keep an eye out for Hanako.

* * *

By the time we came back, there were twice as many students working at the stand. I suppose Lilly's teacher managed to round up the class. That being said, Lilly didn't look any less stressed.

"Hey Lilly" Hisao smiled "Want to go see more of the festival?"

Lilly scowled, her cheeks puffing out "I can't see"

Hisao went pale as he stammered "Sorry, I-"

Lilly giggled. I guess she was teasing. "You're still not used to the school, are you?. I'm sorry, but I need to stay with the stall"

That seemed fair, although Hisao certainly didn't seem to be taking no for an answer "Everything seems to be running fine now, though. Besides, you've got more help now, right?"

"Go on Lils" said one of the boys standing behind the stall (one of Lilly's classmates I assumed) "You've earned a break. We can hold the fort for now"

"If you're sure..."

As Lilly grabbed her cane and moved to Hisao's side, my thoughts went to Hanako. I figured she was lonely, after all, Lilly was worried about her.

"I'll go find Hanako" I said "You guys have fun"

Lilly's brow furrowed "Are you sure? We can all go looking for Hanako together"

"You'd miss out. Go on. I never liked big crowds anyway. This place just stresses me out"

"Come one, Lilly" Hisao seemed to be agree with me "You've earned some time to enjoy yourself"

Lilly seemed to ponder it for a moment before sighing "Okay. Tell her I asked for her, okay?"

"Sure" I nodded and on my way.

I knew where she'd be.

* * *

Making my way through the labyrinthine maze of bookshelves, I came to the familiar sight of beanbags.

"Hi, Hanako" I smiled.

Her face was a surprised one as she peeked from over her book "K-Kaito?"

"Yep. Wanted to find you. Lilly was asking for you too"

"Oh" she was quiet for a second "Do you want to sit down?"

"Actually," my stomach growled, despite my recent soup "I'm feeling kinda hungry. Want to go get some food?"

Hanako shuffled uncomfortably in her beanbag "Um...I...I brought some food, so..."

"Okay" I vaguely pointed behind me "Tea room? I don't think anyone's there"

She nodded "S-Sure. Let's go" She swiftly put her book away and rose to her feet.

"Good to go?"

She nodded.

"Great" 

And so we were off, walking side-by-side. The whole hallway seemed to be devoid of life (I guess that was be expected, what with the festival on and all). Hanako held her bag in both hands, staring down at the ground in front of her. Her pace was uneven, every now and then she'd take a shorter step then and longer step. I looked to her feet: she was only stepping on the darker tiles.

"What are you doing?"

She stopped suddenly to look at me "W-What?"

"You're only stepping on the dark ones"

She blushed a little "It's uh...It's a...a game"

"A game?"

"Sometimes...when there's no one around...I only step on the darker ones"

"Cool," I smiled "I thought I was the only one that noticed"

"Noticed what?"

"The tiles being different colours. It was driving me mad"

She smiled at that. I found myself smiling too "Let's get moving" As we walked along, I found myself playing the game as well as I bounced from tile to tile. I think Hanako saw me. I think she was smiling.

The inside of the tea room wasn't as quiet as thought it would be (it was merely "quiet" and not "absolutely silent"), there was a window open. That being said, I didn't mind as much because there was a nice breeze coming through.

"Do...Would you like some tea?" Hanako asked me.

I nodded a "Yes please" and watched as she went to work to work; pouring tea and setting out sandwiches. She was calm, which I think was a first.

I spoke as she poured the tea "I like it here. It's quiet"

"I...I like it too" she said "It's like the world has forgotten this room, and b-because of that, you can forget about the outside"

I nodded because I think I understood what she meant. No one ever seemed to talk to her besides Lilly. Having a little haven to call your own must have had a little appeal.

"Do you..." her voice seemed really loud in the silence of the room, even though she was probably barely whispering "Do you play chess?"

"You mean like western chess?"

"Um...yes?"

"A little. I haven't played in a while though. Do you?"

"A little..." she went to a cupboard and pulled out a chess set "Do...Do you want..."

"Okay" I said brightly. I really liked chess.

It didn't take us long to set up the board, and before long we were playing. The rules and memories came to me while I played, resurfacing as I repeated age-old tactics on the little wooden board. It was a long game, with many losses of both sides. But eventually, the game had to come to its end.

"Checkmate" I announced, Hanako's king well and truly cornered "That was fun. You play pretty good" I was being honest as well.

Hanako had a little smile on her face "Thank you"

"Does Lilly play?"

"A...A bit. This is the first time I've played against someone...other than her, or..."

She stopped for some reason. I wanted to know what she was going to say, but I was afraid I'd ruin the moment. Instead, I decided to say "Well, this was nice. It was good playing with you"

Her gaze rose to look a me again, her smile back as well "Um...can we play again?"

"Sure" I tried to return her smile.

We were setting up the pieces when there was a noise at the door: It was Lilly and Hisao.

"Good afternoon" Lilly said.

"Hey guys" Hisao said.

"Hi" I greeted them without looking. My attention was on the chess pieces.

Hanako, on the other hand, just sat and smiled "Lilly"

"We decided that we wanted to see how you were" Lilly said "Have you been here since you left us, Kaito?"

"Pretty much. We were playing chess"

"Who won?" Hisao asked.

"I did" I answered, before realising just how boastful it sounded "But it was pretty close"

"K-Kaito was the better player" Hanako chimed in "Would you like some tea?"

"Actually," Lilly replied "I think it might be a good idea to go outside"

Hanako's smile dropped like a stone. I can't say I really wanted to go back to the festival either "Do we have to?" I whined.

"It's crowded here" Lilly said "I was thinking the four of us should leave the school and head to the local teahouse"

Hisao seemed to know what she meant "Oh, you mean that place where I met you and..."

"The S-Shanghai?" Hanako spoke.

"Of course" Lilly nodded "With everyone at the festival it should be practically empty"

Hisao nodded as well. I seemed to be the only one who didn't know what was going on "Shanghai?"

"It's a teahouse not that far from the school" Hisao explained "I ran into Lilly once there, it's pretty good"

"Hanako and I go there every so often" Lilly added.

Well, if they kept going back then I guess it couldn't be too bad "Okay"

"I think it'll be nice" Hanako spoke quietly "If it's the Shanghai"

"Well then, it's settled" Lilly nodded "Let's be on our way"

* * *

It was quiet as we left the school grounds, the crowd of strangers and schoolkids fading as we walked down the road into town.

"It's weird" Hisao broke the silence "I would have thought people would have started to leave by now"

"They're probably here to view the fireworks" Lilly suggested.

"Fireworks?" I asked

"Yes. Apparently the school puts on quite a show. A lot of people come from town just to watch them"

Hanako clung to Lilly's arm as we came closer to town, barely making a noise or move her gaze up from the ground. Lilly, on the other hand, looked as calm as ever. I'll admit, I kind of felt like how Hanako looked. Inside the school, everyone was "special" which made everyone seem normal in a weird way. Outside, you were once again a not-normal person in the normal world. Even the uniform kind of marked us as unusual. I felt as though people were going to stare, like they'd try and figure out what was wrong with us (with me), if it wasn't already obvious.

Fortunately, it was growing late so we didn't come across many normal people. The Shanghai, when we found it, looked normal enough on the outside. The inside was a bit more old-fashioned, with that paper/timber look to it. It was practically empty, which I liked.

"No one's here" I felt the need to say it aloud "Are they closed?"

There was a crash, like a chair falling over, before a familiar face popped into view "I wasn't asleep and welcome to the Shanghai!" It was Yuuko, dressed in some kind of waitress attire. Guess she had two jobs (sounded like some kind of hellish punishment). "Oh, Lilly? Hisao? Kaito? And Hanako?" she seemed surprised to see us "Welcome to the Shanghai!" She bowed, causing her glasses to fall off her face. Hisao, ever the gentleman, was quick to pick them up for her "Thank you"

Yuuko took a moment to clear her throat "Shall I show you to your table? There's no one else here so you can choose your table and order whatever you like, but there may be a delay as I will have to make it myself"

"It's alright, Yuuko" Lilly spoke like she was trying to calm the young waitress "Just a pot of black tea and a plate of sandwiches will be fine"

"Right!" Yuuko nodded "I'll get right on that!" She ran into the back room, only to pop her head back out the door "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please, sit wherever you like! I'll be right back!"

Hisao lead Lilly to the nearest booth, Hanako and I following close behind them. As we sat, I realised why Hanako might have liked the place: It was quiet, and the high-backed booths meant you quite, well, hidden away when you were seated. The seats were pretty comfy too.

"So, Kaito" Lilly said "I didn't know you played chess"

"Well" I shrugged "I'm not very good, but I can play. My dad's uh, well, he's British. He um...taught me the basics"

"You're half-British?" Hisao asked.

I nodded, which was easier than how my dad explained it. He would have gone into a long speech about how he was born to a Scottish man and a Welsh woman, with ancestors that stretched across most of the western world, from Ireland to Canada to even the US (It got very confusing).

"Haven't played since I came here, though" I smiled "Felt good"

"Y...Yes" Hanako seemed to agree with me "It did" She had her head down and she kept fidgeting with her hair, but I could have sworn I saw her smile.

Yuuko came clattering along with our order, looking pretty clearly overwhelmed. Hisao offered to give her a helping, but she seemed determined to do it herself. As a result, everything was kind of dropped onto the table with a crash. We were lucky nothing broke.

"Thank you, Yuuko" Lilly looked like she couldn't care less.

Yuuko bowed, obviously pleased with herself "You're very welcome"

"Would you like to join us?" Lilly offered "There's something else I'd like to discuss about that recent order, if I may"

"Ah, yes" Yuuko awkwardly took seat at the very edge of the booth "We didn't get the chance to go through them, did we? I'll be in the library tomorrow if you'd like to try again..."

"That sounds perfect. I'll meet you there after classes"

"Um..." Hanako spoke up "L-Lilly...?"

"Oh dear" The blind girl's face dropped "Tomorrow is Monday. How could I forget?"

"What's on Monday?" I was feeling a bit out of the loop.

I was ignored (of course) as Lilly seemed to think "Will you be in the library later in the week" she asked.

"Hmm, maybe, but this is already overdue"

"There are some...things I n-need" Hanako said

Lilly sighed "This might be a problem..."

"What's with Monday?" I asked again, a bit louder than before.

I seemed to get their attention as the three girls turned to look at me "Hmm, maybe we can enlist the help of others..." Lilly wondered aloud.

I was hopelessly confused. Hisao seemed to be as well "To do what?" he asked "You lost me quite some time ago"

Lilly answered his question, which in turn also answered my question "Oh, of course. The other day I was helping Yuuko sort the new braille books in the library. Hanako and I usually go shopping on the Monday afternoons due it being quieter on that day compared to the weekends, but we couldn't go last week because I was working on the festival. I managed to slip away later in the week, but Hanako couldn't make it"

"I'm sure Kaito can help you out there" Hisao volunteered me, giving me a subtle nudge with his arm "Right, man?"

I weighed up my options: If I said no, it would be rude. On the other hand, I  _really_ hated shopping. "Well..." I  made sure to give Hisao a dirty look "If it's quiet, then I suppose it's okay"

"Excellent" Lilly smiled "Does that sound okay to you, Hanako?"

Hanako looked at me through her fringe "I-If you wouldn't mind..."

"It's...It's okay" I shrugged.

"O-Okay"

Lilly nodded like the matter was settled "Now that we have that arranged, shall we have some tea?"

Yuuko bolted to her feet "Sorry! That's my job! Let me just-"

Hisao reached out and grabbed Yuuko by the wrist "It's alright. I've got it" That was probably a good idea, Yuuko would have spilled everything "Since you've already made the tea and sandwiches, you've fulfilled your waitress duties, right?"

"I...I guess"

As Hisao served the tea and sandwiches, there was a loud BANG and a flash of light outside. I uttered a small curse in my shock.

"Ah," Lilly's expression was still unnervingly calm "I take it the show has started"

"Let's go watch!" Yuuko excitedly, before realising who was sitting next to her "Oh uh...Sorry, Lilly"

Lilly just smiled, more amused than anything "Please, don't miss the show on my account. From what I've heard, this isn't a bad location to watch them from"

The four of us rose to look out the window. The show truly had started, a kaleidoscopic range of blues, greens and reds lit up the night sky. I caught the smiles on everyone else's faces. Hanako seemed to have the largest smile.

It was all beautiful: The lights, the colours, the smiles. All beautiful.

It took what felt like a full minute for everyone to snap out of their reverie, even after the show ended. Hanako turned to me, her smile once again its normal size, small and shy "Um...t-thanks for today...and tomorrow"

"It's okay" I smiled back "I don't like crowds either. It's all...a bit much sometimes, isn't it? Easier to just spend time away from it all"

"Y-Yeah"

Our tea was cold by the time we returned to our seats, but it was okay (despite Yuuko's fretting). We left not long after. The calm, quiet night a welcome change from the loud crowds of the day.

"Goodnight, girls" Hisao nodded in farewell once we reached the dorms.

"Night" I waved to Hanako "See you tomorrow"

The girls said their farewells, and I left for my room and enjoyed a long, peaceful slumber.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I love at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly. I'm going shopping with Hanako tomorrow.

Life is good.


	8. Time Well Spent

**"Help someone, you earn a friend. Help someone too much, you make an enemy"  
** Erol Ozan

* * *

 My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower right leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live in Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly. I'm going shopping with Hanako today.

I got to class a little late, but it seemed that everyone had baggy eyes that morning. I suppose not that many people had an early night.

Hanako was already there, as well as Hisao, Misha and Shizune. Hanako seemed to stiffen as I sat down, rising from her own chair to come over and speak to me "G...Good morning, Kaito"

"Hi" I greeted her as brightly as I could, although my face may have fallen a little as I noticed how uncomfortable she looked. I decided not to say anything else, for fear of scaring her away.

"A-About today..." she said.

I nodded "Do you want to go after class?"

"S-Sure" she nodded with the faintest smile.

"Great" I said as she went back to her seat.

Mutou came in not long after, looking even more zombie-like than normal. He just gave us questions from the textbooks and collapsed into his chair for the remainder of the lesson.

When class ended, I rose to meet up with Hanako when a voice stopped me in my tracks "Kaito!" It was Misha. She was standing with Shizune, who had somehow managed to corner Hisao "We could always use your help as well!"

I didn't really know what they wanted from me, but it's not like I really to stay and ask "Sorry, but I have things to do" I waved my hand vaguely in the direction of Hanako, who already had her shopping bags ready.

"BWAHAHA!" Misha laughed "You move fast, don't you Kaito? We won't disturb your date any further! Bwhahaha!"

Wait, what? "It's not....I mean I'm not....She's not..." This wasn't a date, was it? We were just going shopping.

I felt a tugging on my shirt sleeve. It was Hanako, eyes on the floor. The sight of her calmed me, at least calm enough for coherent thought. "L...Let's..." She struggled to speak.

"Okay" I nodded, turning back to the others "We have to go now. Bye"

* * *

As we were walking to town I noticed that Hanako had started moving closer to me. Well, not close enough to be "close" but closer than before. I smiled at that, at her. Hanako seemed baffled by my expression "W-What's the matter...?"

I struggled with an answer at first (I wasn't prepared for a question) "I uh...You just looked nervous, is all. I was, um, trying to make you feel better, I guess"

Hanako's gaze dropped back to ground "R-Right"

I felt bad. Bad that Hanako looked so stressed out. Bad because I was starting to think I was part of the reason why. "You do this every week" I reminded her in an attempt to put her at ease "Right?"

"Y-Yes. With Lilly"

Right. That was the problem. She'd probably never left the school without Lilly before. She seemed really dependent on that girl. 

"...I'm here" I said after some silence "We won't be long. We'll get back soon"

Hanako smiled a little and a bit more colour came back to her face, but she didn't say anything. We just travelled, side-by-side, the crowd of students eventually thinning into nothing. By the time we arrived at the store, we were practically alone.

Hanako used me like a shield to keep herself out of the attendant's line-of-sight as we ducked in and out of the aisles, adding stuff to our baskets. Bread. Milk. Tea. Thyme (wait, what)

"What're you making?" I asked.

"What?" She jumped a little a the sound of my voice.

"All these spices you got," I waved her shopping list "What do you need them for?"

Hanako started staring at the floor again "I..." she mumbled "Sometimes I like...like to m-make food"

Intriguing "Cool. Can you show me? Can I try what you make?"

"S-Sure" she smiled, although she still looked a little unsure.

When we were done, Hanako handed me the basket as well as some money "C-C-Could you p-please..."

I wasn't too sure what she wanted to...Oh. She wanted me to pay for it. Admittedly, I wasn't very comfortable about talking to other people either. But Hanako's anxiety was on a completely different level. She was...relying on me. That was a weird thought.

"Right. Um, okay, sure. Let me just...uh, get some stuff..." I rushed about, grabbing a few more things for myself before making my way to the counter. The guy didn't even give me a second glance, which I sighed in relief to (maybe a bit louder than intended). I guess students came by pretty often.

When we headed back, there were somehow even less people around than before. Hanako seemed to visibly open up with the lack of people; she stood a little straighter, held her head a little higher, eyes off the concrete. It was almost like she was starting to enjoy herself. It made me smile.

We sorted out our bags outside the door to the girls dorm. My stuff looked kind of bland compared to hers. I wanted to hang out a little more, but I had homework to do, and I told her as such "Will you be okay with all that?" I gestured to her bags.

"Y-Yeah"

"Okay. Bye then"

"B-Bye" She smiled as she left.

That night I came to a conclusion: I hated homework.

* * *

I woke the next day sweating. It was going to be warm day. I hated it already.

Not everyone seemed to feel the same way however. With no-one seeming to have the energy for class, not even the teacher, most eyes were looking out the windows with longing rather than contempt. I just wanted to go back to my room. I had a fan there and I wanted to work on my art a little more. Which reminded me, I needed to find more paint. I was running out.

I was contemplating "borrowing" some from the art department when Hanako appeared in my field of vision "K...Kaito?"

She was holding a lunch bag in her hand, but it still took me a while to connect the dots (I blamed the heat) "Lunch?"

She gave a little shy nod "I...I brought enough for everyone..."

"Awesome!" I grinned at the prospect of free food "We going to the tea room?"

"P-Please" she nodded "Lilly said she'll meet us there, so we should...should..."

"Should...?"

"...Should go ahead together"

"Okay"

* * *

The tea room was cooler than the classroom, which I liked. Hanako slowly spread out her food into four portions, so I guessed that Hisao was coming as well. He and Lilly  _had_ been spending a lot of time together lately.

"Do we start without them?" I wondered aloud.

"T-They'll be here soon..." Hanako said, struggling with a container of rice.

"You want...You want a hand with that?" I asked her, not really sure if I should have done so.

She handed me the rice, but as I tried to pry the lid off, my fake hand seized up. I was stuck with the container stuck in my hand, so most of my efforts consisted of flailing and hitting it against the table. All to no avail, of course.

"N-No luck?"

I shook my head, an annoyed grumbling noise coming from the back of my throat.

"Hey guys" came Hisao's voice from the door. He and Lilly had finally arrived. He must have noticed our expressions "Something wrong?"

"Can't get this open" I managed to force the container out of my hand and give it to him. His efforts had more or less the same outcome.

"Did you put the rice in while it was still hot?" he asked me. He must have thought it was my rice.

"I was in a rush..." Hanako explained.

"That's the problem then," he shrugged "We'd need hot water to get it open"

"How about I contribute to todays meal" Lilly spoke up, holding up a bag of assorted buns "Hisao and I were late, so we thought we'd get something as well"

"Okay" I shrugged.

Hisao helped Lilly set out all her bread while Hanako rushed to make some more tea "Well," he said to no one in particular "I'm looking forward to this"

We ate in silence for the most part. Hanako kept stealing glances at me. It took me a while, but it occurred to me she was looking for my opinion. "This is good. You make this with all the stuff you got yesterday?"

"Y-Yes" she nodded "I wanted to show, s-seeing as you were asking..."

"Hanako's always like to experiment with her food. I think it's good...most of the time" Lilly said, only then taking a bite of her food. Hisao chuckled at that, not sure why.

"It's good" I said again "Thanks"

"You're welcome" Hanako went a bit pink in the face as she smiled.

It didn't really take long before the table was empty and all the food was gone (well, all but the rice). "Thank you Hanako" Lilly smiled "That was filling"

"N-No...Thank you for the bread..."

I had to agree with Hanako. The bread was a welcome addition to lunch "Yeah".

"Well, I guess that was a good idea after all" Hisao smiled at Lilly.

"Indeed" the blind girl also smiled "You're both very welcome"

We were cleaning up when Lilly asked me "Kaito? Might I ask something of you?"

I shrugged "Okay?"

"Could I feel your face?"

I'll admit I was a little thrown by the question. It wasn't one I knew how to respond to "Why?"

Lilly gave a small (maybe embarrassed) smile "Well, it's occurred to me that I don't actually know how you look. It's something I ask of everyone I'm close to. I feel a person's face and I have a basic image in my mind"

Oh, she just wanted to know what I looked like "I thought that was a myth? Blind people feeling faces and all that"

Lilly just shrugged "Well, I can't speak for every blind person but I like to try and put a face to a voice"

Fair enough "Go ahead then, I guess" I shrugged.

She smiled and reached a hand out to touch me, hitting my collarbone by mistake. "Oh. Sorry"

"I'm tall" I explained, moving her hand further upward with my own.

Lilly's face looked a little surprised at the touch of my fake hand "You..." her fingers ran along my palm, intertwining with my fingers "...have an artificial hand"

"Yep" I nodded "Fake leg too. I was uh, in an accident. It's why I'm here"

"I understand" Her hands rose to touch my face. Every movement was slow and careful, memorising every feature I had. Her fingers ran through my cropped hair and along my scars, the big one over my temple, a small one on my lip, another just above my eyebrow. It probably only took a moment, but in my self-conscious mind it took much, much longer. Satisfied, Lilly stepped back with a smile "Thank you Kaito, for letting me do that. I can see why Hanako likes you so much"

Hanako went red in face and dropped her gaze, while Hisao tried (in vain) to hide a smile. I wasn't quite sure what the joke was. Friends are meant to like each other, after all.

Lilly left before the rest of us, intent on making it back to class before the bell. The remaining three of us were content to just sit back and look at the world pass by out the window. I found myself wondering why I was so angry at the sky earlier. The wispy white clouds against the clear blue background that was the sky seemed pretty entrancing all of a sudden. With the peaceful quiet of the tea room it almost we were locked away from the rest of the world, lost in our own little tranquil bubble. If weren't for the bell ringing I don't know how long I would have spent staring at that sky.

"Guys," Hisao's voice broke the silence "We should probably head back now"

I forced myself to look away from the sky and look at him, then look to Hanako. She didn't look like she wanted to leave either.

"Not...just yet...." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Are you sure?" Hisao said "If we go now, we can still get there on time"

Hanako started wringing her hands in her lap a little. A nervous gesture.

"I can stay" I said, smiling at her before turning to Hisao "You go ahead"

"You sure?"

"Yeah"

Hisao left, and it was just Hanako and I once again. I enjoyed those moments, the brief moments of silence. It was peaceful, and Hanako was at peace as well (which I was starting to think was a rarity).

The final bell rang. Lunch had ended. Still we stayed there, our only company the sky and the silence. Alas, we couldn't stay there forever "You want to go now?" I sighed "I mean, they'll be expecting us and all. Probably"

Hanako sighed, her shoulders drooping "You're right"

The walk back to class seemed to be a much longer journey than normal, probably because neither of us really wanted to go. Eventually we got there and I went in first, expecting a lecture. But it never came. Mutou hadn't arrived just yet.

"Bwhahaha!" laughed the unmistakeable voice of Misha "The lovers return!"

Lovers, really? Why did Misha have to go and make things weird? Lovers was too strong a word for friends.

I felt Hanako's weight press against my back, as if she were trying to use my body to hide from the eyes of the classroom.

We were just friends.

Eventually the girl managed to break away from me and make her own way to her seat, while I got to mine. Mutou came in no long after, talking as if he was in the middle of a speech. My mind tuned him out like normal as I started to doodle on my desk.

"Glad you made it" Hisao whispered to me.

"The teacher may not have noticed your tardiness, but I did" Misha also whispered (I didn't know she  _could_ whisper) "I've been told to let you off the hook this time, on one condition..."

"Here it comes" Hisao grumbled.

"...you help us this afternoon"

I met her golden gaze. Misha irritated me. I hated to say that about anyone but she did. She was too loud and too...uncaring of personal boundaries for me to ever truly get along with her. "I...I'll think about it"

That seemed to be enough to shush her up for the rest of the class, so it wasn't a terrible answer. 

* * *

"K-Kaito?" I heard Hanako's voice almost the minute class ended.

"Yeah?"

"I...I was going to the library and...and I thought..."

Sensing an opportunity to escape Misha and Shizune, I nodded and raced out of the classroom, taking Hanako by the arm as I went. It wasn't until we were out and around the corner that I realised my faux pas.

"Sorry!" I instantly released her arm "It's just we...I needed to get away real quick. They're relentless and I didn't want to help them 'cause I think they're annoying and I..." I hung my head "I'm sorry"

Hanako's eyes looked like saucers, and her cheeks were a funny red colour "It's uh...It's okay"

"Right. Sorry" Desperate to change the topic, I blurted "Library?" in the hopes that we'd just move on and forget my blunder.

"S-Sure"

The library was pretty quiet when we got there. Hanako made a bee-line for Yuuko, whispering something in her ear.

"Um," I heard Yuuko speak "You'd find that in non-fiction, but I don't know where, exactly. If you want, I can look it up..."

"N-Never mind" Hanako shook her head.

"What's up?" I asked, curious to the subject of their conversation.

"Oh, Kaito..." Yuuko smiled at me "Hanako was just looking for a book on-"

"N-Nothing" Hanako interrupted her, much to her surprise.

"A book on nothing? In non-fiction?" 

Hanako looked slightly flustered "I...I was just..."

I looked at Yuuko, who looked like she was ready to explode or wet herself "Okay...If you don't want to tell me..."

"CHESS!" Yuuko burst out "She's looking for a chess book!"

Hanako looked hurt "Yuuko..."

"I'm sorry Hanako" She really looked it too. Her face was one of horrid regret "It just slipped out"

I was confused as to why such a thing needed to be kept a secret, but nonetheless I carried on like all was well (as best as I could, anyway) "Oh-kay. You want to go look for it?"

Hanako gave me another weird look, or at least one that I couldn't explain. It was like a cross between embarrassment and...something else (like I said, I couldn't figure her out) "O...Okay"

So while Yuuko hid behind the counter in apparent shame, Hanako and I delved into the non-fiction section. I knew the layout of the library like the back of my hand at that point, but with the constantly changing books it still took us a while to find the one we were looking for. We did find it though, a single paperback called _Chess Tactics For Champions_. I reached for it but Hanako beat me to it, taking the book and holding it to her chest "Okay then" I was a little thrown by her actions.

"S-Sorry. It's just that I had only ever played L-Lilly before so I thought..."

I came to the conclusion that deep down, she was a bit of a sore loser. I didn't mean to beat her in our last match, but it seemed she took the loss rather personally.

"Okay" I made a vague wave to nowhere "I'm just going to go find a book. Meet you in the usual spot?"

"S-Sure"

I found a book easily enough so it wasn't long before I had met up with Hanako again, reclining in our beanbags. If I'm being honest, I didn't do a lot of reading. I kept getting distracted by Hanako. She looked completely absorbed in her book with a level of concentration yet simultaneous calm that I had rarely seen on her face before. She brushed a bit of hair out of her face, showing off a bit of scar tissue in the process. I found myself staring at the scars again, determined to try and capture the detail of her burns in my mind. I didn't ask her about them though, I didn't want to upset her after all.

It didn't feel like a lot of time had passed before Yuuko approached us and said "Sorry to interrupt, but I have to close the library now"

I blinked slowly, as if emerging from deep sleep "Time flies" I shrugged.

The pair of us followed Yuuko back to the entrance, checking out our books along the way.

The three of us left the library together when Yuuko made a loud panicked...bark (I guess?) "Argh! I didn't think it was this late already!"

"Then why didn't you close..." I never got another word in, Yuuko had already ran away. She was weird.

"Huh?" Hanako looked at me all confused. I must have said that last bit aloud.

"I uh, just meant that she was a little...um...neurotic?"

"Oh...I k-know what you mean..." she smiled a little, as if remembering a joke "I...I have to get back"

"To the dorms?"

"Y-Yeah"

"I'll walk with you. It's kind of that time now"

As we walked back to the dorms together, I felt the need the speak "Hanako? Thanks for um...you know...spending time with me"

Hanako seemed a little surprised by my words "N-No problem"

It didn't take very long to get back to the dorms, bidding each other goodnight before parting ways. I painted a little bit before going to bed.

I was definitely out of paint now.


	9. Friends

**"Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage and the like. More than anything else, it is how about we treat other people"  
 ** Dennis Prager

* * *

I woke up early. The birds were singing, which was nice. I didn't have any paint to work with so I decided to go and get some breakfast instead.

Surprisingly I wasn't the only one up. There was a sports team all crowded around a single table, as well as a few other early risers all folded over their textbooks and food. Lilly was up as well, so I went to go sit with her.

"Hi, Lilly"

Lilly almost dropped her fork. "Oh, Kaito, you startled me. I didn't know you took breakfast this early"

"I don't usually," I admitted "But I woke up early. I had nothing else to do so..."

There was a long silence as we ate. I finished first naturally, but I wasn't in a hurry so I was content to sit in silence until Lilly spoke again.

"Kaito, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

I shrugged before I remembered she couldn't see me, so I hastily added an "Okay"

"Do you think of Hanako as a friend?"

I found it an odd question. Did she think that I didn't actually like Hanako, or did she think that I considered her as something other than a friend? "Yes...Why?"

"No real reason" she smiled "I do have another question though. Why is it that you think of her as a friend?"

Her line of questioning was making me nervous for some reason "Well...uh, she's nice, we...we both like similar things, I think. She's...she's uh..." I was going to say "pretty" but the thought gave me pause. When had I ever considered Hanako's looks before, beyond the sensation of her scars.

"Since I've known her, she hasn't really connected with anyone" Lilly said "She doesn't seem interested in other people, and I think people are a little scared off by her appearance"

"Why? Isn't that a bad thing? I mean we're all a little, not normal. Why's Hanako any different?"

Lilly sighed "If you don't mind me saying, I think you're a little naïve"

"Um...Okay?"

"While Yamaku has a stronger sense of community compared to other schools, it's far from being free of conflict. Rules cannot remove human nature after all, only suppress it"

I guess she had a point. I wasn't a big expert on human behaviour, but I remembered a time when I was ostracised for being half-British. "I know that. But Hanako's...normal, at least I think she is. A normal person. I thought that she and I were alike I guess, so I found it a little easier to talk to her"

"Kaito, I think you are naïve. But I also think that you're a good person. It is perhaps one of your better traits"

I think that was meant to be a compliment "Um, thanks"

"Tell me, are you free tonight?"

I was. "Why?"

"I was hoping you would join myself, Hisao and Hanako for tea this evening"

"Where?"

"Hanako and I often use my room for tea parties together. Please, if you'd like, feel free to drop by after dusk"

"Okay. Which room is yours?"

"225. That's Room 25 on the second floor"

I nodded, trying to commit the number to memory "Okay"

"Very well then. I had best be off. I have class representative duties to attend to, after all" she rose from her seat "Until this evening, Kaito"

"Bye"

* * *

I left the boy's dorm with Hisao that night, and it wasn't long before we came to Lilly's door. 

Hisao was trying to flatten his hair as we walked, but that one strand on his crown refused to settle. "I don't think that's working" I told him, which just got me scowled at.

"Is that you Hisao? Kaito? The door is open, you can come in" came Lilly's voice from the other side.

"Does it feel like we're breaking rules here?" Hisao quickly whispered to me.

I was confused by his question "How?"

"You know. A pair of guys in the girl's dorm after dark?"

Oh,  _that's_ what he meant "You're making this weird. Don't be weird"

"Okay" He sighed and opened the door. The room was much cleaner than mine, with neater (if slightly more expensive) furniture. The room smelled funny, a fusion of makeup products and perfume that reminded me of my mother.

The two girls were seated around a low table with a red tea-set between them. Lilly had let her hair down, a curtain of gold that fell to her waist. She was dressed in dark blue (maybe black) pyjamas that showed off a tantalising amount of leg.

Hanako on the other was dressed in a pink gown that looked several sizes too large, making her look even smaller than normal. She met my eyes for the briefest of moments before dropping her head, a small smile and a flush of colour on her face.

"There's no point in you standing in the doorway, boys" Lilly spoke.

We came in, the room seeming much smaller now that there were four of us. "My, my." Lilly smiled "I'm afraid this really is a small room for the four of us. Would you like to take a seat?"

The pair had to make our way over pretty slowly so that we didn't trip over anything or anyone. Hisao sneaked a look down Lilly's top as he passed her (dirty boy).

"Well now," Lilly said once we were seated "How about some tea? Hanako, could you please pour?"

"S...Sure" Hanako nodded, her movements stiff and robotic "Kai...Kaito w-would...would you...would you like..."

"Tea?" I finished the question for her "Yes please"

"Do you need a hand?" Hisao asked.

"N...No" Hanako shook her head "I'm...fine. Thank you"

Lilly smiled as if she knew a joke that she wasn't sharing.

"Long day?" I asked Hanako, hoping to calm her with conversation.

"Y...Yeah" There was a slight "ting" as the teapot tapped the edge of the cup. Nothing broke, but Hanako took a sharp breath anyway. She must have been _really_ nervous.

"It's okay, Hanako" Lilly's voice rang as soothing as a bell "There's no need to be nervous"

Her words must have calmed her down a bit, because she poured the rest of the tea much more easily "Here you are"

"Thank you, Hanako"

"Yeah, thanks"

"Thank you"

"Y-You're welcome"

Lilly carefully reached for her tea and took a delicate sip, Hisao and I following suit. The tea tasted really nice, much nicer than the tea we usually had.

"Mmm," I grinned like a fool "This is good"

"I wasn't going to say anything," Hisao said "But it does taste a little different from any tea I've had before"

"Looks like you picked the right one, Hanako" Lilly smiled "You've done well, even if it was a bold move"

I looked at the dark-haired girl "You picked it?"

She nodded.

"Cool. Good job"

Hanako's smile returned bigger than before. It was cute. "I'm glad you liked it"

My mind went back to Lilly's question that morning as we drank: Why am I friends with Hanako? Lilly seemed to really care about her, like a sister or something. I wanted to be a good friend, but it wasn't like I could do much about her problems. I didn't think her scars were really a problem, more she was just really shy and self-conscious, kind of like me. We were similar in that way, as well as our shared interests. I think that was enough to call someone a friend.

"So, Hisao" Lilly spoke "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Hmm?" Hisao blinked as if emerging from a dream "Yeah. It's relaxing. Almost like I'm not in the school anymore"

"Do you do this often?" I asked.

"Quite often," the blind blonde answered "Although not nearly as often as we take tea in the school building"

I went to take another sip, only to find my cup empty. I may have whined like a puppy.

"That was delicious" Hisao didn't take much longer to finish his "Thank you"

"Yeah" I said as well "Thanks"

"You...You're welcome" Hanako smiled.

"Yes, you're both very welcome" Lilly said "It's nice to have the extra company"

"Well, anytime you need to fill that position, I'm always available" Hisao smiled at her.

"Me too" I said as well (maybe a little too enthusiastically) "Always. Anytime"

Lilly tried, and failed, to hide a yawn behind her hand "Pardon me, I think I'm a little tired"

"I think we're all a little tired..." Hanako said.

"My, my." Lilly smiled "How astute we are tonight, Hanako. We really should head to bed; we all have class tomorrow"

"Yeah" Hisao rose "We should probably go. Come on Kaito"

I didn't get up immediately. I wanted to stay and have more tea. I eventually did get to my feet, but I sounded like a despondent child "Okay"

"Thank you for coming boys" Lilly smiled.

"Th...Thanks" Hanako said "You'll come again?"

"Sure!" I said almost immediately.

"Not even armies could stop us" Hisao added with unexpected debonair, causing Hanako to blush.

"Such determination Hisao" Lilly chuckled.

"Either way" Hisao nudged me with his arm "We best be going"

Hanako moved to follow us out the door. "Are you coming with us?" Hisao asked with a tiny smile.

Hanako's got even redder "No...I...not...this room...isn't..."

"Relax" he chuckled "I was only joking"

I tried not to get too annoyed by his "joke" and just smile at Hanako "Goodnight Hanako"

"Good...Goodnight"

"Goodnight Hanako" Lilly said "Goodnight boys"

"Night" Hisao and I said I unison.

And thus the tea party ended. I kind of dragged my feet as Hisao left ahead of me, catching Hanako by the shoulder for a quick word. Hanako jumped like I had given her a shock.

"Sorry!" I reflexively said "It's just...you're nervous"

"W-What?"

"You...uh...act nervous around us. Around Hisao, me. I mean, it's okay, I get nervous too. But you know you don't have to be, right? I mean, we're friends aren't we?"

She smiled at me "R-Right. We're friends"

That made me feel a little inside and brought a smile to my face "Good. If you want to...you know...spend a little time together or something, let me know". I tried to make a more playful smile as I said "I mean, we still to have that rematch"

"S-Sure...b-but I don't think you'll win"

"Challenge accepted" I chuckled "It wouldn't any fun it was easy"

Hanako may have actually laughed there, but it was a bit hard to tell "G-Goodnight Kaito..." she said one last time before rushing into her room. It wasn't very far from Lilly's.

I left to catch up with Hisao, who had stopped to wait by the stairs. "What was that about?"

"Hm? Just wanted to talk to her"

"Just talk?"

"Yeah"

"Then why do you look like you won the lottery?"

Did I? I knew I was smiling but I didn't think I looked that cheesy "I...I just...It's nice knowing I have friends. I don't have that many"

Hisao opted to give me a friendly (If awkward) pat on the shoulder "I suppose that's a good thing"

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly.

I have friends. I am happy.


	10. Bonded By Tragedy

**"A secret spoken finds wings"  
** Robert Jordan

* * *

I left my room that morning only to find Hisao stuck in a conversation with Kenji.

"How'd you sleep?" The legally blind boy asked me.

"Um," I was afraid to answer, worried that I'd somehow trigger one of his rants "Okay, I guess"

"Yeah, me too" Hisao said "Like a baby"

"Damn, why do people say that?" Kenji wondered aloud "Have you ever heard a baby sleep? They scream. All night, every night. Babies don't sleep well, ever"

Hisao just sighed. I got the impression that he'd been stuck talking to Kenji for a while now "Alright, I get your point. It was a figure of speech"

"Yeah sure whatever" Kenji kept speaking unabated "Where were you guys last night? I had a favour to ask but you weren't around"

I was about to explain when Hisao silenced me with an elbow to the ribs "We were out," he said "Checking the local area and stuff. You know...recon"

"Recon" seemed like a weird word to use, but it seemed to make Kenji smile. "Good man, good. I knew you were the type to plan ahead..."

"So what was the favour you wanted?" Hisao asked.

"I was going to get some takeout, but I needed change" he explained.

"What?" Hisao frowned "I gave you money last week and you _still_ haven't paid me back!"

"And I was starting to think you were cool" Kenji scoffed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wallet, handing Hisao 400 yen. I'm not sure why he'd ask him for money, he seemed to have enough from what I could see.

Hisao seemed to notice, and he wasn't happy. "Hey, what the hell? Why are you borrowing money off me when you've got that much cash?"

"Get off my case, man" the legally blind boy hissed "It's back luck to break a big note for anything less than half its value. It's the tycoon rule. Last night's dinner is going to cost me seven years of bad luck. Seven years!"

Hisao sighed "I guess you're right" I personally didn't think he was, but Hisao looked tired, so he might have just been going along with Kenji to avoid another argument "Maybe you should plan these things a little better?" he suggested to the boy instead.

"Yeah man, I know" Kenji shrugged "But I've just got so much stuff to do, it's hard. And you guys are never around anymore. Brothers is arms, remember?"

"What?" I was confused.

"Yeah, yeah," Hisao was visibly losing the will to live "Global conspiracy and such. We'll keep our ears to the ground. Don't worry"

"You guys better" Kenji said, his face close enough to Hisao's to touch noses "They'll split us up. Divide and conquer. Sun Tzu said that"

Did Sun Tzu actually say that? I'll admit I wasn't very well-read on old philosophers, but I didn't think a sleep-deprived paranoid blind boy was a reliable source of information.

Hisao placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a look that screamed "Get out of here!"

"We've got to go" he told Kenji "We've got classes"

With nothing else to add, Kenji bade us farewell and locked his door behind him, muttering about having to stay up all night or something.

"Weird guy" I said aloud.

"You have no idea" Hisao sighed.

* * *

Mutou was teaching Biology. He going on about recessive genes, like the one that makes you able to roll your tongue (like me). Sadly, it seemed like I was the only one who was enjoying the class. Mutou seemed to realise it, because he just sighed, wrote some questions on the board and slumped into his chair.

Hanako left almost immediately after, which got me thinking: Did she leave because she didn't want to talk to anyone, or was the noise alone enough to make her leave? The bells rang not long after, so maybe she was just leaving early. She never did like crowds after all.

Hisao and I left for the tea room, where we found Lilly setting out her lunch by herself.

"Hey, Lilly" Hisao greeted her.

"Where's Hanako?" I asked. I had expected to find Hanako at the tea room.

"I haven't seen Hanako since this morning I'm afraid" Lilly answered.

"She left early" I was confused "She should be here. It's lunchtime"

"Has she been leaving class often?" she asked.

"Every day or so" Hisao answered.

Lilly sighed, looking sad "I was so sure that she'd stop doing that once you became friends. Everyone has their own pace, I suppose"

"Why does she leave?" Hisao voiced the question I had always wondered but was always afraid to ask.

"I'm not entirely sure myself" Lilly admitted "I personally think it's because she doesn't want to be put in a situation where she has to answer someone"

That made me think back to the first time I met her, how she had ran away rather than answer my question, so I guess that made some sense "But she seems...I mean she seems okay with us though"

"It's a little more complex than that" Lilly said "I imagine that the first thing most people ask about is her scars, and what happened. She rarely talks about it with me, but I can tell that she doesn't like to remember whatever happened back then. Leaving class and running away from discussions is her pre-emptive strike, if you will"

"That makes no sense" Hisao said.

Personally, I thought it made plenty of sense. She was afraid to talk to people because she knew that any conversation would eventually lead to one regarding her burns, so she avoids any conversation altogether.

There was one thing I didn't understand though. If she didn't want to talk..."Why does she talk to me then?" I asked.

"Well, you said yesterday that you see her as a normal person. You look beyond her scars" Lilly suggested as an explanation "Once she saw that you weren't going to ask her about it, she opened herself up to you"

But I  _did_ want to ask her. More than I think Lilly realised. I would have asked immediately if I didn't know that Hanako would run from me, and I was afraid that question would drive me mad in time.

"I wouldn't worry, man" Hisao tried to give an assuring pat on the back, but it kind of felt awkward in its execution.

"I'm sure you'll come to know her as well as I do soon enough" Lilly smiled.

"I..." I wanted to say more, but my mind and mouth would not work together "I suppose"

Lilly continued to speak "I welcome the prospect of her having another close friend, and the two of you have such similar interests"

But did we? We both liked to read and play chess, but as far as I knew that was it. Was that enough?

"I'd hardly count reading as a team sport," Hisao said (was that meant to be a joke?) "But I suppose it's good to have company, right?"

I gave a hesitant nod.

"That's my point" Lilly smiled "Hanako is still a normal person at heart. She also wants company at times"

I could see her point, although I still had this irrational fear that I was doing something wrong "People are confusing"

"Ain't that the truth" Hisao muttered with a smile.

"It's only natural, Kaito" Lilly said "We've only known each other for a little while; it's unreasonable to expect you to understand any of us, just as we can't understand you. But isn't that half the fun of making friends?"

"I...I guess so"

"Although..." Lilly continued to smile "I suppose there is the matter of you two being the opposite gender. Men and women do tend to find each other even more confusing". With a giggle, she returned to her lunch "Now, if it's alright I'd like to return to my lunch"

"Oh yeah, right" Hisao seemed to have had forgotten about why we were there. He sat down across from her and drew his own lunch "You bring anything, man?" he asked me.

"Books" I said.

Hisao gave me a funny look "Books?"

"I need to return books" I spun on my heel and left "Bye"

"If you find Hanako there," Lilly called after me "Can you tell her to stop by my room later tonight?"

Her words sat in my head, alongside the words that berated me for forgetting. How did I forget?

Hanako. I had been thinking about Hanako and about where she went, so I had gone off looking for her instead of doing what I actually had to do. Why would Hanako override everything in my mind?

I made it to the library in record time, dropping my books into the return box with a loud thud. There was a squeak as Yuuko appeared out from underneath the counter. I guess she didn't like loud noises either.

"K-Kaito! You scared me!"

"S-Sorry" I apologised "I was just...um..." I vaguely waved at my books.

"Returning books" she noted "I see"

"Hanako?"

"What?"

"Have you seen Hanako?" I rephrased my question.

"Oh! I think I saw her sneak in before lunch" Her face went pale "Oh, but I'm not supposed to tell anyone that!"

"Why not?" I asked.

Yuuko didn't answer, a bead of sweat running down the side of her head "No reason. She's probably in the back"

Nodding, I made my way into the labyrinth, following the familiar route to Hanako's hiding place. Every now and then I would check the shelves for books, eventually settling on an old favourite (and one I'd never seen before).

Hanako was there as expected, nose buried in a book.

"Hi" I said brightly. Seeing Hanako always made me feel a little better.

Hanako looked up at me. Her smile was a little shaky, but at least it was nothing like the terror that she used to show "Hello K-Kaito"

Wait a minute...She was smiling! That was great. That meant she was happy to see me.

"What are you reading?" I asked her.

"Um... _Dance, Dance, Dance_ " she answered.

"Is it any good?"

"I-It's good...I think. I've only j-just started it, so I d-don't really know"

"Okay" I nodded "Can you tell me what it's like when you're done. I might borrow it after"

"S-Sure"

So I started reading, looking up every now and then at Hanako. Every time I did, I caught her catching glances at me. Why? Was there something on my face? Did she want to tell me something?

"Are you okay?" I asked her at last.

"N..." she said "It's nothing"

"Are you sure?" I wasn't very convinced.

She squirmed a little in her beanbag, a scarred hand absentmindedly playing with her fringe "I...I was in an accident"

"What? When? Are you hurt?"

She shook her head "N-No. When I was y-younger. When I...when I was..."

"Are...Are you talking about the...your, you know..." I rubbed the back of my hand, in a spot where Hanako's own hand had burns. I was finding it difficult to voice the question, so I was hoping she'd understand my gesture.

She nodded. It was small and jerky, but it was a nod "When I was young...I was in a fire. M-My house b-burned down, and I nearly...I nearly didn't make it. A-After that...I was alone..."

In the light, her eyes glistened with as-of-yet unformed tears. Without really thinking I reached out a hand (my real hand) to try and comfort her. She reminded me of a deer, or a porcelain doll; one sudden movement away from breaking "You...You don't need to tell me..."

"B-But...I have to..." she said, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

"Why?"

"Y-You told L-Lilly you were in an accident...I was there. I didn't think it was f-fair"

"What do you mean?"

"Th-That I knew about you b-but you didn't know about me"

I laid my hand on her wrist. I gave it a little squeeze, hoping to calm or comfort her. I wished my own hand would stop shaking.

"I...I didn't tell her everything" I admitted.

Hanako met my gaze, her eyes asking an unspoken question.

"Car crash" I said "On a mountain road. I went down the side. The doctor said I was actually dead for a bit"

Her eyes widened at that "R-Really?"

"Yeah" I sighed. I hadn't really told anyone else about that. It felt strange to say it aloud, as if a small weight had just fallen off my back "I guess...now we know a bit more. About each other, I mean"

Talking about it brought all the memories back for the briefest moment: The smell of the hospital, the physiotherapy, my therapist's silly quotes. I wondered if Hanako was feeling the same way.

She said she was alone. Did that mean no friends? No parents? I would have lost my mind without my parents visits.

Hanako moved her arm out of my grasp "Th-Thank you, Kaito. I...I haven't told many people about this"

"Neither have I" I admitted.

"Th-Then I won't tell a-anyone either"

I smiled at that "Thank you" before quickly adding "I won't tell anyone either. About you, I mean"

"Okay" she smiled

The bells rang. Lunchtime was over.

"Class?"

"S-Sure"


	11. An Evening Enjoyed

**"Share your smile with the world. It's a symbol of friendship and peace"  
** Christie Brinkley

* * *

 The light in the room faded with the setting sun, but Hanako and I refused to let our game go unfinished.  _tap-tap_ went the pieces until Hanako spoke:

"Checkmate"

"Again?" I sighed, leaning back in my chair "What's that now? 3-2?

"S-Stalemates don't count"

I smiled at her "You're getting better at this". Of course, it was also possible that she'd had being going easy on me before.

Chess had become a popular pastime for the two of us; hiding away from the hustle and bustle of the school, playing a couple of games after every class with voices of passing students just a faint background noise.

"Again?" I asked her.

Hanako looked torn "I...I have to finish homework"

"Okay then" I nodded "I'll see you later"

"But..." Hanako gestured to the tea set and the chessboard "What about this?"

"I'll get it. Go get your work done"

"Oh, okay. See you"

"Later" I smiled at her.

Hanako left while I cleaned up, the only sounds now being my own clattering around.

I was enjoying my time at Yamaku, especially with my new friends. Lilly and Hisao were nice and patient, but I was especially enjoying my time with Hanako. She was quiet, which I liked, but the feelings I got as I discovered more and more about her when indescribable (At least _I_ couldn't describe them).

Time went on when I began to hear voices outside. It sounded like Lilly and Hanako, so I went outside to see what they were talking about.

"Are you sure?" Lilly was asking her.

"Yes" Hanako nodded.

"Oh, hey Kaito" Hisao was there too.

Hanako spun around to look at me, a surprised look on her face. Lilly's eyebrows rose in a similar reaction "Oh my," Lilly said "Is that Kaito?"

"Hi" I waved "What's up?"

"I was hoping," Lilly said "Now that I've finished with my class representative duties for the day, that the four of us might go for tea at the Shanghai. It would be nice to enjoy ourselves outside of the school for a change"

"Okay" I nodded. It took me a second before I added "But um...Hanako had uh, homework though..."

Hanako shook her head "I-It's not all that much..."

"So are we going then?" Hisao asked

"Yes I believe we are" Lilly smiled.

* * *

There were more people than just us in the Shanghai this time, but thankfully there wasn't that many of them and they were relatively quiet.

"Welcome to the Shanghai!" rang out Yuuko's chipper tone "May I take your order?"

"Just tea, please" Lilly ordered for herself "Boys? Hanako?"

"I'll just have some tea too" Hisao said.

"Tea, with cake" I ordered.

"Just...t-tea...please" Hanako managed to order.

"Coming right up!" Yuuko smiled "Please take any seat you wish and I'll be back shortly"

As we took our seats I noticed that Hanako wasn't actually hiding behind Lilly anymore, if anything it seemed like she was properly leading her blind friend around now.

"Are you okay, Lilly?" Hisao asked "You look tired"

Lilly lowered her head with a sigh "Class representative work can be very tiring, considering that it often means dealing with the Student Council. Very tiring indeed". Oh that's right, Lilly didn't get along with Shizune, did she?

"How...are the other representatives doing?" Hanako asked her.

"Better than I, but not by much. Shizune is a harsh taskmaster no matter whom she deals with"

"It doesn't sound like you particularly relish the job" Hisao noted "Why do you do it in first place, if it's that bad?"

"Being a class representative is enjoyable, and I can deal with the responsibility well enough. It's just that the people involved are sometimes..."

"Annoying?" I suggested.

Lilly's face scrunched up, looking like she had another word in mind "Let's go with that"

Hanako suddenly rose to her feet.

"Hanako?" Lilly asked, apparently sensing the girl rise.

"What's up?" I asked the dark-haired girl.

"I'll...be back in a bit" she answered. She left in the direction of the toilet. I guess when you have to go, you have to go.

Lilly sighed. She looked kind of bad for some reason.

"Don't worry about it" Hisao said, placing a hand on Lilly's "I don't think it was you". Oh they were talking about Hanako.

"But..."

"She's fine" I spoke up "I think she's a little better now. At least since I met her"

Lilly sighed "Possibly. Sometimes I find it hard to tell"

Eventually Yuuko arrived with our orders to break the silence. We thanked her, the waitress bowing in return and going on her way.

"That's right" Lilly spoke again "Kaito. I was meaning to ask you something"

I looked up from my cake slice "What is it?"

"Hanako's birthday is coming up and I was hoping that you might accompany Hisao and myself for present shopping in the city this weekend"

"Uh..." I didn't really want to go into the city. I was never much of a city person. They were always too full of people and noise and smells. I grew up in a more rural area, just beyond the outskirts (much better for my state of mind). But, if it was going to be for Hanako... "Okay, I guess"

"Great" Hisao smiled, looking to Lilly as he asked "Are we doing anything else? A party or something?"

"I'm not sure she'd like a party" I said.

"Indeed," Lilly seemed to agree with me "Perhaps a more low-key affair..." she stopped talking all of a sudden, taking a small sip of her tea. She must have heard Hanako coming, because she was sitting with us again almost instantly.

The four of us stayed for a while, eating and drinking as the sun started to set. I was enjoying myself. I found myself looking at Hanako pretty often. She was talking to Lilly about books when a question formed in my mind:

"Hey, Hanako? What do you like to do? I mean, besides chess and books I mean?

Hanako gave me a funny look (it might have been surprise?). It took her a while before she answered "Um...I guess...I like singing a l-little. I'm okay with c-computers as well, but I...don't use them all that much"

That was a pleasant surprise. I wasn't expecting her to enjoy singing, given her quiet nature, but it was nice to see we had another thing in common.

"W-What about...y-y..." she stuttered.

"What do I like?"

She nodded.

I smiled. I guess it was only natural she'd want to ask the same question "I like to paint, draw, stuff like that. Chess, reading...can't think of anything else...Oh wait, I like music too. Singing and the like. My dad, he...he had a guitar that I liked to play" I made a sad little wave with my fake hand, my fingers stiff as I tried to wiggle them "Hands aren't that good at it anymore. And then there was my PlayStation...I can still play it, but..." I trailed off, my sentence unfinished.

It seemed I had killed the mood a little. Everyone had gone quiet.

"It sounds like you lost a few things since your accident" Lilly noted, breaking the silence.

"Yeah" I agreed sadly "But that's why I took up art. The doctors suggested it, they said it would improve my right hand or something, I was a leftie before everything. Painting and drawing and stuff helped like a kind of therapy"

"Nice to see that you gained something from it all" Hisao nodded.

Hanako remained silent. I wanted her to say something, anything, so that I could hear her opinion. I may have stared a little, to try and coax a response out of her.

The silence that had fallen was broken a soft ringing noise. Lilly reached into her pocket and drew out a phone "Sorry..." she said as she left the table.

"I-It's okay..." Hanako called after her.

"Must be nice to be popular" Hisao said once Lilly was out of sight.

Hanako smiled, but did not speak.

Hisao leaned back in his seat, his eyes closed "It's nice and peaceful here," he said "I wonder what it'd be like to grow up somewhere like this, rather than in the city"

"It was nice" I said "I grew up in a place like this. It was nice, quiet, peaceful. Never liked the city. Too noisy and crowded"

"Aw, the city's not that bad" Hisao chuckled.

"You grew up in the city?" Hanako asked him.

"Yeah. I guess you can say I was a city boy, through and through" 

"I-It sounds like a lot changed" Hanako said

"It did" he nodded "I'm still not quite sure what to make of it all. It's all a bit of a culture shock, in more ways than one. The pair of you must have felt something similar when you arrived at Yamaku? I imagine most students would"

"Not really" we more or less said in unison. Hanako looked at me, stunned, then dropped her gaze.

With our conversation having died down, I could hear Lilly's phone-call from around the corner "...But can't we deal with that on Monday? The fallout has hardly settled from the last...I understand. I'll try to talk her down. You know what she's like when she gets locked onto an idea...Yes, thank you. I'll talk to you later then. Goodbye" With that, she came back around to meet us, a tired expression on her face.

"Need to go?" Hisao asked, rising from his own seat.

"Unfortunately" she nodded "Class representative work calls again"

"I'll walk you back" he offered.

Lilly nodded, turning to Hanako "Keep our Kaito company, won't you?"

"Okay..."

"I can join you for tea again later tonight" she promised "I may well need it"

They agreed on that, and so Hisao and Lilly left together, each leaving some money for respective part of the bill (They spent a lot of time together)

And then Hanako and I were alone. We sat there, in silence. She looked at me with a wary look in her eyes that made me feel a little self-conscious. I knew I looked, what with my big scars and fake limbs, but it never bothered me too much (mostly because I never stopped to think about it) until I saw that way she was looking. What did she think of me?

"You want to get something else?" I asked her. I hadn't had much of a dinner so I was still hungry.

Hanako's face brightened up as she nodded. I guess she was hungry too. Why didn't she say anything?

It took a while, but we managed to order a sandwich and hot chocolate each. The food was nice and we enjoyed it in silence, or at least I did. I looked up to Hanako had barely touched hers.

"Are you okay?" I asked her "Not hungry?"

She shook her head "I-It's not that"

"What is it?"

"You looked...t-troubled. I-Is something...w-wrong?"

Did I look troubled? I guess my face must have given something away "Are we friends?" I asked.

"Friends..." Her voice seemed shaky and she appeared to shrink a little. I was afraid I'd hit a sore spot. I was about to apologise when she said "I-I think th-that we are..."

That made me smile "Good"

"A-Am I wrong to th-think that?"

"No! No, it's not..." I took a moment to control my volume "It's just...it's nice to hear it. I don't have many friends. It's...good to know I have one" I happily took a swig of my hot chocolate, only to spit it back with a curse "That was hot"

"Th-That's why..." Hanako giggled "That's why I haven't eaten anything yet. I-I was waiting...for my drink to cool down first"

I wound up chuckling at my own blunder "I guess I should wait too"

The rest of the evening was much less tense. We enjoyed our meal in silence and made our way back to the school in silence, content to just enjoy the company of each other.

A loud yawn escaped Hanako as she tried in vain to cover her mouth "Tired?" I asked (although the answer was fairly obvious).

"Yes"

"Well...I best be off to bed. Goodnight"

"G-Goodnight"

We went our separate ways at the dorms. I looked back to find Hanako waving at me. I waved back and went inside, a silly smile on my face.

I enjoyed my time with Hanako, those small and precious moments, more than I realised. I wanted to make her smile as much as I could. I didn't fully understand my feelings, but I knew one thing:

I liked my feelings.


	12. The Shopping Trip

**"A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer"  
** Lucius Annaeus Seneca

* * *

I decided to spend lunch in the sunlight. It was a nice day and I had managed to get my hands on some paints, so I was looking for...inspiration I guess. There were people playing around on the track down the hill. I was sitting under the shade of a large tree when someone came and sat beside me. 

I recognised her from class, although we had never really spoken. She had dark brown skin, hair and eyes. She was missing her left hand too, rather the appendage was wrapped in bandages. Miura Miki, Miki Miura was her name (I think).

"Sup" she smiled.

"Hi, uh...Miura?"

The girl chuckled "Just call me Miki. The surname thing's a bit stuffy"

"Um, okay...Hi, Miki. I'm uh, Kaito"

The pair of us looked back down the hill. The group below was organising a second game of soccer.

"Don't you...um...sports?" I tried to ask. I wasn't very comfortable talking to people I barely knew.

"Nah" she shrugged "I'm just resting for a bit. What about you? You gonna' play?"

I shook my head "I don't do sports"

Miki raised an eyebrow and waved her bandaged arm "Just 'cause you're missing limbs doesn't mean you can't play"

I shook my head again "I never did sports. Even before"

"Shame" she sighed "You seem pretty cool about everything that's happened. Some people come to Yamaku pretty messed up at first"

"You um...always been on the team?"

"Yup" she smiled "Been in it since I first arrived. You in any clubs?"

I shook my head again (again).

"You've been hanging around with the other new guy though, right? Hisao something? Him and the others, Hanako and the amazon?"

"Yeah" I knew about Hisao and Hanako, and by "amazon" I assumed she meant Lilly. What made her an amazon though I had no idea.

"Then don't worry about it" she smiled, giving me a friendly shove "As long as you've got some friends, you don't need clubs"

There was a loud whistle on the field. We looked over to find one of the players on the ground, he seemed to have taken a fall.

"Ouch" Miki winced "That looked painful. I tell you, that guy has the worst luck"

The guy was taken of the field (thankfully he could still walk) and the game resumed as normal.

"Hanging out with Hanako and the blonde though...you keep some pretty strange company"

"How so?" Her statement confused me.

"Well, I know that the Hisao guy hangs out with Lilly 'cause he likes her. I mean, everyone can see that. But Hanako...she's kind of...I dunno'"

"Shy?"

"No" (That was a surprising response) "It's not that. It's just...she's got some issues, I think. I can't really put it in a nice way" It was strange, seeing what was obviously a chatty girl lost for words "Not that I don't think she's a nice person, though. She's perfectly nice. Just...hard to deal with"

"Everyone has issues" I tried to say evenly. I considered myself hard to offend or anger, but I didn't appreciate it when I thought that people were offending my friends. I seemed to get offended on their behalf.

"I know that" Miki said.

"She's a nice person. That's all that matters. I'm not...I'm not perfect either so I think it works out"

Miki stared at me, a piercing stare that made me feel uncomfortable. Then she smiled "You really like her, don't you?"

I was stumped. Did I like her? Yes. Did I like, as in the strong  _like_ like, as in one step lower than the other L-word: Love. I always felt love was a strong word. Was that what she meant? I think that's what she was asking.

"Um...yeah. I think I do. Is that weird?"

"Nah" she shrugged "I think it's kind of cute. If you want to go for it, don't let me stop you"

"Um, okay" My face felt warm, warmer than normal anyway. Miki seemed to find that funny.

Seeing as it wouldn't be long before class started again, we decided to walk to class together.

"It sounds like you're settling in well" Miki said (she seemed like a chatty person) "That's a relief. It was pretty surprising to get transfer students at this point in the year, considering the exams coming up"

Exams. Every time I heard that word I wanted to curl up into a little ball. Miki must have seen the look on my face, because she gave me a another playful shove "Come on, man. Don't worry about them. Just cram it and you'll be fine"

"Does that work?"

Miki just shrugged again "You seem smart, and Mutou likes you. You're like a hand in a glove"

"I don't wear gloves"

She found that funny for some reason "Relax, man. Give it some time. It's just a high school, like any other"

"It's school" I said "School is stressful, no matter what"

She laughed again "You're not a bad guy, Kaito. I hope you have luck with Hanako"

Every time she said something, I felt like I only understood half of what she said  "Why would I need luck with Hanako?"

She just smiled and shook her head (two conflicting visual cues) "Never mind, man"

* * *

Eventually the day came when I was to go present-hunting with Lilly and Hisao. I found them outside the school gates, waiting for me. The pair seemed to have changed into more casual clothing; Hisao was in a kind of sweater-vest-combo-thing, while Lilly had a nice top that showed off her shoulders. I was still in school uniform (or the closest I got to it) so I looked really out of place.

"I think the bus will be here soon" Hisao noted after I said hello "We should probably get going"

"Indeed" Lilly nodded "It's a long wait if we miss it"

"Bus?" I repeated. I didn't like buses. I mean I really  _really_ didn't like buses. Don't ask me why, I don't think I could tell you why, but I would have rather made the entire trek on foot (hell, on a unicycle) than a bus.

"Yes" Lilly confirmed as we walked "It's a long journey on foot. Much easier to go by bus"

"Oh. Okay"

"You alright?" Hisao asked me. He must have noticed the look on my face.

"Just...don't like buses" I admitted.

"Beggars can't be choosers" he shrugged.

So we got the bus. It was cramped, it was warm, it was smelly.

The things I did for friends.

* * *

The city was huge, and so were the crowds. I kept close to the others, determined not to be separated in the sea of people. Lilly was holding onto Hisao's arm, her other hand holding her cane as it went  _tap-tap_ on the ground.

"You know," Hisao said out of nowhere "It was quite a surprise to hear that Hanako likes to sing"

I for one was inclined to agree with him.

"Have you ever heard her sing before?" he asked Lilly.

"I have indeed. We've been to karaoke sessions several times, along with my sister. I can't say I take to the activity much, the other two like it"

"I bet she has a nice voice" I muttered.

Lilly smiled. I guess she heard me.

"Maybe it would be nice to bring her into town for a karaoke party, if she likes doing it" Hisao suggested.

"I can't imagine she likes the city" I argued "Too many people"

"I'd have to agree with Kaito, sadly" Lilly said "I'm not sure she would deal with the excitement very well". She was quiet for a while before speaking again "Then again, the best thing we can do for Hanako at this point is to try and create some pleasant birthday memories"

"Then shouldn't we do something a bit more in her comfort zone" I complained, although no answered me so I just shut up.

"Do you have any idea where to start looking?" Lilly asked Hisao.

"This is my first time into the city" he shrugged "I have no idea"

Lilly was quiet, as if deep in thought, when she said "Has anyone had anything to eat recently?"

Both of us answered "No" so we all decided to go and get something to eat. Hisao directed us to a little café that sat in the sunlight, pie and tea aplenty.

"Is that lemon pie?" Lilly smelled the plate before her "Thank you, Hisao" (Hisao paid for the food)

"No problem" he smiled "The tea's just next to it, so be careful not to knock it over"

She nodded, although I got the impression she already knew where it was just from the ease she picked it up.

The three us ate in silence, not saying a word until the table was cleared of all food and drink.

Lilly was the first to speak "That was very nice. I must say you chose well, boys"

"Hisao was the one who picked it, really" I shrugged "It was nice though"

"I haven't been in the city before," Hisao sighed "Honestly, I just picked the place because it looked nice". He made a face like he'd just said something wrong "Oh, uh...sorry"

Lilly made an amused smile "You're thoughtful, Hisao, but sometimes I fear that it gets the better of you sometimes. There's no need to change your speech on my account"

I wasn't very sure what he had said wrong, but before I could ask the conversation had moved on "Have you been in the city often?" Hisao asked Lilly.

"I used to live in the city with my sister, before attending Yamaku" she nodded, before turning to address me "Tell me Kaito, what are your plans for the future?"

Well, that came from pretty left-field (or however the saying went) "Um...I don't know. I haven't thought about it really. I've never really thought that far ahead".

In truth, I never think very far ahead about anything. I was always a very "live-in-the-moment" kind of guy, even before my accident. After it, well, such long-term ideas were often confusing, and I tried my best to avoid what I deemed unnecessary stress. The day-to-day monotony of school was actually quite nice for me; I knew what was going to happen the next day, and I always enjoyed spending time with Hanako.

"This is your last year of school," Lilly reminded me in a tone that brought back memories of my mother's lectures "After this, you will have to fend for yourself one way or another"

"I know" I sighed with my head down, unable to look her in the eye.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out in time" Hisao said in an attempt to make me feel better. Can't say it worked.

Eventually, we went walking in search of presents again. We stopped for ice cream along the way. Hisao paid, for him and Lilly anyway. I had to pay for my own (sensing a bit of favouritism there).

I let Hisao and Lilly talk away to each other as I enjoyed my treat (Chocolate. Yum). I was just about finished when Hisao disrupted my daydream by shouting "Satou! Hey, Satou!"

I only knew the one Satou, so I was pretty baffled as to who he was calling to. I looked around a found a pair of strangers approaching us. One was a tall, blonde woman in a pinstripe suit, the other was a younger girl with big blue eyes and dark hair.

"Akira?" Lilly asked.

The older woman smiled at her "Hey, sis" (Oh, so this was Lilly's sister)

Akira nodded at Hisao, but paused when she saw me "Have we met?"

"Uh..." I was a little off-put by the reddish colour in her eyes "No"

"This is Kaito" Hisao introduced me "He's with us"

"Nice to meet you, Kaito" Akira said, taking my hand for a firm shake "Name's Akira..."

"Lilly's sister" I finished "Hanako told me about you"

A single eyebrow rose on the blonde woman's face "You're friends with Hanako?"

"Um...yeah"

She smiled "Good. Girl could always use more friends"

Her younger companion sighed as she plopped a hand on her head "I don't think we've met. I'm Hideaki. Pleased to meet you, Hisao and Kaito"

Good God, he was a guy!

"Oh," Lilly looked surprised "Is that Hideaki as well? Are you well?"

"Akira's been taking very good care of me, thank you" the effeminate boy nodded.

Akira smiled at the comment, ruffling the boy's hair in the process "Uncle's out on business again," she said "So I'm taking him around town today. I'd have preferred to be spending the day with my boyfriend, but..."

Hideaki coughed at an awkward, attention-seeking volume.

"Come to think of it," Hisao spoke "Hideaki, how do you know my name?"

"Akira told me" was his answer "Being a Yamaku student, I suppose you're disabled in some way?"

Wow. Even I had more tact than that. Hisao seemed to be having a similar reaction "Not everyone in Yamaku's disabled..." which was technically true, but students like Misha were the exception as opposed to the norm.

"You're dodging the question" Hideaki accused him.

"Leave him alone" I said, although I must not have said it loud enough because the kid ignored me.

"I'm guessing it's your heart?" (Personally, that was my guess too)

It seems we were both right "How did you..." Hisao seemed stunned.

"You show no missing limbs or deformities, so external disabilities are out. Considering the lack of any strange mannerisms, it's also unlikely that you'd have any mental disability"

"Yamaku doesn't take mentally disabled students anyway" Lilly said, which I didn't exactly agree with. Sure, no one at Yamaku had Down's Syndrome or were mentally retarded, but I wasn't exactly of intact mind, at least in regards to learning.

"I know," Hideaki said "Leaving that aside, the only possibility left is that of internal disabilities. I didn't know which one you might bear, so I guessed. Correctly, as it turns out"

I looked at Akira. She seemed to be thoroughly enjoying Hideaki's Sherlock scan.

"You remind me of someone..." Hisao noted.

Akira chuckled and gave Hideaki a jab with her elbow "Told you you're not that different from her"

"Who?" I asked.

Hideaki glared at Akira before readjusting his outfit "I see you must have met my sister. Perhaps my full name might help you. I am Hakamichi Hideaki. You're probably thinking of my older sister, Hakamichi Shizune"

Oh yeah, I could see a resemblance now. Not only did they kind of look alike, Hideaki also possessed Shizune's blunt but logical way of thinking.

"Lilly and Shizune are first cousins?" Hisao asked.

Lilly groaned. Loudly, I may add. It was very out-of-character.

Akira looked at her with an amused smirk "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. So what are you guys doing on this fine day"

"Shopping" I answered.

"We're shopping for Hanako's birthday presents" Lilly elaborated.

Akira made a funny face "Isn't her birthday on the tenth next month?"

"Yes" Lilly answered "Why? Is something wrong?"

"The folks didn't call you?"

Lilly shook her head.

Akira took a deep breath and turned to Hideaki "Hey Shorty, sorry, but could you hang with the guys for a while?"

The boy nodded an "Okay" so Akira took her little sister by the arm and guided her out of earshot, while Hisao and I were left with a stranger.

With nothing else to do, I started absentmindedly tapping away on a nearby railing, mind wandering as I pondered the meaning of life and other weird stuff. I hadn't realised Hisao and Hideaki had started talking to each other until I heard a "Kaito?" from Hisao.

"Huh?"

"We're going to look for presents" Hisao said "You coming with us?"

I mean that's why we came to the city in the first place. So with a nodded "Sure" we went off walking in search of good presents, eventually coming across an old antique store. It was full of little porcelain dolls, stuffed animals and statues, and that was all that was just visible in the window.

"How about here?" Hisao asked everyone. I shrugged in response, seeing as I didn't have any better idea. Hideaki just kept walking.

"I'll be in the newsstand for a while" he said "Don't mind me"

"See you" I said quietly.

The inside of the store kind of reminded me of the office in my parents house; a small pocket of old-ness that didn't really look like it belonged in the rest of the city. Nothing was really laid out in a specific order, at least not in any ordered rows or anything. The man behind the counter was some old guy. He gave us a quick glance as we entered, only to give us a polite nod as he returned to his book.

The pair of us spread out through the shop. I was getting more and more frustrated as I failed to find anything. I found a chessboard, but she already had one so I didn't see much point in getting her another.

My attention was drawn by the sudden sound of music. It was a simple, sweet melody. My head darted around to find the source, only for my vision to land on Hisao. He was looking at something, some kind of small wooden box (probably a music box, given the sound). It was a soothing tune. 

"That's nice" I commented.

Hisao jumped a bit, obviously he hadn't heard me approach "God, man" he muttered "You spooked me"

"Sorry" I pointed to the box "You getting that?"

"Yeah" he nodded "Planning on giving  _this_ thing to Hanako" he handed me what looked like a porcelain doll. It was dressed in some kind of western dress, making Victorian, and it had yellow-y hair.

"Look likes Lilly" I noted.

"I thought that. Lilly told me she once got Hanako a doll as a present. She keeps it in her room or something. I thought it'd look better if she had another"

I nodded, understanding his logic. The doll did look nice.

"Did you find anything?" Hisao asked me.

"No" I shook my head. Although I did have an idea about what I could give her. I told Hisao my plan. He seemed to think it was alright.

The pair of us made our way to the counter, laying Hisao's purchases out for the old man. The guy seemed surprised to see guys our age in his shop, and he may have given my fake hand a funny look, but he accepted Hisao's money and bowed as we left, so I guess it was all okay.

Hideaki was standing right outside the door when we left, so I wound up walking into him. "Watch it" he grumbled.

"Sorry"

"...Hey Hideaki" Hisao said, a faint grimace on his face like he didn't really want Hideaki there "I thought you'd be at the newsstand?"

"Akira gave me a call" Hideaki said "She's waiting for us at the fountain with Lilly"

Well, at least that meant less searching. It didn't take long for the three of us to make our way to the fountain. Hideaki walked in such a stiff manner I offhandedly wondered if his spine was made of wood.

The two sisters were by the fountain as said, their blonde hair making them easy to spot in the crowd. Both their faces were kind of hard to read, although Akira did brighten up when she'd caught sight of us.

"Hey" she waved "You ready to go Shorty?"

Hideaki re-joined her side with a strange smile, or maybe it was just his natural smile (he didn't seem like he smiled often).

"See you, guys" Akira smiled "Tell Hanako I said Happy Birthday"

"We will" Hisao promised "Bye"

"Goodbye, Akira" Lilly said

"Bye" I said

And like that, they were gone, and it was just the three of us again. Lilly was carrying a bag I did not recognise.

"Already bought a present?" Hisao asked her.

"Hmm?" Lilly seemed lost in thought "Oh right, yes. Have you?"

"Yeah" Hisao nodded.

"No" I said, hanging my head in a pretty shameful way "I have an idea"

"Oh?" Lilly looked intrigued.

"I can paint," I said "So I think I want to try and make something for her, as a gift"

"That's a nice idea" she smiled "I'm sure Hanako would appreciate something like that"

"Should we head back to the bus stop then?" Hisao asked.

"Yeah," I nodded with a yawn "I'm pretty tired"

"Very well," Lilly's voice was quite quiet "Shall we be off"

As we walked back, I found myself actually taking the time to look at the taller buildings, now that I was a bit more relaxed. The towers were tall and the city was crowded, but at least it didn't smell as bad as the other cities I had been in. Smells tended to stay with me for a long time. The clouds were nice today. Small wisps of white against a clear blue sky...

"Kaito, you listening to this?" Hisao nudged me with his shoulder, pulling me out of my reverie.

"Huh?"

"I was just saying that Hanako's party will have to be held a little earlier than usual" Lilly said.

That was weird to me. Birthday parties were meant to be held on the birthday, otherwise what was the point? Kind of ruined the whole "birthday" part of the party if you asked me.

Lilly's voice stopped my inner monologue as she asked "Is the fourth okay for you, Kaito?"

"Um, yeah. I think so"

"Good" she said, her voice sounding very distant. Her face puzzled me. I was so used to seeing a smile on her face that it seemed completely alien to see her without one. She wasn't smiling, but she wasn't really frowning either. Her face twitched every now and then like it wanted to do one or the other, but she was trying to keep her features still (like I said, strange).

"Are...Are you um, okay?" I asked, my voice hesitant.

"I..." she looked like she was about to answer, but she turned to address Hisao instead "Sorry, Hisao, you said the bus was coming soon?"

"Yeah" Hisao nodded, but now he was looking at Lilly funny. I think he was starting to realise something was up as well.

He looked at me, then back to Lilly "Lilly, are you doing anything else today?"

"No. Why?"

Hisao looked at me "Hey man, I know this might be weird, but are okay going back to school by yourself?"

Alone? Without them? That was...I mean I couldn't...I would have to go on the bus, the  _bus_ , by myself. I hated buses. I'd have to pay the driver myself. I couldn't...I...I had the feeling that I was going to have to deal with it. Lilly was upset about something and Hisao wanted to help. He must have thought I would be distracting or something. That depressed me a little, but he was probably right. He and Lilly spent a lot of time together, she'd probably be comfortable with him alone, like Hanako was with me.

Hanako. That's right. I had to start on my gift for Hanako anyway.

"Yeah. Sure. I've got to um...start on Hanako's uh, gift" I cringed a little at my delivery, but Hisao smiled.

"Thanks, man" He turned to Lilly "This is the point where I'd normally take your hand and rush you somewhere, but even without that you'll have to trust me. Okay?"

"Um, okay?" Lilly seemed uncertain "Are you sure you'll be fine, Kaito?"

I nodded "Yeah. I'll be fine"

So Hisao led her away by the hand, and I got on the bus. I had to concentrate on my breathing, and I was sure the driver gave me a funny look, but he took the money and the bus left without incident. It was quiet, which was a relief. Still smelled though, and the rumbling made my teeth vibrate (a sensation I didn't like).

I hoped Lilly would be feeling better by the time they got back, otherwise I'd have had endured all this stress for nothing.

I made a beeline for my room once I got back. My last painting, a little bird that I had seen that one time, had dried so I gently took it off my little easel and laid it to the side. I wouldn't give that to Hanako. No, that was just a little side-job. A bit of fun.

No, this one would be special. A real job. A real attempt.


	13. Breakdown

**"All women have insecurities and bad times. What counts is how you overcome them"  
** Irina Shayk

* * *

Well, I was a dead man.

At least that's how I felt. I wasn't too sure when I had exactly fell asleep the night before (I was working on Hanako's painting) but when I rose from slumber I was too tired to even do my memory-thing.

Mutou seemed to be suffering a similar dilemma. Class that day comprised of him merely reading questions from a textbook in the world's dullest voice. I was sure I was going to fall asleep at some point but my leg (my fake leg) had started itching. It was really distracting.

I was tracing the lines in the wood of my desk again when I heard the teacher call out a name:

"Ikezawa?"

Wait, that was Hanako's name.

Hanako jumped to her feet as the class turned its eyes on her, including my own. She didn't run away, so progress "Y-Yes"

"In this particular example of a redox reaction, the combustion of methane actually produces one more product than is listed" Mutou said "That product is...?"

Personally, I had no idea. Hanako took her time answering, biting her lower lip before she said "Um...h-heat?"

"Well done" the teacher smiled "This is an exothermic reaction, with the reaction giving more heat than is put into it"

I smiled at Hanako, although I don't think she saw me. She slumped back into her seat with a relieved sigh, here eyes cast downwards.

"Right then," Mutou spoke "For the remainder of this class I'd like you to work in groups answering the questions in chapter 12. I'll be here if you need me" And with that, he sat at his desk and started writing something (I was assuming paperwork).

"Well, I suppose we have our group then" Hisao sighed next to me, gesturing to the grinning faces of Misha and Shizune. 

I struggled to suppress a groan. This was going to be painful.

"Hicchan! Kaito!" Misha smiled "You want to work together? That's great! It's really been a while!"

I gritted my teeth at the sound of her voice as well as the sound of desks being dragged around me. It was during times like these I had to wonder if being deaf could actually be a blessing. At least with Hisao and Shizune working together I'd wouldn't have to put in too much work (those two could do the whole thing together).

My eyes wandered around the classroom, widening in surprise as I noticed Hanako approach us.

"Good afternoon, Hanako!" Misha called upon seeing her.

"Um..." Hanako froze in her tracks "Hello"

It took Shizune a while to realise what everyone was looking at, but when she saw Hanako she tapped on Misha's shoulder and started signing away "Good afternoon, Ikezawa. I'm afraid our group's a little bit big. Perhaps you could find another?"

Hanako's face fell as she turned away. I didn't like that.

"Wait" I said. Hanako turned to look at me "Do you want to join us?"

Hanako's face went a bit red as she nodded, although Misha's grating voice spoke once again "Kaito, while your offer is nice, our group already comprises of four people. Five may be a bit much for this activity"

"I want her to join us"

"Come on, Shizune" Hisao said "One more helping hand isn't going to hurt. Besides, Mutou never insisted on a limit to group sizes"

Shizune and Misha shared a look before replying "Very well then. Hanako, if you wish, you are welcome to join us"

Hanako nodded and left to drag her desk over. Misha and Shizune said something to Hisao but I wasn't really listening to that. I was just happy that Hanako was joining in with the group work. I got the feeling she didn't do it often.

Her eyes kept to the floor as she sat with us. Confused as to why, my gaze wandered to find that several people were looking at our group with curious expressions. That irritated me. What was so damn interesting about Hanako joining in with the group work? They never batted an eye when she'd leave class, but now that she's actually trying to make an effort they're going to act like she's done something wrong? Did they really have nothing else to chat about?

"Hey Kaito" Hisao nudged my shoulder "You alright?"

I realised I must have been making a face. Making a conscious effort to unclench my fist, I merely replied "I'm fine"

"It's nice to finally work with you, Hanako!" Misha smiled as we spread out our textbooks. She seemed insistent on making conversation.

"Y-Yeah" Hanako said

Shizune smirked and signed something "Are you the reason the boys have been avoiding us lately? Shicchan says it's a little rude, but if Kaito or Hicchan wanted to spend some time with a cute girl it's understandable!"

Hanako's blushed again, head still held low while she fidgeted "I-I don't th-think it's like that"

"Really?" Misha looked shocked "So neither of them were hanging out with you yesterday?"

"N...No..."

I squirmed a little in my seat. I didn't like the look of Hanako appearing so uncomfortable. I also didn't really want to have to explain where I was the other day. Lilly had asked us to stay quiet about it.

"I was with Lilly" Hisao said. His cover was easy. He was always with Lilly, so no one batted an eyelid at that answer.

"That doesn't explain Kaito's whereabouts!" Misha declared, pointing her finger like she was Phoenix Wright or something "Where were  _you_ yesterday?"

"Um..." My brain struggled to come up with stories on its best days, let alone in my currently frazzled, sleepy state "Elsewhere?"

If anything, I appeared to have made the two girls even more interested in my whereabouts, even Hanako seemed like she was trying to figure it out.

"Really?" Misha stroked in her chin as if she was combing an invisible beard "I wonder what was so important that you would not spend time with anyone, not even Hanako. It's really interesting..."

"W...Were you with Lilly as w-well?" Hanako asked.

I gave a quick look to Hisao. He seemed just as worried about Hanako figuring it out.

"Um....Why would you uh, think that?" I asked.

"Yesterday, Lilly s-said something s-similar"

Damn.

Shizune smiled with glee "Suspicious! Kaito, I demand that you explain yourself!"

"Hey," Hisao spoke up, thankfully intent on changing the subject "Shouldn't we be doing this assignment?"

"But it's so mysterious!" Misha whined "Even Hanako wants to know!"

My eyes hadn't left Hanako, and it was true. I didn't see a way out of telling the truth, although that didn't stop me from making an absolute fool of myself (I never did like breaking promises) "Nowhere! It was nothing I-I-I...I wasn't anywhere with-"

"Kaito," Hisao sighed "It's alright". He looked at the girls, defeated "I went into town with Lilly, and Kaito came along. Lilly asked us to keep quiet about it because we were..." he sighed again "...because we were shopping for presents, presents for Hanako's birthday"

There was a heavy silence throughout the group. Shizune and Misha shared a disappointed look (I guess they were expecting some juicy gossip of some kind). Misha looked to Hanako, who's own face seemed have turned very upset very fast. It wasn't a weepy-kind of upset though, I didn't really have a word for it.

"Hanako?" Misha's voice was uncharacteristically quiet "I'm sorry..."

Hanako shook her head "I-It's...okay..."

That was it! I recognised her expression. It was tiredness. She looked tired, completely drained. It was weird.

"Sorry..." I started to say, only for my words to fail me. I didn't want to risk upsetting her further.

With the conversation now dead, everyone went about answering the questions. Well, I didn't. My gaze was locked on Hanako. She wasn't moving. She just stared at the paper, pencil in hand, making no effort to start.

"Hey, Hanako" Misha spoke "Do you understand any of this?"

"I-I...um...n-not really...I g-guess" she answered, her entire body tensing up. When Misha looked away she breathed out again, like a deflating balloon.

Misha smiled and talked her through the question step-by-step, like Hisao had done for her a while back. Hanako nodded when she asked if she understood.

Misha looked away to focus on her own work. Hanako still didn't move.

"Hanako?" My voice seemed so quiet, barely a whisper.

I didn't get a response so I tried again "Hanako?" a little clearer than before. The others looked at me, then to her, concern beginning to settle on their faces. I guess they were starting to figure, like me, that Hanako was being unnervingly withdrawn, even for her.

"Hanako?" Misha's voice was actually quite soothing when she wasn't being loud "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Y-Yes" was her robotic reply.

"Are you sure?" Hisao asked.

"I'm fine"

I didn't believe her, but I didn't know what else to do. She turned her head away, her gaze falling to the floor, not looking anyone in the eye. 

Everyone went back to their work. Hanako still didn't move, didn't make a sound. She was worrying me.

I started to twitch; fingers tapping the desk, my leg bouncing. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say.

Say something, said a voice in my head demanded (I don't know whether it was willing me or Hanako). Say something!

Shizune seemed to take notice first, looking at me with this frustrated look before seeing Hanako.

"Kaito, you've barely done any work! And Hanako, you're being too quiet! You have to contribute too! Someday, we might work on a bigger project, like one that's so big it's worth celebrating afterwards, like with ice cream or cake. If you act like this, we won't take you along"

I'm not sure what she and Misha were trying to do, but I also didn't think whatever they were doing was helpful. If anything, Hanako looked worse.

"Don't..." My words seemed to get caught in my throat "Don't say that"

"Kaito," Misha smiled "It's all in good fun! Shicchan teases everyone!"

"Not Hanako" I grumbled.

Regardless of whether or not they heard me, the pair of them and went back to work. I tried to make an effort as well but my groggy brain couldn't make sense of the questions, and I kept getting distracted by Hanako. She still hadn't moved.

"Hey, the clock's ticking down" Hisao noted "We should probably hurry this up"

"Hicchan!" Misha chuckled "You sounded a little like Shicchan there..."

"Just because I looked at my watch? Jeez, is that all it really takes?"

Any more conversation soon died however as everyone finally recognised the trouble that I had noticed (what felt like) ages ago:

Hanako's pencil hung uselessly in her hand, not even twirling like she would normally do when she was thinking. The paper before her was blank, not a single thing had been written. Her head hung low, her eyes wide and absolutely panicked. 

Everyone dropped their gaze but me. I couldn't look away, no matter how much I wanted to. It was like I was watching a car crash unfold; knowing that something was terribly wrong yet powerless to do anything.

"H...Hanako?" The concern in my voice could not be any clearer. 

People from the other groups had started to look over. I tried to will them to stop looking, but I couldn't even look at them. I couldn't look away from Hanako, even though my gaze was probably the last thing she wanted.

Misha kept asking her what was wrong, any semblance of volume control lost to the wind. Her voice could be heard from every corner of the classroom. I wanted to snap at her, to tell her to shut up, but I couldn't get my voice to work.

Hanako's eyes were closed now, silent tears streaking down her face.

"Hanako?" I'm not even sure I was asking a question, or even if I was saying it aloud. I wanted to help her, to calm her, but I had no idea how. The class was watching us now, and any attempt to help would only bring more unwanted attention.

Hisao looked uncomfortable, Misha looked really worried, Shizune looked concerned and God only knows how I looked. None of us knew how to deal with a breakdown like Hanako's.

Hisao called Mutou over as quietly as he could. Hanako didn't even look like she was breathing. I was scared.

Mutou began to ask us what was wrong, but he stopped the moment he laid eyes on Hanako.

"Did..." Misha's had gone quiet again "Did we upset her?"

"Don't worry" Mutou said.

Don't worry? Don't fucking worry? How could I not do anything but worry? Hanako, the closest thing I had to a friend was having a breakdown less than five feet away from me, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it! How was I meant to feel if not worried?

Mutou gave Hanako a close look before speaking, his voice loud enough to be heard by the onlookers "Hi, Ikezawa. Can I help you at all?"

Naturally, Hanako didn't answer him. Mutou laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, which only caused her to start violently shaking. I wanted to leap out of my chair, to try and do  _something_ , but I knew there wasn't anything I could really do. Hanako's eyes seemed glazed over, like she was off in her own little world.

Mutou grimaced as he straightened, his voice clear as he said "Is that it? Nothing's wrong then?"

I wanted to complain that something was obviously very wrong, but some of the people around us had gone back to their work, their interest lost, so I guess Mutou knew what he was doing.

"I think," Mutou spoke "For Ikezawa's sake, that it would be good to quickly take somewhere away from others. Nakai, Hakamichi, could you please take Ikezawa out of the classroom? I'll keep everyone settled, so please don't worry about anything but her, okay?" He looked to Misha to translate, but she was already done.

Nodding, Hisao and Shizune got to their feet and went to either side of Hanako, gently lifting her to her feet and leading her outside. They had to move slowly, and I was all too aware of the eyes of others on them as they left. I had to grind my teeth and remind myself to breathe just so I wouldn't get angry.

"You think she'll be okay?" Misha asked me.

I didn't reply. I couldn't. The only sign I had heard her was the speed of the  _taptaptap_ of my fingers on the desk.

Shizune came back inside a little bit later, sitting down as if nothing was wrong. Misha frantically signed a question, to which she responded "Hisao's taking her to the nurse". I was silent, but I nodded to show I understood.

Hisao came back a few minutes later. My eyes immediately met his, asking the silent but obvious question.

"Nurse says to let her rest" he said "We can check on her later this evening. They'll have moved her back to her dorm by then"

I nodded, still unable to form words. It was going to be a very long day.

* * *

"Smith" came Mutou's voice "Can I speak to you outside?". He left without bothering to look at me.

Wordlessly, I joined him outside.

"I can imagine this must be difficult for you" he said "You appear to be an empathetic sort"

I'm not sure what he meant by that, so I just nodded.

"Tell me Smith, do you know what the purpose of this school is?"

"Um..." I'm wasn't quite sure where that question came from "To um..." my throat felt dry as I tried to speak "To uh, help those with special needs"

Mutou gave a sad look as he shook his head "If that was all we wanted then we could rebuild the school right now. One floor, interactive whiteboards and call it a day. No, what we're here for is to grant you the opportunities you wouldn't have in any other school"

"Huh?"

"Think of it this way. If we wanted you to graduate and go straight back into hospital, do you think we'd put in this much effort?"

"I...guess not"

Mutou nodded "That's right. We want you all to leave here as useful members of society"

"Oh. Okay"

"I see potential in you, Smith. Maybe not in the field of science, but from I have been told by your other teachers you have much untapped potential in your other subjects. Potential that could take you to a university. Have you ever considered that?"

I suppose I should have been honoured or touched by his words, but I hadn't thought about university in a long, long time. Long before even my accident. "Not in a while"

"Well, what _have_ you considered? For your future, that is?"

"I..." I wanted to be honest with him, but I knew that wasn't the answer he wanted to hear. It was just like when Lilly asked me the other day. I had spent ages in hospital just learning how use my limbs again. I was enjoying each day as it came. I didn't know what would happen in a week, let alone what would happen at the year. That uncertainty scared me, a lot.

Mutou seemed to take my silence as an answer and sighed "Think of this place as an opportunity. Here you have boundless facilities, good teachers, plus the added bonus of the nurse and his staff. You should be nothing  _but_ thinking of the future"

I wasn't really listening, instead voicing a question that had long since bugged me "Why does no one care when Hanako doesn't come to class, or when she leaves class?"

"Smith," Mutou sighed again "It's not really simple to explain. Every student has special needs; if it weren't for that then we wouldn't have a school here. For example, I wouldn't keep you in class if you were having trouble breathing, would I?"

"But..."

Whatever I was going to say was cut off by Mutou, who kept speaking "Ikezawa's case is very much like that, but instead of CPR or a pacemaker what she needs is time and space. The faculty was made aware of this from the day she arrived, thus whenever she feels the need to leave class, we let her do so. And even though she isn't a star pupil, she passes all of her exams, so it hasn't affected her ability to study. Isn't that enough?"

"I...I guess so"

"I understand that you might not be used to this kind of thing yet. It's been a big change for you. That said, it's less than a year until graduation now. Maybe you won't have to get used to this school. If you keep your head down, I'm sure you'll do well enough in your exams"

I nodded. "What...What about Hanako?"

Mutou had to take a moment to think of an answer "I believe...well, I  _hope_ , that she will perform well enough to do what she wants to do. What that is, I don't know. Not all students leave school with an idea of what they want to do, unfortunately"

Personally, I figured I one of those people. I had no idea what to do with my life. The pair of us stood in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time, Mutou finally taking it upon himself to break it:

"Like I said, this day must have been very troublesome for you and I doubt you'll be able to concentrate after all that's happened, so I'll allow you to take the rest of the day off. Despite your poor work ethic in class, your grades are still good so I don't think you'll have any problem catching up. Go collect your things. I'll see you tomorrow"

"Oh. Okay, thanks"

My mind wandered as I collected my things. I wanted to say that I understood Hanako and that I could help her with her problems, but I was starting to understand that I had no idea what I was talking about.

Once back in my room, I wondered about Hanako and my bond with her, or lack thereof. I knew almost nothing about her, or least the things that mattered. She told me about her accident, but only in the briefest details. I didn't know anything about her family, if she even  _had_ a family. What was her old school like? Her friends? Wishes? Ambitions? Favourite music, food, movies? All the little things a real friend would know and yet I knew nothing. Just what the hell have I been doing all this time?

I was angry. I was confused. I was upset.

I looked at my fake hand. I stared at it and tried to make a fist. The digits twitched, but it didn't form the shape I wanted: a white-knuckled fist to match its other.

I slammed it down onto my table. And again. And again and again until I heard a crack and a sudden lack of pressure on my arm. With a pop, I watched as my prosthesis fell off and clattered onto the carpet. It never really worked all that well, and now it was broken.

Like a floodgate had opened in my chest, I started to cry. Not quiet, silent tears like in the movies, I meant loud, heaving sobs like a child. I sank to my knees, hand holding on to the stump that was left of my left arm, a criss-cross patchwork of scar tissue ending just under the elbow. A mess of flesh under a clean, flawless fake. There was probably something symbolic there.

The bells rang, I didn't care. My phone rang, I didn't care. Hours must have ticked by as I sat there, back against the bed, eyes red and nose running.

A knock at the door finally grabbed my attention "Kaito?" It was Hisao "You in there? I tried to call you, but you didn't answer"

"Come in" I called out, my voice raspy.

Hisao opened the door and looked at me, the broken hand on the floor and back to me "You okay?"

"...No"

Hisao sighed "Lilly called me. She wants to talk to us"

Slowly I rose to my feet, wiping my nose with an old shirt I found on the floor "Okay" I sighed.

Hisao kept looking my stump as we walked to Lilly's. I guess it was the first time he had properly seen it. I had always been wearing my fake hand before.

We found Lilly in her room, sitting on her bed with a saddened look.

"We're both here" Hisao announced us.

Lilly nodded "How are you, Kaito?"

I took a shaky breath "I'll be fine". My voice was a little stronger now, although I did sound like I had a cold.

While Hisao recounted the events of what happened in class to Lilly, I relived the moments in my mind. I was still looking back, trying to see whether or not I could have done more to help. I couldn't find anything, but that didn't really convince me otherwise.

"I see" Lilly sighed "She said her therapy sessions were helping, but I had my doubts. It's quite a shame. Her birthday has caused problems, but I had hoped that she would have improved with more friends and more intensive therapy. Where is Hanako now?"

"Last time I saw her she was in the infirmary" Hisao answered "She's probably gone back to her room by now. You said you had bad news as well?"

If it were possible, Lilly's face seemed to grow even sadder "My aunt has fallen gravely ill. I'm afraid I'm going to be heading back to Scotland to visit her, and to spend some time with my family"

Well, that was a bombshell "When do you go?" I asked.

"Saturday"

"How is your aunt?" Hisao asked.

"She is...stable"

So that meant she was in the hospital. I suppose that was better than dead.

"Stable's a relief" Hisao said.

Lilly smiled at him, if only a little "Unfortunately, I'll miss Hanako's birthday party"

"That's why you wanted the party earlier" I realised.

"Indeed"

"I suppose this makes it a going-away party as well" Hisao noted.

"You make it sound like I won't be coming back" Lilly said "I'll only be gone for a week, two at most"

"That's nice" I commented.

"What did you do for her birthday last year?" Hisao asked.

"Last year..." Lilly's face fell again "Last year I literally couldn't get her out of her room. She'd locked the door. All I could do was leave food outside, making sure she was at least eating well"

It was far worse than I had thought. If Lilly, Hanako's closest friend, couldn't help her, then what chance did anyone else have?

"Perhaps it would be better to throw the party before you leave then?" Hisao suggested.

"That does sound like the easiest option" Lilly agreed.

"Hanako should know" I said "This happened because we didn't tell her. It can't happen again"

Lilly rose from the bed "Very well. Shall we go and visit her now?"

We did. I personally couldn't wait to see her. I was worried, although it occurred to me then that I probably looked terrible as well.

We arrived to find her door unlocked. We entered to find her room in darkness. All the lights were off. The room itself was pretty bare: Nothing hung from the walls, there were only a few books and papers lying around and everything was either a monochrome black or white.

Hanako herself was curled up on her bed. She wasn't crying anymore, but the tell-tale signs of red eyes and marked cheeks remained.

Hisao carefully put her things down while Lilly called out to her "Hello Hanako. Hisao told me about what happened today...are you alright?"

Hanako moved only the slightest to look at us "I...I'm okay. S-Sorry...f-for making you w-worry. R-Really...I'm f-fine now"

She wasn't  _fine_ , but she was calm, and was in the mood to accept the little victories. She still looked really frail, as if she could be broken with the slightest touch.

"Don't be sorry" I said "Never be sorry. Not for this"

"Yeah" Hisao sighed "We shouldn't have hidden something like this from you"

Lilly moved to Hanako's bedside, crouching down to a rough eye level "I'm the one who should be sorry, Hanako"

Hanako looked at her for a long time before sitting up, Lilly eventually moving to take a seat beside her. Gently, Lilly took the other girl's hand. It was in those intimate, sisterly moments between them that I was reminded of how much I felt like an outsider.

"Do you want us to go?" Hisao asked.

"No" Hanako's voice rang out in the silence "I don't...want that..."

And so we stayed. I sat on the floor while Hisao took the desk chair. We sat there while Lilly broke the bad news to her friend, and we tried to appease her with a small tea party to mark Lilly's trip away instead of a birthday party. I had never seen act so stressed out about a birthday party, but as the day was making more and more painfully clear, I didn't really know Hanako all that well.

"We'll let you rest" Hisao said, rising from the chair "Come on, Kaito". I followed him out.

Lilly stayed a little longer "You know that if you ever want anything, you can always talk to me or Hisao or Kaito, right?" she asked Hanako.

"I...understand. Thank you"

Lilly smiled as she left "Goodnight, Hanako"

"Night..."

I exhaled a big sigh of relief as the door closed behind us "She's okay"

Lilly however did not. She looked pale. "Are you alright?" Hisao asked her.

"Just tired" she sighed "It's been...hectic recently"

Hisao placed a hand on her shoulder "Try and get some sleep, okay?"

"I will" she smiled "Goodnight, boys"

We bade her goodnight and returned to our dorms. I nearly tripped over my prosthesis in the dark. I'd have to speak to the Nurse about a potential replacement.

I was not looking forward to that conversation. 


	14. Recovery

**"Just keep taking chances and having fun"  
** Garth Brooks

* * *

The nurse wasn't very happy about my broken hand, my fake hand. He gave me a big lecture on how he "expected me to be careful" and how he thought I was "more sensible than that". Admittedly, he was nicer about it than I expected him to be. He said he'd try and organise the construction of a replacement but he did tell me it would take a while, which didn't really surprise me (the old one had taken months to build after all, and it had been buggy as hell). Until then I'd have to make do with only the one hand, which wasn't that different from what I already had been doing.

I spent what felt like a long time in my room that morning, spinning my arm in a circle. Without my fake hand half of my shirt-sleeve hung uselessly, so I was spinning it around like a ribbon, It was entertaining.

* * *

Hanako wasn't in class. That made me sad, although I wasn't really surprised. She was upset, it would take her time before she was feeling up to class again.

I still missed her. Every now and then I would look over my shoulder to look at her desk, as if I was expecting her to magically appear. It was foolish. I'm not sure what was up with me.

Class had just ended when I felt a sharp pain in my side. It was Misha with a pencil.

"Ow," I grunted "What was that for?"

"You were drifting off into space" she smiled as if my pain amused her "For a moment I thought you were talking to alien life"

I'm not sure if she actually believed I was capable of such a feat. I mean, it sounded like a joke but I was never 100% sure with those things. I yawned, a big-open-mouthed-lion-yawn. I was tired. I didn't sleep well. It had taken forever to fall asleep, and even then my dreams weren't kind. I had my nightmare again.

"Are you okay?" Misha asked me "Yesterday kinda rattled me as well..."

I shrugged, unsure how to respond. I still wasn't really forgiving myself for how little I did to help Hanako during her panic attack, despite Hisao telling me that I shouldn't feel too bad given that none of us really knew what to do. I wasn't listening to him though, my inner voices were louder.

"I miss her" I muttered.

"Did you see her last night?" she asked.

"Yeah," I nodded "We all did"

"Hey Misha," came Hisao's voice from the other side of me "This might sound a bit weird, but can you tell Shizune "thank you"? From all of us"

Misha signed the message to her friend, who responded with a frown, red cheeks and quick hand movements. She looked a bit angry.

"She said "you're welcome"" Misha translated. I got the impression that wasn't the full message but I couldn't be bothered to ask further. Hisao for his part seemed to find it funny, given how he chuckled.

"What's so funny, Hicchan?" Misha asked "Was it something we said?"

"No, no. That's not it" he smiled "I was simply thinking about how cute Shizune can be at times"

"Wahahaha! You're right! Shicchan is really cute, even when she tries not to be!"

Shizune signed something else to the girl (her face was a little less red at that point) "Oh. How would you boys like to join us for dinner?"

I won't deny that I was tempted, free food and all that, but as polite as they were I didn't really want to spend tons of time with them (that sounded meaner than I meant). Not to mention that I was still worried about Hanako, I wanted to check on her later "No thanks"

"I'll have to pass as well" Hisao said.

The girls seemed disappointed "Aww..." Misha whined "Oh well. It's your choice"

"Maybe we could join you another time?" Hisao suggested, looking at me for a response.

"...Maybe"

* * *

Like I had planned, I found myself in front of Hanako's door later that day. Weirdly, I felt nervous. There was a lump in my throat as I knocked twice. I was trying really hard not to bounce up and down from the nerves. 

There wasn't a response for a really long time. I was about to walk away when the door made the faintest rattle. The door only opened the slightest amount, but I could see the light shining in Hanako's eye as she stared at me.

I managed a nervous smile. I had only just occurred to me that I probably didn't look all that well. My hair was its usual mess, I probably had bags under my eyes and I was pretty sure there was paint on my face (I had tried to hold a paintbrush in my mouth. It ended like you'd expect).

It was quiet. Neither of us attempted to speak. I couldn't really see Hanako's face, so I had no idea what she was thinking.

Eventually, the door opened as I was allowed inside. The room seemed brighter than it was the other day, although it was still very empty. There was a fruity smell in the air, probably shampoo given that Hanako's hair looked damp.

It wasn't until the door was closed behind me that it occurred to me that I was alone. With Hanako. In her bedroom. I wanted to say something, anything to break the silence, but I was having a hard time getting my thoughts in order. She smelled nice.

"Why..." Hanako finally spoke.

"Huh?"

"Why did you..." Hanako's voice was quiet, even in the silence "Why are you here?"

Why  _was_ I there? I was worried about her, I felt better when I saw her, but now that I had I had no idea what else to do. I should probably have had thought it through a bit more before I went knocking on her door. I guess that was a problem I had; not thinking things through, or thinking too much. I wasn't very good at following plans through either. I think I'm getting side-tracked.

I wanted to see her smile, but I had no idea how to do that. I wanted to be her friend, but I had no idea how to do that. I wanted to have a conversation with her like a normal human being but now because of everything that I had happened I was too nervous to say a word.

"I um...uh...I'm sorry. I just uh..." I hung my head, defeated by my own nerves "I don't know. I just...wanted to see you, I guess"

I looked up to find, to my surprise, that she was actually smiling at me. It made my chest feel a bit warmer.

"Um..." she said "Since you're here...I'd like to...play a game of chess with you"

I smiled at that. Chess was good. I knew how to play chess. Chess was familiar. Familiar was good "Okay"

We played sitting on the floor, not a single word passing between us until...

"Check" Hanako said "What...What happened to your hand?"

I was confused for a moment (I was pretty sure I had already told her the story) before I realised she was talking about my lack of fake-hand "Uh..." I was a little uncomfortable about my own little breakdown "I just...broke it. Nurse says it can be replaced, but it's gonna take a while"

"Oh" she said in response "Were you painting?" gesturing towards my face (I knew I had paint there!).

"Yes"

It wasn't long before the match ended (Hanako won). As we were setting the pieces up for a rematch I found myself blurting out "I like you"

Hanako's reaction gave me pause. Her eyebrows went skyward and her cheeks turned pink.

"I mean...you're a good friend" I stammered "I...I enjoy our time together. Times like these, it's...it's nice. I like these moments"

"I..." Hanako's voice was equally hesitant "I like you too, Kaito" 

* * *

Eventually the night of Hanako's party arrived, and Hisao and I made our way there together. We were both in more casual clothing than our school uniforms, Hisao in his favourite shirt-sweater combo while I had opted for the much more manageable t-shirt and jogging pants (at least they were clean).

"How do I look?" Hisao asked me out of the blue as we climbed the stairs.

I figured this was a question I had to answer "The same"

Hisao didn't seem to like that answer. He groaned and tried to flatten his hair (again). I didn't work (again).

"Why's it such a big deal?" I asked "It's just Lilly and Hanako" I myself wasn't feeling too self-conscious that night. I had washed, my clothes were clean and I had managed to dress myself without incident or swearing. I was taking the little victories in stride.

"Exactly! Lilly and Hanako. They're waiting for us, probably looking as great as ever, and we'll be looking like a pair of tramps"

"We always look like this" I noted, not really understanding his frustration. Hisao just grunted something and didn't say anything else until we got to Lilly's door.

"Hisao? Kaito? Is that you?" came Lilly's voice upon Hisao's knock.

"Yeah, it's us" he answered.

There was a clicking sound (the door unlocking, probably) and we were let in. Just as I had hoped, Hanako's party was set out just like another tea party: the four of us seated around the table and the funny red teapot. Hisao locked the door again at Lilly's request, and we all took our seats.

"Hey, Lilly?" Hisao spoke.

Lilly took a sip of her tea before answering "Yes, Hisao?"

"What's in the brown bag?" he pointed to a brown paper bag that sat Lilly's left. I hadn't noticed it when we came in, but now it had been pointed out I was curious.

"That would be Akira's present" Lilly answered "Unfortunately, she said she was working and can't join us". She reached inside the bag and pulled out its contents: Two bottles.

"Wine" Hanako noted. One white, one red. Probably explained why the door was locked. Alcohol wasn't meant to be allowed on the school grounds, and I was pretty sure none of us were legally old enough to drink either.

"Alcohol?" Hisao seemed uncomfortable "Seriously? Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Lilly giggled at his concern "I know it's a bit questionable, but a little shouldn't hurt"

"Well, in that case I won't complain" Hisao shrugged. (That didn't take much convincing) "They don't look bad, either"

"Shall I open one?" Lilly asked the room. Any answer however was drowned out by three loud bangs on the door. I may have said a rude english word in my shock.

"Who is it?" Lilly called, undisturbed.

"Lemme' in!" said a voice "I'm cold!"

Lilly sighed as Hanako rose to get the door. In came Akira, still dressed in a suit (it may have been the same one).

"Happy birthday, Hanako" she smiled at the girl.

"Th-Thank you...Akira" Hanako responded with a polite bow.

"It's nice to have your company after all, Akira" Lilly smiled as her sister took a seat "Did work let you off?"

"Yep," her sister smiled "I have to go back in a bit, but I managed to get enough of a break to drive down". She looked at Hisao and I as if she had only just realised we were in the room "Hey guys...Hisao and Kaito, right?"

"That's us" Hisao nodded in greeting "Nice to meet you again". I nodded a "Hi" as well.

Akira suddenly clapped her hands, giving me (and Hanako it seemed) a little jump. "Well then, I assume the presents got through? No point in waiting, seeing as we're all looking pretty eager"

Lilly giggled as Hanako and Hisao shuffled in that embarrassed way that people shuffled. I guess they were  _really_ wanting to try the wine.

"Don't like wine" I said, eliciting looks from the others. I scratched my stump, uncomfortable with the attention "Had it once at home. Red. White. Rosé. Didn't like them". My parents, while strict in their own ways, were never too stingy in regards to letting me try alcohol. I had never really acquired a taste for any of it (much to their relief I imagine).

"One glass won't hurt you" Akira smiled as she uncorked the white bottle. Hanako fetched four glasses so I had a drink, if only to be polite.

"Here's to Hanako," Hisao raised his glass "And to Lilly's trip"

"Cheers!"

I'll admit the wine wasn't  _too_ bad. It wasn't as dry as some other wines I had had over the years, although I still had to make an effort to not make a face.

"I was expecting something...harsher" Hisao said (he was trying the wrong alcohol then).

"If you don't like it, I know a few other varieties you can try" Akira shrugged.

"You know your wines" he noted.

"Only a bit. I'm more of a beer kind of person. I have the drinking side down pat, though" She then emptied her glass in a single swig. Hanako, Hisao and I could only watch with a mix of shock and awe.

"Anyway," Lilly spoke "Now that Akira's gift has been sampled, shall we move on to ours?"

"G-Gifts?" Hanako repeated, as if stunned by the word.

"That's right" Lilly nodded "We got you presents. It _is_ your birthday after all"

Lilly revealed her gift to be a fairly simple brown teddy bear. Hanako still handled it gingerly, as if the small furry object was actually alive.

"Thank you, Lilly" she practically whispered, drawing the blonde into a hug. I smiled at that.

Hisao gave her his gift next. Hanako gently peeled away the wrapping until the doll and its little green dress revealed itself. "It's...It's beautiful"

"Glad you like it" he smiled.

It seemed to take a lot of effort on Hanako's part to pull her attention away from the doll "Th-Thank you, H-Hisao" The smile on her face was so warm I couldn't help but feel bad when she looked to me, no doubt wondering if I was hiding something.

"I, uh..." As much as I had tried, my painting wasn't finished. Unable to find the words I could only drop my gaze, not daring to look her in the eye "I'm sorry"

"You said you were making something, Kaito?" Lilly spoke up.

I looked up at her, thankful for her words "Yeah"

Hanako's expression wasn't what I had expected. Her eyes had gone all wide, but she looked more surprised than anything else.

"It's, uh....It's not finished though" I said.

Hanako didn't seem to mind that much though. She leaned back, holding the doll and the bear close to her chest, her smile small yet unbelievably warm. We sat in in silence for what felt like a long time, just basking in the glow of Hanako's happiness. Eventually she put her gifts down by her side and returned to her glass, taking another swig of wine.

"I don't think you should drink it that fast" Hisao warned her.

"It's a party, Hisao" Lilly giggled, taking a deep drink herself. Sighing in defeat, Hisao took another drink for his own. I was fine, my glass was fine where it was.

"Since this is kind of a going-away party for you as well," Hisao spoke up "I hope you enjoy your trip at least a little, Lilly. Hopefully your aunt will be okay"

"I-I hope your aunt is okay too, Lilly..." Hanako nodded.

"Enjoy Scotland" I smiled. Hisao elbowed me in the ribs for that. I gave him a look, what was that for?

"My, my," Lilly smiled, seemingly surprised "Thank you all. I'll be sure to convey your thoughts to my family when I meet them"

"It'll all be fine in the end, Lilly" Akira said as she refilled her glass "Don't worry about it"

The silence hung heavy over the room, so thick you could cut it with a knife. Which reminded me...

"Is there cake?" I asked.

My words seemed to lighten the mood. "Yeah" Hisao nodded "Shall I cut it up now?"

"Y-Yes please" Hanako nodded.

"I didn't know there was cake" Lilly frowned.

"I picked one up before I met up with Kaito tonight" Hisao explained "I brought some other snacks as well"

I may have drooled a little "Awesome"

"Well done, Hisao" Lilly smiled "At least one of us remembered to bring one"

Hisao reached into his bag and drew the cake, a modest chocolate one. My mouth watered as he cut it up, it took all my willpower to sit still and not snatch a slice away. We ate in silence, which I liked. I was worried that Hanako wouldn't be feeling up to such an event, but she seemed to appreciate the low-key affair. I made a promise to myself that I would spend time as I could on her gift. I would not rest until it was done.

Time passed as the four of us smiled and drank, and drank and smiled some more. Well, the others drank; I still hadn't finished my first glass.

Hanako was pouring herself a third glass when she missed, spilling wine all over the table. "S-Sorry, Lilly..." she apologised, a sleepy look on her face "I didn't mean to make a mess, I..."

"Don't worry" Hisao chuckled "I've got it..."

Lilly took Hanako in her arms "It's okay, Hanako. I'm just happy you're here"

Hanako calmed in Lilly's embrace, nodding slowly in her friends arms. The sight made us all smile. Lilly held onto Hanako as Hisao went about mopping up the spill. By the time he was done, Akira had opened the other bottle and had started refilling their glasses again.

"Looks like you're enjoying the wine then" she smiled "Just don't go too crazy with it"

I thought her statement was a bit hypocritical, seeing as she was the one giving the minors alcohol, but I decided not to say anything.

It didn't take too long for the second bottle to run out. Everyone was looking tired at that point but Hanako...well, let's just say she hadn't really moderated all that well. She was smiling with a dopey look in her eyes, playing with her dolls hair.

Lightweight.

Lilly's face had gone a bit red, but still seemed pretty composed. Hisao looked the same, while Akira still looked the same as she did when she came in (her smile was little bigger maybe, but that was it).

Hanako hiccupped and knocked her doll over "I...think I should maybe go to bed. Th-Thank you Hisao, Kaito, Lilly, Aaaaaaaakiraaaaaaaaaa…" (Yep, definitely drunk) She giggled a bit randomly after that. I didn't know whether to be concerned or to laugh.

Akira rose to her feet "Here. Let me give you a hand"

Lilly coughed, interrupting her sister "Kaito. Would you please?"

Akira looked surprised, but probably not as much as me "You...want me to take her?"

"Why not?" the blind girl smiled "You've had the least to drink out of all of us"

I got the feeling she did it for another reason, given her sly smile. I looked to Hisao, who looked more amused than anything.

"Um, okay" I finally said, rising to my feet. Hanako took her doll in one hand and offered me her other hand. which I took as I pulled her to her feet. I took her bear, holding it under my arm as I led her outside.

In the space of time it took us to leave Lilly's room and go next door to Hanako's, Hanako had bumped into me at least three times.

Stumbling into her room, Hanko put her doll on the shelf above her bed "You'll be safe in here..." she whispered, backing away and nearly tripping over her own feet in the process.

We stood there in the silence for a while, the only noise being a creaky floorboard underneath Hanako as she swayed from side to side.

"Are you..." I was afraid I was going to ask a stupid question "Are you okay?"

Hanako raised her head to look at me, as if she had just realised I was still in the room.

Then she hugged me. Actually hugged me. Her head held flat against my chest. I awkwardly put my arms around her. She giggled at that.

I'll admit I was a little uncomfortable. I wasn't used to that kind of physical contact with anyone outside of family. Her hug was making a lot of little mini-me's running around my head, screaming and waving their little arms. I wasn't too sure how to respond. There were too many senses overloading me at once: The warmth of her body, the scent of her hair, the sensation of her hands on my back.

"I...I should go" I whispered.

Hanako made a funny mewling noise as she held me tighter "But I want to staaaay with you and everyone"

"You...You can't. I can't" I protested, uncomfortable with the flood of feelings and thoughts running through my mind "You, we all need sleep. I need sleep. I need to go now"

Hanako didn't release me. She just moaned and held me tighter.

"I'll...uh..." I was a little distracted. My heart was beating far too fast and loud. Inappropriate thoughts were fuzzing up my mind the longer I looked at her "I'll see you tomorrow?"

With a little effort, I managed to release myself. Hanako gave me a look like a kicked puppy "I don't want you to go..."

My face felt uncomfortably warm "I have to" I couldn't stay. I was afraid of what would happen if I stayed.

Hanako hiccupped again, looking downright downcast. I decided I couldn't leave her like that, so I led her to her bed. As gently as I could I laid her down, sitting down beside her.

I awkwardly put my hand on her head, gently stroking her hair as I said "Goodnight, Hanako. I'm...sorry we didn't do more. Happy birthday" I left after that, turning out the light as I went.

I returned to Lilly's room to find them mid-conversation. Lilly was giggling at something, Akira had a massive grin and Hisao looked decidedly embarrassed.

"Kaito!" Hisao greeted me as if he was grateful for my return "How's Hanako?"

"Um..." I had considered telling him about how clingy Hanako had gotten with me, but I decided against it "She's sleeping now"

"That's good" Lilly smiled "I have to admit I hadn't thought that she'd drink quite so much"

"Hey, it's fine" Akira said "She's all safe and tucked up in bed now. With the way she is..." she trailed off into silence, and no one seemed interested in hearing what she was going to say. "Anyway," she rose to her feet "I'd better get going. I'm already going to be late as it is"

"But it's already so late" Lilly noted.

"Yeah, but we got a bunch of work dropped on us. Overtime it is" Akira got up to leave, but spun back around to ask "You haven't forgotten about the time for the flight and all the rest?"

"Don't worry" Lilly smiled "I have everything ready. It's just a matter of packing when it gets closer to the time to leave"

"Atta' girl. I'll see you guys later" And with a wave and a loud slam, Akira left.

"She's loud" I commented, not immediately realising I had said it aloud.

"She is indeed" Lilly smiled.

"Is anyone else drunk?" I asked the group.

"A little headache" Hisao admitted "I'll be fine"

"I'll be fine as well" Lilly said "I can moderate myself"

I sat with them for a while, silent, working up the nerve to ask the question that had been weighing on my mind "Lilly?"

"Yes, Kaito?"

"Do you have any idea what caused that thing? What happened to Hanako, I mean. You've known her the longest"

The mood visibly dropped as Lilly sighed "To be honest, I'm not sure of all of the details myself. Hanako told me she was in a house fire. I assume she's told you as much as well?"

I nodded "Yes"

"Other than that...she quite simply never told me"

That was surprising "She never told you..." Hisao repeated in disbelief.

Lilly sighed again "Assuming the worst, what does she have to look back upon? A life of isolation? Possibly even the death of her family? Maybe even going as far as blaming her existence for their deaths?

"Damn" Hisao muttered.

"What..." I said "How can we help her?"

"Well..." she said "Tell me, do either of you have anything planned for Friday evening?"

"No" we said in unison.

"Don't you leave on Saturday?" Hisao asked "We shouldn't do anything that will tire you out the night before"

"I'll be fine" she smiled "You needn't worry about me. I'd do this tomorrow evening, but I imagine Hanako will be feeling rather off for a while"

"She'll probably throw up" I guessed. Not a pleasant image but it was a likely outcome, given her apparent lightweight-ness.

"Lovely" Hisao muttered sarcastically, before asking Lilly "So what are you planning?"

"Nothing unusual, I assure you" was her answer "Just a little excursion"

I got the opinion she wasn't going to divulge anything else, so I rose to my feet "Bedtime"

"Really, man?" Hisao gave me a funny look.

"He's right" Lilly nodded "It will not be long until curfew"

"You mean I can't stay?" Hisao asked with a small smile.

"Tempting," Lilly giggled "But I'm afraid I will have to turn you down tonight"

"Okay..." I didn't really want to think too hard about what they were implying, so I left as quickly as possible "See you tomorrow"

* * *

I dreamed of Hanako that night: the warmth of her body, the scent of her hair. I wasn't too sure how to deal with the new feelings I was developing for her, but I think a part of me liked them.

I was going to need a cold shower in the morning.


	15. Words Unspoken

**"In our deepest moments we say the most inadequate things"  
** Edna O'Brien

* * *

So I had my shower. It was cold. Very cold. I managed to work a bit more on my painting before I was interrupted by a loud banging noise.

"Who is it?" I called out. There was no answer, although the banging continued.

Opening the door, I stuck my head out to find Misha and Shizune knocking on Hisao's door, really loudly I might add. "Can you stop that?" I complained "I'm working"

Misha's head snapped around to look at me "Kaito!" she grinned.

Shizune, following Misha's gaze, saw me and signed "Smith, can you explain why Hisao is not answering his door?"

"He's sleeping" I thought that was obvious.

Shizune gave me a funny look "You would think that someone who is capable of hearing would wake at the sound of someone knocking on their door"

"Maybe he's really tired?"

Shizune sighed, seemingly unsatisfied but unwilling to push the matter further, and signed something to Misha. The pink-haired girl nodded and said "Well, it will not be long before class starts. Kaito, if you'd be so kind to take this and make sure Hisao gets it should you see him"

With that, Misha handed me what looked like an envelope. It was addressed to Hisao, but on the letter was another name: Iwanako.

"Okay" I tucked it under my arm "I'll keep it"

"We expect to see you in class" they said to me, and then they left me.

I hurried back into my room, eager to get back to painting. They were right though, class was starting soon.

* * *

Hanako and Hisao didn't come to class that day. To be honest I wasn't that surprised, given the amount they had drank it would only be natural they'd be ill. I was pretty sure I'd called it.

Misha and Shizune descended upon me like crows after the bell. "How are you feeling today, Kaito?" they asked me.

"Um, okay?" I wasn't entirely sure what they wanted from me (they always wanted something) "Why?"

"Oh, no reason" Misha smiled in a way that reminded of my aunt's cat "We just thought it was weird that out of the entire group of Hisao, Hanako, Lilly and yourself, you are the only one that came to class"

Did she know? A bead of sweat may have ran down my neck "What's your point?"

"Well..." I didn't like the piercing look in Shizune's eyes "We merely thought it was odd. So we had to ask, what were you doing? Or what were the others doing?"

"Um...I don't know" I shook my head. I was tired and I didn't have the energy to bluff.

They were smiling at me. It made me uncomfortable "Did something happen last night?"

"We, uh..." I looked at Shizune "You knew Lilly was going, right? I mean, you're her cousin and everything..."

Shizune's eyes widened, like she was surprised or something "Lilly told you that?"

"No. Akira did. I met your brother, uh, Hidi...Hidi-something..."

Shizune rolled her eyes "Hideaki?"

"Yeah!" I nodded "He told me"

Shizune tapped Misha on the shoulder "Oh, okay...We're getting off-topic. What does Lilly's leaving have anything to do about it?"

"We had a little party" I said "To see her off"

"So why are you the only one is class?"

I shut up there. I couldn't think of an answer that wouldn't give away the alcohol "No reason"

Misha and Shizune shared a sly look between them. I was worried that they knew, but they never said anything. They let me go without asking anything else.

I stopped at Hisao's door on the way back to my room. Gently, I tapped on his door "Hisao? You in there?"

He didn't reply, which worried me a little. Probably just the hangover though. "I've got a thing for you. If you're feeling better, I'll be in my room"

I spent a few more hours doing homework and working on Hanako's painting.

Hisao never turned up. Guess he was getting it tomorrow.

* * *

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly. I have a letter for Hisao. I need to give it to him today.

I didn't see Hisao on the way to class, but he did turn up. Hanako came in as well, although we never managed to talk before the bell rang.

"How're you feeling?" I asked her once I had the chance.

"I'm okay" she smiled.

"Hey" came Hisao's voice "Did either of you guys uh..."

"Tell someone?" I finished the sentence "No. Not about the drink anyway. Misha and that know that we had a party"

"And how do they know that?" Hisao asked, giving me a hard stare.

"I told them" I decided to be honest "Was that wrong?"

"No" Hisao sighed "I guess not"

"Hicchan!" Misha practically bounced over to us, followed not long after by Shizune (as usual) "Not feeling well yesterday?"

"No, but I'm feeling better now" Hisao smiled, although it faltered when saw Misha's "You sound like you're not being completely serious"

"Oh no, Hicchan" the girl smiled like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth "We're genuinely pleased that you're all better now. In fact, we were quite worried about you. After all...you, Hanako and Lilly were all absent from class on the same day"

Hisao looked at me, then at Hanako, then finally back Misha with a defeated sigh "I guess you have your own theories about this. Could you just kinda...not tell anyone?"

Shizune crossed her arms with a stern look "It's a bit late for that, Hicchan" Misha mirrored her expression "The only reason why we're giving you such a hard time is that you ignored us yesterday morning!"

"Oh right, the knocking" Realisation dawned on his face "That was you two?"

"It was, and you left us there for ages after we'd taken all the effort of coming to your dormitory early in the morning"

"Sorry" he apologised " I was having a problem with...nausea? A problem with nausea"

Was that really the best he could come with? All the possibilities in the world and he went with  _nausea_? (Then again, I guess I couldn't talk).

"So why were you knocking?" Hisao asked.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot! 

"They had a letter" I explained, fishing into my bag "They had a letter for you, but they gave it to me" I handed him the letter "I knocked too, but you didn't answer"

Hisao looked at the letter, and froze when he read the name "Iwanako..."

He stared at it for a long time, long enough for it to become awkward. I was about to ask if anything was wrong before he pocketed it away "Thank you" was all he said.

"I should think so" Misha grinned "After what we went through to get it to you"

Hisao was quick to say goodbye and leave, so Hanako and I left for the library.

Hanako left me to go find her hiding spot, while I delved into the maze to find myself a book.

I was trying to wrap my head around my new feelings for Hanako. I hadn't thought very hard about it yesterday, but seeing her that morning had brought it all back to the surface. I knew I liked her as a friend, I knew that, but as time went on I was aware that my feelings were changing in ways I didn't fully grasp. I felt...stuff. Stuff that I wasn't sure how to put into words. Funny feelings in the head, gut, chest...other places. When we hugged...

My thoughts were derailed as I walked into something.

"Sorry!"  

Scratch that, I walked into someone. Specifically, Yuuko. She had been carrying a massive stack of books and hadn't seen me coming.

"Sorry" I apologised, leaning down to help pick up her books "Never saw you"

"It's okay" Yuuko said very quickly "I should have looked where I was going" She stared at me "Can I help you look for whatever it is you're looking for?"

"Um..." Oh yeah, I was meant to be looking for a book "Just um, no thanks. I'm good"

Yuuko just stared at me "Are you...feeling okay?" Either I was getting easy to read, or she was more perceptive than I gave her credit for "You look troubled"

I scratched the back of my head "It's uh, it's nothing. Just got a lot of things on my mind"

"Anything I can help with?"

"It's uh..." I felt my cheeks get a little warmer "It's Hanako"

"Hanako?" she looked confused for the briefest moment before coming to what seemed the worst conclusion "Is she okay?"

"What? Yeah, she's fine. She was a bit ill yesterday but she's fine"

Yuuko sighed one big massive breath "That's a relief. So what's the matter?"

"Nothing, it's just..." I struggled to voice my thoughts, afraid of ridicule "You won't tell anyone?"

Yuuko shook her head. Close enough to a promise, I thought to myself. "Okay. I've been having weird...feelings about Hanako"

Yuuko suddenly looked like she'd rather be anywhere else instead of talking to me "What...kind of feelings?" she asked, her voice hesitant.

"It's not much. I'm happy around her and all that and I still like her, as a friend, it's just...it feels like I feel...more, more than I used to. I'm not sure what it is. It's like..." I gave up and just hung my head "I don't know"

Yuuko gave me a weird look, but at least she smiled "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were...falling for her"

"What do you mean?"

"You're attracted to her" Yuuko explained "Falling in love?"

There was that word again: Love. "No. I don't think it's that. Love's for married people, you know, it takes years to grow. I've only known Hanako for..." I made a vague wave "a year, maybe? I don't know, not that long"

Yuuko just kept smiling at me "Some people fall in love faster than others"

"But why?" I was just so confused. I didn't know love, I didn't know how to deal with such a feeling "Why do I feel like this? Why Hanako? Why  _now_?"

"Well..." In hindsight I had to give Yuuko credit, she'd looked as confused as I had felt "People fall in love for a reason. A part of you must like her for some reason. Attraction doesn't just appear, after all"

I stared at her, a long stare that probably made her uncomfortable now that I think about it, before sighing "Okay"

So I liked Hanako, more than a friend. I was "attracted" to her. I still didn't really know what to do with that revelation "So what do you do to find out if someone likes...is attracted to you, back?"

"You could always ask" she shrugged.

I really hoped that wasn't a serious answer. I could barely string two words together when I was nervous, and I  _understood_ nerves! I didn't understand my new feelings, I didn't know how to process them! "What, no! I c-can't!"

"Okay!" Yuuko quickly said "Okay, you don't have to say anything. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you"

I took a moment to breathe "Okay. Anything else?"

Yuuko rolled her eyes as she suggested "You could...maybe try and get closer to her. Figure it out over time. Spend time with her, give her a gift..."

A gift? The painting!

The bell rang, making Yuuko jump about a foot in the air. I felt like my bones had been filled with iron. I knew what I had to do. "Thank you" I said to her before running back to class.

I ran into Hanako on the way there "Are y-you okay?" she asked me "You never came back"

"I'm okay. I was just talking to Yuuko"

Her face seemed a little sad "Oh. Okay"

A gift. That's what I needed. I swore to myself I would spend all my free time working on my birthday present for Hanako. I'd sleep as little as I could so it'd be done as soon as possible.

* * *

The city may not have been my favourite place in the world, but at night...it still wasn't, but at least it calmer than it was at daytime. Just a little.

I was there with Lilly. Hisao and Hanako and Akira. Everyone was in some kind of casual clothes (if I didn't know any better I'd say everyone only had one outfit apiece). Akira had driven us in, which was far better than the bus, even if she drove like mad.

Hanako looked great. I was so used to seeing her in the school uniform that I was absolutely stunned when she turned up in a pink blouse, black pants and denim jacket. She also had this little black hat (which I thought was adorable) that she was using to hide her face as we walked.

Concerned, I slowed down and started walking alongside her "It's nice tonight" I said, trying to make conversation.

"E-Everything looks so p-pretty at night..." Hanako smiled before dropping her gaze again (someone had just passed us).

"Hey," I gave her a friendly nudge "It's alright. I'm here" I probably shouldn't have said anything, but I really wanted Hanako to calm down if only a little. Even if people paid her less heed in the dark, Hanako still walked like a coiled spring.

"So where are we going?" Hisao asked Lilly, as he walked by her side.

Akira, walking on Lilly's other side, smiled at him. I suppose she was the one running the show, I hadn't really decided on whether or not that was comforting "You'll see" she said with a giant grin "Just follow us"

So on we walked, passing several perfectly good restaurants, cafes and other establishments. Every now and then I had to swerve to avoid some drunk as they stumbled out of a bar. Hanako, on the other hand, spent so much time staring at the ground she didn't notice an incoming businessman. "S-S-Sorry...!" she stuttered, not that the old drunk noticed, he just stumbled away muttering his own apology.

Hanako looked back down to the ground and sped to catch back up to us. As gently as I could, I reached an arm around her and edged her a little bit closer to me.

"Kaito?"

"Sorry!" I quickly took my hand away "It's just...stay close, okay?"

"...Okay"

It took us a while before we came to a stop. Akira led us away from the brighter parts of the city, below the more modern walkways and into the older looking districts. There was a smell of cigarettes in the air that I couldn't help but wrinkle my nose at.

"A jazz club" Hisao noted the sounds of music coming from inside "I have to admit, I wasn't expecting this"

Lilly gave off an amused smile "Somehow I feel like  _I_ should have expected it, Akira"

Some people were giving us funny looks. I knew I wasn't just being paranoid. Was it because we were teenagers or was it because of...other things?

"C'mon guys," Akira smiled "Just because you're teenager doesn't mean you can't have a taste, right?"

"Taste of what?" I asked.

"Everything!" was her incredibly vague answer.

"I don't mind the music if that's what you mean" Hisao said.

"I-I...don't mind it...either..." Hanako nodded. Her voice was incredibly quiet, it was barely a whisper. I just wished she'd speak up, even just a little, like she did back at the school. It was meant to be a calm night out after all.

Personally, I wouldn't say jazz was my go-to genre of music. That being said, there were worse kinds of music out there. "Okay" I nodded "Do we, uh, go in?" My eyes were on Hanako, who looked ready to burrow underground at any moment. It made me sad to see her so withdrawn.

I was all too painfully aware how odd a group we must have seemed. Hisao was probably the most normal looking guy, but the rest of us... were not. Lilly and Akira's features marked them out (let alone Lilly's blindness), I was missing limbs as well as being heavily scarred and Hanako was, well...Hanako. Her scars stood out far more than mine did. They were mesmerising but that was attention she neither needed nor desired.

With a smile Akira lead Lilly inside, followed by the rest of us not soon after. The lighting inside the club wasn't that different from the light outside, which was good because it meant I could see. There was an actual jazz band playing in the corner, I always liked it when you could see the instruments playing. Looking across the tables I noticed most of the patrons were men, there were only a few women, and there was no one who wasn't at least in their thirties. We were the youngest people there. That made me self-conscious. Hanako on the other hand, weirdly enough, seemed to relax.

Akira rested at the bar as if she had come a million times before, Hisao and Lilly taking the seats beside her as the bartender approached. "Evening" he said "What'll it be?"

"Just a scotch, thanks" Akira ordered "Lilly?"

"May I have a glass of champag-" Akira elbowed her sister "Orange juice, please"

"I'll have the same" Hisao said.

As the bartender went about to pour, Akira looked over her shoulder to see Hanako and I "Are you guys going to order something or are you just going to stand there?"

Hanako looked restless. I can't say I didn't blame her. We were both underage, the idea of ordering a drink myself gave me unreasonable levels of anxiety and I could probably have passed for a guy in his twenties. Hanako, however, did not.

Looking over her head, I noticed a sort of games corner part of the club. I looked to Hanako, to see if she wanted to check it out, but she was already looking over there.

"You want to play some pool?" I asked.

She nodded.

Akira shrugged and spun back around the face the bar.

"It seems that you'll only have Hisao and myself for company tonight, sister" Lilly smiled.

"Lucky you" Hisao chuckled.

"Have fun, guys" Akira told us.

I nodded an "Okay" and then we were off, Hanako taking the lead. It seemed the idea of a quiet game really appealed to her (personally I agreed with her).

There was no one else by the pool table so Hanako seemed to visibly unwind and stand a little straighter, her head held the tiniest bit higher "You...kn-know how to play?" she asked.

"I uh...I played once, I think. With my dad. I think I'll make do"

"Eight-ball, then?"

"Okay then" I shrugged. I wasn't entirely sure what she meant by that though.

I grabbed the cues of the wall while Hanako set up the balls. She broke and so the game began. It wasn't until I was about to take my first shot when we realised a problem: I only had one arm, or at least I didn't have enough of my second arm to rest my cue on.

"Do you...want to try something else?" Hanako asked. I wasn't sure what she meant by that. There only was a pool table, and I'm pretty sure neither of us really wanted to go back to the bar.

My spirits were lifted as I found another cue on the wall. It was one of those special ones that ended in an X-shape. "Hold on," I said "I have an idea"

Holding the X-cue under the armpit of my stumpy arm, I laid my other cue on top. It looked awkward as hell and I had to hold my cue in a really bad reverse-grip kind of way, but I managed to get off a decent enough shot.

"Huh," I smiled at Hanako "How was that?"

"Well done" she smiled at me. It was nice to see her relaxing.

I nodded towards the ball I managed to sink "That makes me stripes, right?"

She nodded a "Yes" so I stepped back to let her take her turn. She didn't move though. She just stood where she was, eye cast downwards and rubbing her arm.

"What is it?" I'd known her long enough to recognise that she wanted to ask me something.

"It's nothing. It's just...you have a n-nice smile. Do you like...playing this?"

I shrugged "I haven't played in...years, I think" My head felt a bit fuzzy as I tried to recall "It was...I think it was a good memory"

Hanako tilted her head "You think?"

"Yeah" I nodded "Since my uh...accident, my minds get a little funny sometimes. Memories lost, words forgotten. It's not as bad as it was but...it still happens sometimes"

"You said you played with your father?" Hanako asked. I guess she was trying to jog my memory.

"Yeah" I nodded "My dad took me out one night. Can't really remember why, but we played some pool at a place like this. I think it was only the one time though"

With the conversation over, Hanako took her shot. Her expression was identical to one she wore when she played chess: a weird mix of super-serious yet really relaxed. She took a few mock shots before hitting the ball, her target falling into its pocket despite the difficult angle.

"Good one" I smiled "You're much better at this than I am"

"I'm not...th-that good..." she blushed.

"Sure you are. You're the same with the chess. You get this face, like a really serious face, and you do awesome"

"I just..." Hanako lay her cue against the table "I just like those kinds of things...". She wrung her together as she spoke "When I was in the orphanage...I just...k-kept doing the things I liked...before. If I p-played games with the others, th-that was enough for the helpers there, so..."

That made sense I guessed. Those in charge would probably want their charges to socialise, even a little.

"What..." I slowly began to ask "What was it like, living in an orphanage. You don't have to tell me if you don't want, I just-"

Her knuckles were white as she took hold of her cue again "I'll...tell you, but..."

"But what?"

"Could you...t-tell me what your l-life was like?"

Oh. Fair enough. "Okay" I said as I lined up my next shot "I lived with both of my parents. They were nice people. Dad worked in construction, Mum was a...um, an office person. An accountant, I think. We lived outside the city, it was more of a town-y place. I uh...didn't have many friends"

I took my shot and missed. I uttered a curse and let Hanako take her shot. She scored. "Good job" I said.

Hanako started to talk as she lined up her next shot "The orphanage...was nice. It felt a bit like Yamaku does...and the staff were r-really kind. B-But as the years went on, I realised something. I was d-different" The way she spoke reminded me of the time she told me about the fire, like she was forcing the words out. I could hear her cue creaking from the force she gripped it "M-Most of the children there were up for adoption, just like I was. But they l-left...one by one. By the time I went to Yamaku, I was...one of the oldest children there. I h-helped with some of the y-younger children, b-but eventually..."

I put a hand on her shoulder in what I hoped was a calming gesture "It's okay"

She looked surprised, putting her cue down and looking me in the eye (the first time she'd done so since telling her story) "Do you...really think so?"

I nodded "Yeah, I think. Even if Lilly's gone, you've still got me and Hisao and that to look out for you, right?"

Hanako just stared at me. It was a little unnerving. She had really nice eyes though.

"H...Hanako?" I said, hoping to get some kind of response.

"I...I understand. Thank you" She smiled and turned away.

I looked at Hanako as I set up my next shot. She wasn't looking at me or the pool table. Her head hung low, her eyes staring at the ground. I was worried I had said something wrong. I wished she'd talk a little more, if only to speak her mind.

I took my shot. I hit the ball I had aimed at, but then it bounced off the eight ball which in turn fell into a pocket.

"That was bad, wasn't it?" I asked.

I looked to Hanako, who had started smiling again (I guess some mistakes were worth it) "I win"

I sighed. It seemed I was pretty rusty after all.

Hanako was knocking the other balls back into the pockets when she spoke up again "Kaito?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm..." I couldn't really put my finger on exactly how, but Hanako's voice sounded different as she said "I'm here for you as well, if you need me"

It made me feel a little bit warmer in the face to hear her say that, although I wasn't sure entirely why "I...Thanks. Thank you"

Hisao came over not long after to tell us we were leaving. As the five of us walked out, I couldn't help but feel that something had changed. Hanako seemed...different somehow. She was acting funny. I couldn't tell exactly what had changed, but I couldn't help but feel that there was something like a wall between us.

"So," Akira's chipper voice broke the silence "You guys enjoy yourselves?"

Hanako and I both nodded a "yes". The game had been good, after all, and we did manage to learn a few things about each other in the process.

"Worried about you trip, Lilly?" Hisao asked.

"A little" she sighed.

"So that means really worried" he smiled.

Akira laughed and clapped a hand on her sister's shoulder. Even Hanako cracked a smile.

"You'll be okay, Lilly" Hanako said "I hope you can enjoy your time over there"

"Thank you, Hanako" Lilly nodded "It will be nice to be back with my family, after all, no matter how briefly it may be"

So we went back to the car, small talk passing between us as we went. As we walked, I tried to get my thoughts in order.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly.

I am attracted to Hanako. I have...feelings for Hanako.

Feeling were weird.


End file.
